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honestly, not really. i am who i am today because of the things i’ve felt. i’m sorry that you are going through a bad experience :( and i’m sure you dont want the cliche it’ll make you a better person, ad nauseum. but remember that not every one will hurt you. try your best not to let your bad experiences ruin your future ones :)

Emotional pain sucks.

Physical pain is somewhat unnecessary, although it also sucks.

It would be nice if it didn’t exist but it’s human nature to become attached to things/people, and that will inevitable lead to pain if anything goes wrong. If I have to go through some pain in order to get all the fantastic friends I have, it’s an easy choice :)

There is no love where the person will never hurt you. Love is only successful when we learn to forgive those that hurt us.

bookworm15 wrote:

BlindOptimism wrote:
honestly, not really. i am who i am today because of the things i’ve felt. i’m sorry that you are going through a bad experience :( and i’m sure you dont want the cliche it’ll make you a better person, ad nauseum. but remember that not every one will hurt you. try your best not to let your bad experiences ruin your future ones :)

Yeah, just everybody I’ve met in the past 5 years seems to have hurt me and I’m just fed up. I’ve had enough.

yeah. i’m sorry to hear that. a lot of people suck and i dont blame you in the slightest for being angry. but i know you know inside that there are plenty of wonderful people who are worth you’re time as well. the important thing is to not let yourself turn into one of these horrible bitter lying cheating people and lose your truly amazing self. save your energy for the people who can appriciate it - because they are definintely out there and will cherish it :)

I know it’s easier said than done but you have to just pick yourself up and carry on. It’s what we all have to do. What’s the point in dwelling in it? What’s the point in letting it get to you? It’s only going to get you down.
You might as well move on. Dwelling on problems doesn’t bring much happiness.

bookworm15 wrote:

Chameleon wrote:
Love is only successful when we learn to forgive those that hurt us.

That’s a lot easier said than done. I try, but sometimes, the pain they’ve caused just can’t be healed.

Some things aren’t forgivable. It is hard to forgive, but if you hope to retain a longterm relationship - forgiveness is a big part of that.

It’s easy to SAY no matter what. Less easy to do, I’ll give you that but still, that shouldn’t stop you.
Reach for the stars.

bookworm15 wrote:
Yeah, all of this is easy to say when you have friends that care.

I don’t have any friends. I’ve been married for 27 years and all I’m saying is the only reason I’ve managed that is because my husband and I have forgiven each other 783,352,359,323 times.

It’s your choice to forgive them or not, up to you. But if you can’t forgive them and you’ve decided you’re not going to, why are you still dwelling on it?

If you decide it’s unforgivable, then walk away and in time you will be able to hand your heart over to another. Yes, it might get hurt again and then the process just repeats itself. Such is life.

Well I think the only you would be able to stop feeling the emotional pain, would be to have no emotions at all. You can’t get rid of 1 emotion without getting rid of all of them.

I think the trick to being emotionally stable, is using each emotion to control each other. So if you are feeling sad, then find something funny to cheer you up. Trusting people is a really difficult thing to especially if you want to open up to them.

Yes it takes time to move on from being hurt, and it does feel rotten when they don’t even care that they hurt you. But hey, at least you found out now about him.

Maybe you shouldn’t try to figure out what they’re feeling when you don’t know. People react in different ways. It would be sad if someone didn’t care if they’d hurt someone. I guess… I don’t know, maybe it would hurt less if you tried to properly close off the situation. So it didn’t leave a gaping wound?
Just… I guess I’m saying, don’t be fooled by outer exteriors.

Oooh. Sorry I misunderstood. Well the same advice goes, just replace “him” with “her”.

So basically, I think what anon is saying (if not, this my opinion) just because they don’t seem to care doesn’t mean that they don’t. The best thing that you can do is just say to them that they HAVE (not are) been a good friend, but what they did to you cannot be forgiven. You could then let them know that you are now feel indifferent towards them and hope that your friendship can be rebuilt.

If you tried your best, who can argue?

Was anyone arguing? Did she not think your best was good enough?

Friends do inevitable fall out - is it not possible this is just another fall out?

Hehe, actually I did know you knew it was me, I was wondering how long you would keep talking. And I was just trying to see what you were thinking of me for all of this. Can’t blame a woman for trying.

You can only try so hard before there is a limit, sometimes you have to let things ride. If she’s worth it, then eventually you’re going to have to forgive her, otherwise really why exert the effort?

You really want to know why? You’re not going to like it.

Fine.

Well the last straw for me was the whole “If you’re not here by 5 to I’m going without you”. I’d told you a lot of times that if I was too much of an inconvenience on you then I could make other arrangements, and go with other people.
You know something? I may be a *****. I may have ruined your trust forever (although I really fail to see how not being someone’s friend is ruining trust). But I would never turn around to you and say that if you weren’t at my house on time I would leave you on a doorstep and go without you.
You could have just told me to go with someone else. But to be frank, that was the last straw and I didn’t like that thought that you really would just leave me on a doorstep and go without me.