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I have been seeing a girl I work with for about a week.
Yeah, only a week, but in that week we probably spent 14-15 hours just talking about anything and everything. I think we connected, I want to say I know we connected, but I want to be objective. We both have the same general interests. An uncanny musical similarity considering the odd styles. Similar views on politics, religion, and life in general. One night after eating dinner (nothing fancy, IHOP) I ask her if I can give her a kiss before she leaves. She approves and I promise to take still take her out on a “real” date. The next night while watching a movie (not in a theater) I try to give her another. She then says she isn’t really looking for a boyfriend. I ask, nicely, after a long pause, what we were doing. I was honestly confused. I wasn’t angry, or accusative. She said it’s not me, it’s her. She said she would leave if I wanted her to. Of course I didn’t want that. The movie went on for maybe another thirty minutes.
Apparently her last boyfriend was “an *******”. Cheated on her with her best friend after almost two years. She hasn’t talked to either of them, and some mutual friends, in over six months. I tell her I understand, I am disappointed because I really like her, but I get where she is coming from. I also said that I didn’t think it was my right to try and change how she felt in that. The conversation lasted over an hour, even though there might have been ten minutes of actual talking (lot’s of silence). She made a passing comment about maybe, but taking it slow. But I didn’t want to her to feel I was pushing for something she wasn’t ready for. The air upon leaving was one of, “You know how I feel, but I know where you are at.”
Two days later I called her, she didn’t answer, called me back about an hour later. I told her that regardless of the the situation, I respect how she feels, but would still like to be able to spend time with her because i think she is “really cool” (sounds dorky, I know, but it came out of my mouth). She sounded pleased and happy, not patronizing or uncomfortable. I said I’d see her at work in a couple days.
At work it was a little “weird”, but after a while I talked to her briefly about nothing important. Had a few brief words back and forth through the day, but no major conversations.
Anyway. My question is, do I continue in a similar manner as before? Do I still ask her out on a “real” date like I promised? Ask her to get with me lunch like I had been? Just keep trying to hang out until she decides she’s ready to consider it something else?
This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 205, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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