hi..
been a while since i’ve been on here. i’m in trouble. i’m praying as much as i can to keep collected. but i wonder if even God is sick of me. no one could help me but me and i’m being cruel to myself, refusing to take any good action. i suck at trying even. and someone said maybe i’m not up for it this year, to finish this year at school. that would mean i have to repeat this whole year - semesters are not offered separartely and exams can’t be resitted. …and as much as i know one year extra won’t kill me possibly it almost will. if u can please imagine, try to understand bets you can, that not flunking at school means the woprld to me, more than u can possibly even imagine.. so i’m lost why i cannot seem to get myself to do work. i won’t do it - it;’s like i’m not gping to do it and i don’t want that but i’m not doing anything yet. even do little bit, small steps, not give up. but i sit and stare and build up hope until i can face the day but then don’t act. technically i haven’t goiven up, but practically i haven’t touched my assignments for over a month and exams are approaching. my dilemma right now is whether to do my laundry or try. i’ve been sitting at my desk almost all day and listened to music, prayed, read motivational stuff. prayed more. tried to maybe start reading but not done it. haven’t done my laundry for days so soon running out of clothes and my flatmates are beginning to notice i’m not pulling my weight in housework. seeing a psychologist and again i know all the depression signs, i’m eben on anti-depressants after a year of battle..nearly 2 years. well…i have no idea what help i can even ask for. so this is just me to testify that i’m sorry. i’m more sorry than anyone can possibly be for me. and because i’m alive and i belive with everything in my being God is here with me, i’m hanging on. not giving up. not now, not ever. never. thanks for reading. it’s ok. i’ll try not to lose it altogether. not goping to talk to anyone else than here and God. my psychologist is ok too. ok. i better go. please believe in miracles with me. i promise to come back one day and keep this site updated. hopefully with my success. that i have overcome mountains. mountains. yes, hope is good. action is crucial. so i hope i act better and well soon and to the end.
This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 233, 3, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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Since writing this post koala may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. koala is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 2 months and has 29 posts and 280 replies to their name.
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