friends help: hey, i don’t know what other site to go to for help - Help.com

hey, i don’t know what other site to go to for help

my friend had broken up with a guy who, during the time of their relationship she was terribly raped (for the second time in her life and none of these two cases were from him, but i know one happened as she was waiting for her mum to pick her up from work in box hill, near kfc) and he helped her and stopped her from killing herself.
well around february he dumped her (for the 3rd and final time) and she was devastated and wanted to kill herself again. he dumped her because he asked her for more sex and she didn’t want to have it as often as he was wishing, so he met a girl at a party one night, thought she was a bit easy and that’s why he dumped her.

they’re still friends, but barely, she hardly ever speaks to him.the friendships she made though him are slowly going away from her and she cries nearly everyday, i’m trying to help her as best i can but i’m getting high stress levels now from the months i’ve tried to get through to her to find out what’s truely going through her mind.

I successfully got through to her the other night, but i feel that the ‘healing process’ i put her into is going to ware off before she has completely ‘filled the hole in her heart’ that he had made. he had cheated on her behind her back, she knew of it and didn’t take much notice to it coz it was her first love and wasn’t used to it all.

i need help/tips on how i can help my friend get over/mellow her emotional pain and bring her to her old self, which was a beautiful, young, smiling girl who was very hyper and what not :P she says that part of her wants to go back to him and say that she did bad by not having enough sex with him, but another part says no and another part is unsure.

sorry if i have made this confusing to people, but please, i feel she needs my help and i’m running out of time and i am starting to get weak and can’t sleep and keep crying coz i feel she might crack soon and just come under all her problems and kill herself. I also need help/tips on how i could get her to talk to me more about the rest of her problems that she doesn’t feel safe telling anyone about.

she only talks to me about this, so i feel it’s my responsibility to protect her and make her feel safe in this world once again. just before she described herself as ‘melancholy’, i don’t know what that means but i’m scared. PLEASE SOMEONE, ANYONE HELP ME :’(

This closed post was written 1 month, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 94, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Report Post

friends, girl, sex, night, safe, Problem, Part, talk, tips, kill (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

HelpBot 12 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (0 minutes after post)

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earljjj 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (32 minutes after post)

First and FOREMOST she needs PROFESSIONAL counseling to help overcome this issue. There is no quick or easy way to deal with this, everything you do will be temporary and SHE MUST SEEK professional help in a variety of ways; personally looking within and being honest with herself but also having someone SKILLED to help her sort out all the feelings, emotions and thoughts that come sporadically and frequently.

First and FOREMOST she needs PROFESSIONAL counseling to help overcome this issue. There is no quick or easy way to deal with this, everything you do will be temporary and SHE MUST SEEK professional help in a variety of ways; personally looking within and being honest with herself but also having someone SKILLED to help her sort out all the feelings, emotions and thoughts that come sporadically and frequently.

dstutzbach 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

Defiantly agree with the above post 100%. However there are things I think you can do to help your friend. What ever she confides in you, you need to keep to yourself, do not betray her trust. I would imagine she feels betrayed and alone. Let her know you couldn’t possible know how she feels inside but that your willing to listen and to not make judgments. Let her know that there is more to a relationship then just sex and that there are guys out there who are willing to be patient and understanding about her situation. Who would allow her the time she needs to cope with what has happened to her. Also inform her that if this guy broke up with her three times he obviously isn’t capable of maintaining a relatioship with her and he is probably horriblly shallow. Give her time, space, and try to generate activities out of the norm to help her see that there is more to life then what she is used to. Try going to a museum aquarium, or zoo.

Most importantly reassure her that you need her in your life, and how important she is to you.

Defiantly agree with the above post 100%. However there are things I think you can do to help your friend. What ever she confides in you, you need to keep to yourself, do not betray her trust. I would imagine she feels betrayed and alone. Let her know you couldn't possible know how she feels inside but that your willing to listen and to not make judgments. Let her know that there is more to a relationship then just sex and that there are guys out there who are willing to be patient and understanding about her situation. Who would allow her the time she needs to cope with what has happened to her. Also inform her that if this guy broke up with her three times he obviously isn't capable of maintaining a relatioship with her and he is probably horriblly shallow. Give her time, space, and try to generate activities out of the norm to help her see that there is more to life then what she is used to. Try going to a museum aquarium, or zoo. Most importantly reassure her that you need her in your life, and how important she is to you.

Help me with: Mango Chutney

Anonymous #
1 month, 2 weeks ago (12 hours, 17 minutes after post)

thanks soo much both you guys for your replies, but dstutzbach, thank’s even more, i’ll try to bring her to a museum, zoo or aquarium, does it matter if we’re both 17 though? what other places might work? thanks :)

thanks soo much both you guys for your replies, but dstutzbach, thank's even more, i'll try to bring her to a museum, zoo or aquarium, does it matter if we're both 17 though? what other places might work? thanks :)

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