the bull may be the victim, however, it is also much stronger than any man can possibly be. it does not lie or cheat, or do anything to deserve it’s place as a spectacle. it is chosen because it is strong and the challenger is weak. it is chosen because the challenger wants to cover up their own insecurities by demolishing the bulls strength. and they do not do this with fair game; they lever the rules to their advantage, simply because they can.
the bull may become tired and weak, perhaps even wounded and broken, but it won’t ever give up. it doesn’t lose its passion or its spirit. don’t let misfortune and distrust break you. let it make you stronger. break free from the arena and become a better person with a better life then you could imagine.
try your best not to give up :) things are hard and i sympathise. but you are the one to make them better :)
Truth be told you seem to have a very good idea of what is going on around you but you arent actually doing anything about it. Any analogy you make is going to pale into insignificance - what is really the matter - Regards Mas
First thing: don’t give up. Don’t give in. I did give in some time ago and I realize now that spending half a year in bed wasn’t the best choice. Take small steps into making things better.
Ask yourself small questions like “what do I like about myself today?” instead of “why am I feeling so ugly?” I don’t know if you are feeling like that, its just an example. Change the way you look at things and take small steps to make them better. Short goals, once you start completing them you will feel happy and willing to go on. Giving up is letting yourself down, don’t give into that, its not worth it.
About love, I am going through something tough as well, but you know what? The most important person to love is yourself (i should listen to my own advice). LOVE YOURSELF! BE TRUE TO YOURSELF! RESPECT YOURSELF! When everything is gone, there is only one thing left, and it is you. Become independant, go do something only for you and see how that goes. It can be anything you like.
Good luck
Tobee
thats really sweetly intelligently written, impressive!
but some people do make bad decisions (i can never spell that lol) for the right reasons.
like if you really like someone, you may think its best to leave them, if you dont feel worthy enough, or if you fear you may hurt them in their own happiness by being with them.
its a bad move, and hurts both people, but its for the right reasons, even if those reasons arnt actually realisitic. and love is never realistic!
i guess i make no sense, sorry!
I have found that it is better to believe in things you can control, namely, Yourself. If you allow yourself esteem to be dependent on others actions you are doomed to feel like crap. If you have faith in you and believe in you others will recognize it if you don’t they recognize that and you attract those that will step all over you. It’s an old saying , but true, that; It’s not how often you get knocked down, but how often you get back up that counts most. Been where you are and it sucks big time. Hang in there and fight for your esteem. No-one else will and it is a very sweet prize when you win it. In your corner
ICV
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I think you have done incredibly well actually you have left a record that we can always go back to if we dont understand something you say - that is handy - what is it you want to study and do you really have to stay at home because there are other options out here in this world? - Mas
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I’m sorry but right now you have absolutely no chance whatsoever of passing the psyche test for your intended career - are you sure you are cut out for this path? - Mas
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btw, thanks for listening and talking to me about this.
Actually one of the biggest career challenges in life is being happy with your own company - that is a task that many people never even try to pass. And to be fair - you may feel that your chosen career is a difficult mountain to climb but someone else set the parameters for that climb. You are going through a major trauma at the moment - it’s like you lost a limb and a big part of your heart. Still got major concerns about you turning your career aspirations in the opposite direction however - the transition from wife, mother, teacher, to the opposite end of the scale is a bit like you are beating yourself up for not getting this right the first time. Be careful you arent reacting too hastily to a broken heart. Oh and remember - everything you post in the internet can be found - so maybe discretion should be employed in your posts from now on - you have told the story once - enough for it to be used against you if anyone ever connected you to it - stop now and think - post your thoughts and feelings but not your actualities - Mas
thank you, thats actually what i was thinking. I was thinking about deleteing this all tomorrow. I’m very paranoid about this kind of info being left on the net, but its been good talking to you and helpful, and your right about everything you just said, to a tee. It is like beating myself up, but at the same time, I know that with my talents and the way my mind works and the ablities i do have (when i’m not struggling) would be useful in this career endeavor, and i would enjoy it. I think this must be some what like how a drug addict feels going cold turkey, or any other kind of addict that goes completely cold turkey and does a comeplete turn around. I wish there was an easier way, but maybe i can use what i learn from this later on in life with something even more difficult, its just hard to get through, right now.
Well I’ll give you a tip you can always get me on Mas 1st at live.com and that works for IM as well - that way you can talk because you really cannot get much deleted here on Help.com without a very valid reason (sounds like you may have one)
p.s. A broken heart hurts more than any addiction - Speak soon - Mas
Anonymous # edited this post 2 months ago. Read the previous text »
Going through hardship, and needed to express it somewhere!
