boyfriend help: Single mum of two, live on an island, boyfriends just got a new

Jen*

Single mum of two, live on an island, boyfriends just

got a new job with prospects but I want to move to the mainland to study to become an art teacher, which is possible but will be a financial strain and be exhausting. Dont know if its selfish, dont want to regret not doing it, dont know what to do!!

This open post was written 3 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 187, 11, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Jen* may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Jen* is a verified member, has been around for 5 months, 1 week and has 7 posts and 91 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

art, Teacher, finance, Island, boyfriend, Art education, selfishness, Mainland, live, job (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (11)

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Fever Dream 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (34 minutes after post)

If i were in that position i would look at my priorities, In your position you should ask yourself how it will affect your kids and your boyfriend if you really care about him. Worst comes to worst a coin flip Never fails at deciding for you. =3

Jen* 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (47 minutes after post)

Coin flip, lol! Well I think our relationship is strong enough to handle the distance & it would only be four years. Plus with children you never know how they’ll handle things really until it happens. I’m just scared. Also I loook at my parents and how they never met there full potential in life, I dont want that to happen to me. I dont want to work in a supermarket or something like that, I want my kids to be proud of me and have a strong example to follow.

Fever Dream 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (49 minutes after post)

You’re on the right track! I know its hard to really put some things above others but it never hurts to make a list or something. Like a Pros and Cons sheet. whatever it takes for you to feel happy, ya know?

(1)

Jen* 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 7 minutes after post)

Good idea, but the idea still scares me. Our island is really safe and I dont really know what to expect living near a city, thats what scares me most. Researching the area will probly help, thanks again.

Fever Dream 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 11 minutes after post)

Scares you?!
What scares you?

Jen* 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 17 minutes after post)

I’ve lived here all my life and this island is far away from the mainland of scotland. Its really safe for my kids, they can run wild through our village til tea time and they’ll be fine, no worries and everyone knows me and them here. I know they wont e able to do that there but their will be other opportunities and stuff, like we dont have a cinema here etc. I just need to toughen up I think.

Fever Dream 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 21 minutes after post)

=/
Yea i really hate to say that as a solution. But yea thats about it if your seriously considering it. Britain in general is filled with nice caring people you shouldn’t have to worry about anything, From my experience anyway. I mean I live in the US, we have 11 Thousand Deaths from guns alone in a year. england has something like 78. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be comforting or what but I’m just trying to help =)

Jen* 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 25 minutes after post)

Jee harsh stuff! Maybe I’m overreacting a bit considering that fact. Thanx fever for the perspective :-)

neku 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (3 days after post)

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Help me with: If you do not have access to the mains power supply, and the earthing in your house is not proper, is there anything you can do to prevent shocks ?

saoghalbea #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (3 weeks after post)

With the learning centre network growing rapidly, as well as developments with UHI (the University of the Highlands and Islands) you should be able to study from ‘home’ (ie at the nearest learning centre). There may be a chance you will have to move away for some parts of your course but it’s more likely that you will only need to go away for intensives (usually a week or so based at a bigger college in a bigger town). Orkney college run HNC and undergrad courses in Art, if you are in those islands and you can study for your teaching degree from learning centres on Skye and any of the outer Hebrides, if you are in that direction. Worst case scenario you might have to move from your current village to a larger town nearby. Just because you want to do further study does NOT mean that you have to move to a major city.

I started a Bachelor of Science in Portree when I was in Scotland a few years back and was able to do the entire course online. I also had access to the local learning centre where there were full-time staff employed to assist me with my studies,I had free computer/internet access (and they were open outside usual business hours), photocopying, phone calls etc.

This may be a better solution for you than moving away - if you move away you lose the support networks you’ve already built up - especially in regards to people taking care of your kids. Plus moving would mean taking your kids out of school, away from friends etc. The likelihood of having to relocate in order to get a job once you finish your course is pretty high (have you been to the TES forums (Times Educational Supplement) to have a look at what the current situation is like for teachers in Scotland, as it is pretty dire!!! (altho not necessarily in your subject area)

Best advice would be: get in touch with student services at UHI (University of Highlands and Islands) or your nearest campus and speak to them about your options before you make any huge decisions. You may also find that some of the other unis and colleges in Scotland offer courses via distance learning.

Good luck. It is great that you want to take this step and get ahead and I wish you all the best!

With the learning centre network growing rapidly, as well as developments with UHI (the University of the Highlands and Islands) you should be able to study from 'home' (ie at the nearest learning centre).  There may be a chance you will have to move away for some parts of your course but it's more likely that you will only need to go away for intensives (usually a week or so based at a bigger college in a bigger town). Orkney college run HNC and undergrad courses in Art, if you are in those islands and you can study for your teaching degree from learning centres on Skye and any of the outer Hebrides, if you are in that direction.  Worst case scenario you might have to move from your current village to a larger town nearby.  Just because you want to do further study does NOT mean that you have to move to a major city.

This may be a better solution for you than moving away - if you move away you lose the support networks you've already built up - especially in regards to people taking care of your kids.  Plus moving would mean taking your kids out of school, away from friends etc.  The likelihood of having to relocate in order to get a job once you finish your course is pretty high (have you been to the TES forums (Times Educational Supplement) to have a look at what the current situation is like for teachers in Scotland, as it is pretty dire!!! (altho not necessarily in your subject area)

Best advice would be: get in touch with student services at UHI (University of Highlands and Islands) or your nearest campus and speak to them about your options before you make any huge decisions.  You may also find that some of the other unis and colleges in Scotland offer courses via distance learning.

Good luck.  It is great that you want to take this step and get ahead and I wish you all the best!

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kerease #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

please help me! im 26 been told im a very pretty girl i have to great kid i separated from my husband and there father 4 years ago. te first 2 years of them i went on a im single havin fun thing, now ill i want is to settle down with someone ad find the right man to be apart of mine and my kids lifes, yet its hopeless!. im currantly with someone but he is a few years younger then me . i didnt think this was a prolem as i truly love him my kids love him but he has just told me he sees us as hold bcks to his live he wants to go to uni and be the best at everything he ds. he tells me he loves me and wants me there with him every step of the way but sees the kids as a hold back e wont have anything to do with them, he says they can be there aslong as he dont have to ever look after them , give me money to help support them or anything. tell me am i to young to be wanting to settle down or is it just all the men i get with hate my kids? why cant i find someone to love me and my kids?

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