hurt help: So you get through the most desperate time you will ever face - Help.com

jed drums-manically-
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So you get through the most desperate time you will

ever face in your life unscathed and alive, but newfound strength or phsycological defense mechanisms, where does one end and the other begin?
It is ok to be cautious and to not get caught in a trap with the wrong person, but when your subconsciously refusing to respond to the pretty girl you like who is trying to chat you up, and are not even sure if you can be bothered even though all your life up until 8 months ago, you had been empty and holding on to a dream, trying desperately to find the right person? Just sat there comfortably at your own ‘room party’ with a beautiful girl and naturally appear like ‘hun, your touching my arm…’
What happened before christmas broke me completely and is quite an intense story, however, I’m starting to feel as if I am hiding behind a wall, as much as drawing on personal strength. It is good though that I can be happy being by myself I guess

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Since writing this post jed drums-manically- may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. jed drums-manically- is a verified member, has been around for 9 months, 3 weeks and has 5 posts and 193 replies to their name.

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difficult times, stories, hurt, Defense mechanisms, girls (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (7)

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jed drums-manically- changed the tags on this post: they were "Christmas, Dream, happiness, life, Huns, girl, SAT, party, drawing, Person, girls, defense mechanisms, hurt, stories, difficult times" 3 months ago.

Help me with: Does anyone out there like Tori Amos?
jed drums-manically- offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (11 minutes after post)

anyone know the sort of thing I’m talking about?

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Help me with: Does anyone out there like Tori Amos?
Tobee offline Verified User (3 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (21 minutes after post)

Sometimes you have to form habits that may not make you feel comfortable at first. If you know that your refusing to respond to the pretty girl, go ahead and make an effort to chat with her. What makes us different from other animals is that we can use our reason and logic to behave a certain way. We can say no to things we want, and we can do things we dont want.

If you know you are hiding behind a wall, go over it using your brain and not your heart. Then you will get used to it. Its a defensive mechanism called “fear”. People will use other words instead of fear, like anxious, nervous, etc.. But its fear. We have the power to overcome our fears by using our will.

Once you start and you realize that you are doing what you know is right, it will feel right.

Good Luck
Tobee

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Help me with: Im having trouble taking a decision about my ex.
jed drums-manically- offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (28 minutes after post)

I don’t know though. I’m not really afraid of anything, certainly not anymore, but Its like I just can’t be asked. What I’m meaning is that I am currently pushing away all those who not long ago I would have made the effort with. It’s like I have given in and given up on even finding someone remotely nice, and strangely, for the most part, I don’t even really mind. It just seems strange, such a big jump for me, going from relying solely on others for happiness and to like myself, to becoming the complete opposite and actually being very difficult to approach.

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Help me with: Does anyone out there like Tori Amos?
jed drums-manically- offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (31 minutes after post)

I did go through the most horrendous time however, and at the time, life went crazy and I was lost in a living hell, which I tried to end. So that was the turning point…

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Help me with: Does anyone out there like Tori Amos?
Tobee offline Verified User (3 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (34 minutes after post)

Your not aware of your fear, thats why you mentioned your subconcious. You see, when you react a certain way to situations, its because of many reasons beyond the ones you can immediatley think of. There is always something else inside going on. To say that you are not afraid of anything you are just closing a door that will get you to know yourself better.

Since the turning point was a time in which you were lost, you are probably acting different to feel safe that it wont happen again. If you push people away, they can’t hurt you. If you let them in, you become vulnerable. I’m not saying that you should push them away, I just mention this so you can realize that there really is fear. And fear is nothing to be ashamed of, its there for a reason, to help be safe.

I don’t know what happened in your past, but it seems to me like it affected you more than you are willing to admit. Don’t be afraid to know whats really going on, question yourself and look for the answer.

If you have any more thoughts, I will be on the site for a while.

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Help me with: Im having trouble taking a decision about my ex.

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