friends help: What keeps bringing me back to her? - Help.com



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What keeps bringing me back to her?

Should I be with her?

My ex-girlfriend and I haven’t been talking, because she refuses to be friends with me. The reason we broke up is because we fight constantly (she’s 2 and a half hours away at college, and is now living there permanently). When she’s home, we never fight, but she’s going to be home very rarely be home now. I don’t think I want to be back with her. For the most part, I’ve been happier without her, it’s nice to have the freedom. Sure, I miss her sometimes, but she’s my first girlfriend. She says I have to let her go, otherwise it’s too hard for her, and I understand. But for some reason, I can’t. I keep getting ahold of her somehow, asking to be friends. I can’t last more than 2 weeks without trying to get her to be friends with me again. I just don’t understand.

This open post was written 1 year, 5 months ago | V/U/S: 239, 3, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Replies (3)

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cheryl.lichen offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (14 minutes after post)

same things happened to me a while ago and i can understand your feeling. just keep yourself busy, that might help. it’s been a long time so i cant not really remember how i got out of that eventually, but busy with something else is not a bad idea right? that gives you space to review the whole thing objectively.

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Help me with: shall i touch base with him?
srnityblu offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Regina, SK, CA | 1 year, 5 months ago (9 hours, 18 minutes after post)

You are going through a transition, and you may not be aware of it, but she has been a constant in your life for quite some time now.

It may be the distance between you that causes insecurity in you that caused you to fight… again this says something maybe not towards the friendship or companionship of her… but it may be more of your needing close contact and companionship with someone. She is the closest person to you right now, and with the breakup… you panic and go back because you already know her… you already have established relationshons with her, and to go it anew,may be intimidating for you. ( you may not be consiously aware of this)

Stepping out alone can be frightening and awkward, but you can get through two weeks, after that, you may have to make a consious effort to tell yourself and force yourself not to call, or think of her. Preoccupy your time with doing things, going out and about, with friends or yourself. Discover what YOU want out of a relationship and what YOU don’t want. This may be the time to do it, self discovery is always a good thing.

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Help me with: Need a moderator to help get a friend back on to this site… computer was used by someone who got banned, and now the
gayy offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (11 months, 2 weeks after post)

What the #&$*#…um sorry but it sounds like you still care for her. I’ve been in the exact same position that you are talking about. I lived overseas for a year and a half and during that time fought with my bf like crazy. We fought because we missed each other, because we were worried about each other, and because we were frustrated. We broke up and did not talk for 6 months. Once I moved back home and went through a series of feelings and eventually calmed down I realized I loved this person and couldn’t get them out of my mind. I received an email from him checking up on me and at first didn’t know what to do. I eventually contacted him and we talk as if nothing had ever really happened. Long distance relationships…end relationships because two people cannot grow without the other being there. You’ll grow into opposite directions instead of together. Call the girl and get it together cause its obvious you care about her.

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