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oh yes, i know what you mean. i’m not sure if depression is the right word, but i do know that worrying comes so naturally to so many of us!

like many things, worrying is a habit. it’s something we’ve learned to do - perhaps from watching our parents, or as a result of coming under too much scrutiny at too early an age, or maybe even because we’ve found that worrying has, in some way, brought us success or safety.

so, if it is a habit and something we learn to do, then it must be something we can learn NOT to do. easier said than done, for sure, but i guess it comes down to what you want. do you want to worry? do you enjoy worrying and being anxious? if so, no problem - as you were.

if not, then make the choice to PRACTICE. dedicate yourself to side-stepping your worries. just like anything else that’s difficult, teaching yourself to be worry-free takes practice over time.

everytime a worrying thought pops into your mind, you can choose to indulge it or you can choose to acknowledge it and let it go. maybe ask yourself “is it worth worrying about?” if it is, then put your fear into some kind of action so you don’t have to worry anymore. if it isn’t, then chuck it. it’s not worth your time. i’m sure you have better, more fun things to do! and if not, go and find them :)

as a more active approach, do something physical - go for a walk, start a new course or hobby, play sport, do yoga, find a creative or social outlet… get in your body, and out of your mind for a while. that alone can make you feel a lot better.

“The only thing that I know, is that I know nothing.”
-Socrates
Stop trying so hard to analyze yourself.. you don’t have to understand everything. And you got to get ur *** up, and be ready for change.. You got to make the change happen.

“It’s not the strongest, or even the smartest that survive, it is those that adapt best to change.”
-Charles Darwin

Absolutely wonderful way of putting it and explaining the Depression feeling. Exactly like you said it is important to not begin to enjoy worrying and complaining because this certainly can become a part of your identity, some people secretly like to be this way it keeps them happy to be Depressed, if that makes sense.

Ok, the worrying, we need to strip this back and understand that worry is the symptom, FEAR is the cause, we really need to understand that the only thing that makes us anxious, worried, afraid , concerned, apprehensive, etc etc etc, is FEAR.

When we understand that and strip this back further we can then look at what we fear. We usually find the fear is of failure and critisism.

Tell yourself a lie :
One way to transend fear is to look at it like this:
We usually tell ourselves lies by thinking negatively and saying that a certain situation will work out bad, it usually doesnt, although we dont learn by this mistake and carry on telling our selves lies. If we are going to lie , lie to yourself possitively telling yourself that most things will work out ok, believe it or not this way you will be correct at least 96 per cent of the time !!

Did you know that you will only be liked by about 30% of people you meet. This alone allows us to cope with rejection so much easier, I used to run around attempting to make 100% of people in my experience happy, was i fighting a losing battle or what, it took me a long time to work that one out.

What have you done about feeling this way ??

By the way to come to this site and open up is a really good sign !!
There is alot of experience here , stick with it and you will find heaps of benifits, you can then help on your recovery. Good luck

Oh I hears ya, Cosmic. Boredom is the worst, worst, worst. As a serial-worrier myself, I know the terrain well. :)

And, hey, great response from wayneandc - only being liked by 30% of the people you meet is a pretty liberating thought!

speck wrote:
oh yes, i know what you mean. i’m not sure if depression is the right word, but i do know that worrying comes so naturally to so many of us!

like many things, worrying is a habit. it’s something we’ve learned to do - perhaps from watching our parents, or as a result of coming under too much scrutiny at too early an age, or maybe even because we’ve found that worrying has, in some way, brought us success or safety.

so, if it is a habit and something we learn to do, then it must be something we can learn NOT to do. easier said than done, for sure, but i guess it comes down to what you want. do you want to worry? do you enjoy worrying and being anxious? if so, no problem - as you were.

if not, then make the choice to PRACTICE. dedicate yourself to side-stepping your worries. just like anything else that’s difficult, teaching yourself to be worry-free takes practice over time.

everytime a worrying thought pops into your mind, you can choose to indulge it or you can choose to acknowledge it and let it go. maybe ask yourself “is it worth worrying about?” if it is, then put your fear into some kind of action so you don’t have to worry anymore. if it isn’t, then chuck it. it’s not worth your time. i’m sure you have better, more fun things to do! and if not, go and find them :)

as a more active approach, do something physical - go for a walk, start a new course or hobby, play sport, do yoga, find a creative or social outlet… get in your body, and out of your mind for a while. that alone can make you feel a lot better.

Yes speck its unfortunate but social conditioning does certainly have an inpact in the way we think, its like fear is contagious, when we go out our parents tell us to be carefull, what a disaster, we dont need to be carefull we need to be happy !!!

speck wrote:
Oh I hears ya, Cosmic. Boredom is the worst, worst, worst. As a serial-worrier myself, I know the terrain well. :)And, hey, great response from wayneandc - only being liked by 30% of the people you meet is a pretty liberating thought!

Yeh i was informed of this during a CBT ( cognitic behaviour therapy ) course i was doing, it blew me away to be honest, those few words certainly allow us to transend rejection so much easier.

