life help: I don’t know if what I’m feeling is correct or not and I would really like to know if others think the same way or differently. - Help.com

I think you are totally in your right.

Honestly, how you tell the story I think they are ‘abusing their role as parent’.

You are an adult. You live your own life and are entitled to do so.

It is great that you have helped your parents, but they have no single right to expect anything.
I know this does not allign with a lot of other opinions, mainly religious ones (honour your father and mother) but it keeps you incapable of living your own life.

What they have to realise is that you love them but that you need your space.
And that you are not bothered by them personally (or at least that might be the way to bring it) but that you just need to be able to do your own thing.

The fact that they have given you life is by no means the same as the right to control your life.

Perhaps, to keep the peace, get them over for some holiday or something, but further, please choose for yourself in this as it will break you down eventually.

And they have each other, they’ll manage.

i totally agree with miskat. you’re doing the right thing.

Parents can be hard to deal with at times. However i think that you should let them know that you truly love them and are thankful for everything that they have done for you thus far. If they left on bad terms, that would not feel so good to you or them. It would probably even screw you’alls relationship up a lot.

Do you live in a house or an apartment? Maybe you can find something that is fairly close to your place and they can visit, since they like where you live so much.

Is there a money problem, that is stopping them from getting a place that they like? If so, you can help them look into getting public assistance.

i Believe in being easy on the parents because they did raise you, but i also believe in doing what makes you happy. Just know that you dont have to break their hearts in the process

Wow… tough situation. Generational differences, Family differences, Cultural differences… I can see where it would be hard to fit them all together. First you are your parents child… to them, you will always be their child. Of course they know you are an adult, and will treat you as one, as long as you demand it. Perhaps eventually they will treat you that way no matter what. My mother cannot treat any of her children as adults and we are all over or almost 40.

From generation to generation things have changed. When your parents were your age, so many things were not available to them. They have to learn so much. Who is going to teach them. You’ve been doing a great job of this, but understandable you can’t do it all. Continue to try to get them out to learn more… adult classes might be a way to go…

Culturally, America is one of the only cultures that does not keep family close (except for Native American’s) Most Latin and European cultures have 2 or 3 generations living under one roof.

So, I’m not telling you, you don’t already know. Are you wrong to do what you do? No. Are you right? No. There is no right or wrong here. There is only what serves everyone the best. If you cannot live with them and succeed, so be it… help them out. Perhaps you can keep them close, but again if that won’t work don’t. What is best here is a compromise with a win / win situation… talk to them, find one… it’s there.
Bright blessings ~ Richard

May I just say that it is not common for European cultures that more generations live under one roof?

This only partially applies to southern and eastern European countries and also there it is changing rapidly.

It is by far not a common thing (anymore) in western and northern Europe.

2 generations only applies to families with children or adolescents.
Everything else can be considered an exception.

I stand corrected I realized after I posted I should have said some Eastern European cultures… I know many that have come from Poland or Russia that are living here in the US that are dealing with this issue. Western society has gotten away from the collective. Ahhh yes… what a typo … should have been 3 sometimes 4.

thank you again for pointing out my mistakes.

We are eastern european.

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