Love help: How to overcome my insecurities? - Help.com

You poor thing :-( I have been through something similar and it turned out that my partner was cheating. Sounds corny but i can recommend a FANTASTIC book that you will not regret reading. It’s written by Greg Behrendt and is called “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken”. I know you and your boyfriend haven’t broken up, but it has some really good stuff in it that will really make things clearer in your. His other book is called “He’s Just Not That Into You”. I haven’t read it but am sure it would also be really helpful. Good luck xx

There are very few problems in relationships that cannot be fixed by sitting the 2 people down and talking.
And there are a great many problems caused in relationships because people don’t do that enough.
’nuff said

Sounds to me like the spark between you is fading, or your boyfriend just needs a big kick up the backside. I think the best advice is to talk to him and tell him all your insecurities and that you want things to be like they were. Yours words might fan the spark back into a fire, but then again could extingush it totally.
But insecurites eat you up, so you will always be better off getting things out in the open. Whatever the outcome we’ll all be here for you, wish you good luck :)

QUIT WORRYING if he wants you.

THINK ABOUT if you want HIM.

Ive had the same thing happen to me for MONTHS. For MONTHS i WASTED DAY AFTER DAY on this nonsense. And THEN all of a sudden I realized — what in the world am IIII settling for? Do III want someone like this? NO. I want someone who is interested, open, loving - committed….not who just shuts off.

I say forget him….or else at least start focusing on other things. You deserve to be treated well. State your disappointment and see if things change or else just get busy - but whatever you do - DONt worry/let yourself lose too many days or months over this guy - life is short!

The advice above is good.

Hon, your “insecurity” is a good tool that is telling you the relationship is over, he has found someone new.

Enjoy yourself. Celebrate your freedom (even if it seems hard to do.)

theres something to be said about women’s intuition.
if u feel somethings wrong then it probably is.
:S

Thanks everyone! Your replies are a great help although it’s not that easy to do on my part. I’ve been trying to get busy to re-focus my attention. The hardest part is … he’s an officemate. And there’s this one girl in the same team that we are that I’m really jealous of. I do not know why. But I feel so different about her.

I tried to discuss with him about my insecurities and confusion but all I get are the same answers … that I am paranoid!

I’ll be celebrating my birthday next week and I do not know if he has plans for it. I told him that this might be the saddest birthday that I’ll have. He said that I am too sentimental. Well, to reverse that thought, am planning to have a getaway weekend with a girl friend. An out of town trip to enjoy and celebrate my birthday. I really wish I could bring back the old me. I miss that. I really hate having this feelings. It’s killing me.

I know that the only person who can help me is “ME”. And I am starting to do it one step at a time.

GEM_9: Thanks! I’ll try to look for that book. I have “He’s Just Not That Into You” but I haven’t read it. A friend gave it to me.

From what I’ve read you strike me as the kind of person who deserves and wants someone who is as “into them” as they are “into you”
Perhaps you should think about looking for another guy?

Well, well…. Interestin situation… What i feel is, who so ever you are, you should talk to your boy friend on the face & tell him about your insecurities… Tell him how hurt & insecured u feel…. Discuss the sitaution openly… if he is a sensible & honest man he will understand & will really take you out of this.. if he really loves you he will admit his mistake & will make you feel comfortable….
That is what will work for you… If he ignores to talk to you about this, that means he his seeing someone else… Simple as that…
Hope this will suffice…
Regards,
SN