I think i will make a post on that , it may help a few more

Cosmic Fool wrote:
I’ve never heard the 30% statistic before! Not sure what I think about it, kinds sad in a way heh! But yeah liberating too! I must bring up the average because I like about half the people I meet, trick is to like people for who they are, not who you want them to be.Does make me feel better about the friends I’ve lost though, 70% of them liked me for a while, so I beat the statistic ;) heh!Worrying is a way of life in general today, I’m not really a special case! As always its great to know your not alone.Thanks for the respsonses everyone =)

I certainly wouldnt say you were alone, just letting you know it doesnt have to be that way if you dont want it to be.

OH ok nice one, good to see you helping

I’m glad you made this post :)

It explains depression so well, and next time someone tells me to just change (as if it’s as simple as that) I’ll send them to this post and stick my tongue out at them.

Thank you! =D

This post really does describe depression, or worry, really accurately. And that there is a really great thing in its self, that you can put it into words so well because so many people struggle with themselves to pick apart and understand the core of their emotions. I say you are a step into recovering right there, so congratulations haha. I know a couple people, including myself who have or are suffering from thought patterns like that, and it really helps just to know that there are others out there (like you) who have dealt with the same thing, and it makes me feel more assurred to recover somehow. Not totally sure why though.

Very interesting! Very deep! I like that! You remind me of my best friend she is a thinker as well! Try this when you think something negative try to think of three things positive! Or what are your hobbies? Do something you love! You are very capivating with your words!

I completely understand that feeling. DOn’t ever hope for bad things. Trust me I have and or seeing bad things all the time. We don’t need anymore bad stuff. And with the law of averages if something bad happenes it will be extremely bad and I would never what that for you.

I understand the worry. I had that in college as well. There are alot of uncertainy at that time of life. I had a hard time dealling with it myself. What I leared is that all the worry, sleepless nights and stress of thinking about the what ifs of the future is not going to help or change anything. The best thing is to make goals and work to acheive those particular goals. Example: You want a good job join clubs and get good grades so your work will reflect on your transcript. It does sound like you have to much time on your hands. What is your major? Are you in any clubs? You need to start doing stuff. I got very involved in Campus Activities and other organization. I did so much that I barely had time to worry.

Your Welcome. That is a great degree. Glad you will take advantage of the great stuff on campus. You are going through a major life change and worry and concern happens in those times and most people go through this type of stuff. All will ok. You have a very bright future ahead. :)

I do think you will make the world a better place. In fact you are already making it a better place by being here and helping. :) :)

Well, I wish only the best for you Cosmic fool. I agree that the first step to recovery is acceptance. Truly, I worry a lot as well. But, I think if you tend to worry about things it show compassion and thought. However, for many, it can be a problem that needs to be resolved. As for the “be happy all the time” comment. I think that people assume that something is wrong with them if they have different moods. I really doubt that everyone is happy all of the time. I think it is healthy to experience different moods. Just my opinion. Good luck.

I just wanted to say thank you for your replies!

I think i said before i think its a matter of emotional intellegence where we dont let our emotions control our life, we use them more as Action signals. One example would be fear, if we are fearful we can look at this as a sign and see what we are fearfull of, we can then face our fear or do something constructive to avoid it. One good method i use to change my mood if there is a problem is spending 20% of my time on the problem and 80% of the time on the solution. This way you really learn to become solution orientated as apposed to worrying about a situation constantly. Try it, honestly it really works, solutions seem to come quicker and quicker after a while.
Im here to help and offer advise, if it works great, if it doesnt you are welcome to throw it away. I wish you all luck with your dreams.

Wow great post Cosmic :D love it. I use to worry all the time but now i dont any more because its a waste of my energy

Wow, I’m impressed. I don’t know what else I can say.

I hear you on the empathy thing.

i can totally relate to everything your saying and im really glad you took the time to write such detailed feelings down, because i like you, think too much and analyse too much. and reading certain moods and feelings being explained so close to my own gives me some great unexpected comfort.

i recently read a quote that said; life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain’ i think that makes a lot of sense, even though its way harder to do than to say.

anxiety surrounds everything if your like me and i do yoga, follow Buddhism, eat extraordinarily healthily and read self help books and see a psychiatrist, oh and im on pretty strong meds. lol
like honestly is there anything else i can do??

i dedicate a large portion of my thinking to helping other people and it is my ultimate goal to make a difference. So what i don’t get is, if im doing all this stuff your meant to do, to lessen the anxiety, distract yourself, why does it follow me everywhere?

its so easy for people to say let the thought go, but like really if it were as simple as siply dismissing the bad thoughts or whatever and letting pure happiness soak in then i think we would be doing that already.

i dont know, im so moody all the time, happy and excited, anxious and negative, gloomy, irritated, stressed, sleepy, all different things all the time. sometimes i think im right on track and very confident and i know myself very well and am proud of how considerate i am, other times i feel complely hopeless like i am the only one in my frame of mind and the world is a heartless place full of awful people who are materialistic, bitchy, shallow ect and i really just want out, i do not want to live if thats what the world has to offer. i just dont fit in, because im sensitive and i care. lol but even writing this my mood is changing and im thinking, oh no thats not true, it sunny outside and there are plenty of good ppl. maybe i am crazy

all i know is i can relate to the way your mind works and i think there are ppl like us here for a reason, sure its hard for us at times, but dont become like everyone else, who lets society distract them and lull them into a normal little existence. theres a reason we think deep and are compasionate, i really believe that.

and all the truly great people have usually stepped from circumstances of great hardship, or unique mental states.