On yahoo answers I’m afraid of posting a question, because of all the ratings and the judgment and the pressure of choosing a best answer and then never really getting to know anyone at all, and always having to phrase everything as a question instead of just being able to speak what’s on your mind. I have gotten a better feel from people on here, but of course there will always be the occasional person to lash out words of hate to someone they don’t know, just because they do not understand the full situation of a persons hardships, and because they think they know better. This is the reason I was hesitant to post anything here as well. I hope no one will judge me and understand where I am coming from, of course I cannot fully explain everything that has been going on in my life up to this point, but I wrote this out of hurt and have been needing a place to express it, I hope to find a kindred spirit willing to be a friend with no judgment and unassuming as to why I am going through this pain. I have found that jealousy is the key factor for why so many people have been causing me so much pain, or in the case of men, their lack of confidence in themselves to just be grateful that I love them, and will stick by me because no one is perfect, and they need me as much as I need them. I only feel more worthless at each abandonment, not more happy and confident in finding someone better who will stick by me no matter what. Do they honestly believe if they leave me, that this really wealthy guy ten times smarter than them and who is dashingly handsome will just appear out of thin air? If I say I love you, it’s because I really do and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It’s also because I found something in you that I found in no one else. Well I suppose single is not a bad way to be, but it certainly has dashed my first and foremost dreams of being a wife and mother down the drain. Getting out of a 3 and a half year relationship that still at times feels its not really over, because I ended it but didn’t want to, but had to because he was far away and unwilling to make any efforts to come see me like I had done for him, has been pure torture among other things. I feel everything in my life has changed so quickly and I’m left with major decisions in order to make my life worth any purpose at all. So on that note, this is why I wrote what I wrote below:
My heart has been broken into a thousand pieces, my mind has been left to wander, they rejected me at a job I thought I had in the bag, but lied to me for the reason they did not hire me. My friends have all betrayed me and used me for money or physicality’s. I’m left wondering if I can even trust my only friend and sister, my brother seems distant and thinks he’s better than everyone, and my eldest sister lied about and betrayed me. I find myself more and more lost in what is a dark cavern, caving in all around, with people leering in at me the way spectators watch a bull fight. I’m the bull with-in the arena, put on display for the audience to mock and cheer, for the opponent with his spears of death and pain searing into my body, I am the bull in his confusion and inability to understand, only running about groaning trying to search for some way out, not knowing this is just a game for everyone else, and I’m the only player that does not know how to play or win, with only death in sight at the end. I am the bull at the end when he has given up and can no longer keep running and stay angry at what everyone is doing to me. I have given in, I can fight no longer. Take me says the bull, and so do I.
I’m glad that you could find help, I hope everything goes well for you.
Tobee wrote:
I’m glad that you could find help, I hope everything goes well for you.
thank you so much Tobee. I really appreciated your first reply. It was very helpful.
icv wrote:
I have found that it is better to believe in things you can control, namely, Yourself. If you allow yourself esteem to be dependent on others actions you are doomed to feel like crap. If you have faith in you and believe in you others will recognize it if you don’t they recognize that and you attract those that will step all over you. It’s an old saying , but true, that; It’s not how often you get knocked down, but how often you get back up that counts most. Been where you are and it sucks big time. Hang in there and fight for your esteem. No-one else will and it is a very sweet prize when you win it. In your corner
ICV
Thank you ICV. Its very true and important to remember. thanks for undertanding and being supportive.
no one in paticular wrote:
Tobee wrote:
I’m glad that you could find help, I hope everything goes well for you.
thank you so much Tobee. I really appreciated your first reply. It was very helpful.
no problem, I posted for the first time yesterday and I’m addicted to this place now hehe. Like I said, good luck and may everything go amazing for you.
BlindOptimism wrote:
the bull may be the victim, however, it is also much stronger than any man can possibly be. it does not lie or cheat, or do anything to deserve it’s place as a spectacle. it is chosen because it is strong and the challenger is weak. it is chosen because the challenger wants to cover up their own insecurities by demolishing the bulls strength. and they do not do this with fair game; they lever the rules to their advantage, simply because they can.
the bull may become tired and weak, perhaps even wounded and broken, but it won’t ever give up. it doesn’t lose its passion or its spirit. don’t let misfortune and distrust break you. let it make you stronger. break free from the arena and become a better person with a better life then you could imagine.
try your best not to give up :) things are hard and i sympathise. but you are the one to make them better :)
thank you so much for this. Your very right, i can’t give in. I appreciate your sympathy and encouragement. I read your post again this morning to encourage me to get up and out of bed and to just keep going. Thank you
:) i’m glad :) remember, all you can do is your best :) hope everything is going well for you
Anonymous # edited this post 1 month, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »
thanks to those of you who helped me, i really appreciate your kind words and helpful suggestions. They will not go on ignored or disregarded by any means. Thanks again. I’ll be refering back to your posts often.
BlindOptimism
Mas1st
Tobee
ayc
icv