Just my opinion here, but “he said he had a gut feeling and when we broke up the gut feeling went away” makes me think he broke up with you for more than just the distance. My advice - move on and let him go.
omg… well, as i posted earlier today, that is kind of my problem too. you see, i fell in love with an italian guy, but then i moved to Malaga, Spain. That was almost a year ago, and we’ve both tried to go on with our lives no matter how painful it was… yet we soon realized we couldn’t, because we are truly in love. i think that if you really love one another, such a short distance (compared to the distance that divides my ex and i) shouldn’t stop you guys. and if it does, then it maybe it wasn’t exactly love.. in that case, move on.
but he always says that he “doesnt want to do this but i has to”
He may say that because he’s trying to let you down easy. Sounds like it to me.
If he calls it off he calls it off. There is nothing you can do. I know it hurts but you cannot force someone into loving you. Most break-ups aren’t mutual, the majority are very much one sided.
see that is where i disagree. just the day beore we were perfectly fine. when people break up there is something that usualy goes wrong and you at least notice signs of it. i know it is love we have gone through eveything together and this incident just came out of nowhere.
How long were you a couple?
imcnstars612 wrote:
see that is where i disagree. just the day beore we were perfectly fine. when people break up there is something that usualy goes wrong and you at least notice signs of it. i know it is love we have gone through eveything together and this incident just came out of nowhere.
This is where I disagree. My break ups have always been out of the blue. It happens. I am living proof.
oh and chameleon, when guys cry over the phone, you know two things
1. they have no problems getting in touch with feelings
and 2. i knew he didnt want to but when busy schedules wiht athletics and school, it can be a realy pain in the ***. so it was quite obvious but he said he cant stand to hurt anymore
we have been together for seven months
Well what can you do? When someone wants to break up with you, you can’t force them to stay in the relationship. For whatever reason he made the choice - he made it. You have to respect that. Maybe he will realize he loves you more than he thought and change his mind if you give him time.
I recall a survey saying that way over half of the relationships in high school are ended by the girl when the guy was perfectly content. I can verify this from experience, Either way I’ve said it before and ill say it again. You need to tough out the 25 minutes and talk to him about this until your both happy with a decision.
how much time is usually enough. its just so weird. i mean he’s my best friend and he wasnt himself its just not right and im a phycology major now, i should know.
y cant he stay where you live? where there’s a will theres a way I think.
has he a job? he could travel to see you. If he loves he will
jetmoo wrote:
has he a job? he could travel to see you. If he loves he will
Exactly. There is more to this than he is saying.
nope no jobs. both college athletes so no time really. akron is right by barberton
still if he loved you, he would find a way. what does a college althlete do? he could give that up n get a job
Maybe this is the situation: He has a lot on his plate right now. A lot of changes and adjustments. Maybe he’s feeling suffocated in the relationship and needs to get his head above water so he can cope with all the changes in his life. Maybe he doesn’t even realize that he’s feeling suffocated, but the “gut feeling” that went away after breaking up with you might have been due to that. Or maybe the situation is a million different possible scenarios. If he won’t or can’t tell you, then all you can do is wait a while to see if he wants to get back together, then move on.
Anonymous
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1 year, 4 months ago (20 hours, 52 minutes after post)
im betting you’re right. i’m just scared that i’m about to lose my best friend. i don’t want him to be unhappy but i dont want to be in such a depression either. im sick of the tears and i just want to see him. but he can barley talk on the phone to me. im afraid. im realy afraid.
There us nothing to be afraid of. The pain that you are feeling right now is bereavement. It’s the same as losing a loved one to death. Painful as hell, that’s a fact. You will experience this pain over and over again throughout your life, but you know what, you will still live to see another day. Time is a healer, especially in situations like the one that you have found yourself in. This is probably just as tough for him, that’s why he is finding it hard to talk to you. Give him, and yourself, a chance to calm down and let everything sink in. Then you will most likely find that it will be easier for both of you to have a rational discussion about what has happened and if there is any hope for the future. Just please, try and remain calm. I know exactly how you are feeling hun, and take it from me, it gets better.
This happens… you aren’t the first person and you won’t be the last. This happened to me a few years back. I wanted him back more than anything, and the feeling was mutual again. But then I moved on, and realized that there are so many people in the world that I haven’t met yet. and to try and peg my future husband as a sophomore in high school, while it isn’t unheard of.. it is just unlikely. He actually used the same excuse on me, “I don’t want to hurt you”, but I said, “Too late for that!” So yes… moral of it all is, everything will be okay. I am now a junior in college and am currently in a 9 month relationship with the perfect boy. I couldn’t be happier :)
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25 minutes is absolutely nothing! you don’t have to see each other every day, do you? even if you did, one of my friends drives to school every day- 40 min. each way. what’s 25 min? i have a friend who’s dating a girl in japan, and he lives in massachusetts!
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