Love help: How can a person not take things too seriously or be on the defensive side? - Help.com

I know what you mean. But I feel like if I just live my life the way I know is right and be the best person I can be…when other people speak ignorantly or whatever…it’s just fine to know in my own mind what is right…or what my opinion is. If that person is truly wrong, they’ll find out eventually and feel stupid. ;)
Just let the way you live your life speak for itself…let that be your debate against the world.

everything in the entire world comes with
a million questions and some dont even have
answers. somethings are better left unsaid
and just let your imagination take over=]

Questioning life, finding fault. You are far from alone! Its part of my life too, part of who I am. A positive or negative trait? My answer depends on my mood, but generally questioning things means thinking about them deeply, and thinking about things deeply is a trait I admire.
If you don’t question life, you run the real risk of not getting what you want out of it!
You have a voice and your voice is heard here =)

As for a career. Debating is amazing; sharing views, discovering more about yourself and the world around you, and that all important high when your views are shared, now that is a great way to live! But it doesn’t have to be a career. There’s other places you can have your voice heard, while doing a job you love. You love animals, so anything to do with that would suit you well I am sure.
Debating can be more of a hobby, though of course any career you enjoy is a good one to go for.

Well I’ve read a lot of your responses and you write fine to me! :)

Loving what you do is a fantastic dream! You can never go wrong if you come *back* from work happy, when so many people today take job dissatisfaction as a sad fact of life. I find novels a great way of losing myself in fantasy worlds, its a great release from the pressures of life! And discussing them is a great idea, that you have the confidence to do in class is a really good thing =)

You are full of passion and so you will get far! Back to one of yuor original questions, people will tell you to take things less seriously because they themselves are afraid to question life as you do. Take it as a compliment! As for defensive, it isn’t defensive to have an opinion, its normal! Whatever normal is :P

Essence,

I personally belief that the moment you choose to follow your heart it is time to keep your eyes and ears open.

Even if you don’t know the destination yet.

I had a rough life but came out of it quite succesfully, while I am only 25.
Being my own employer I have a fair chance of running a very nice bigger business in a few years if I continue to do so.

But I have decided different. It is not what brings me passion.
It is not what moves me.

It is not horrible or wrong, I make people happy, but I don’t change lives.
This is a high goal, but it happens to be mine.

I can elaborate for hours on this and would be happy to do so, but I’d hijack the post and it would take a few hours to load the page. So let me be nice. =)

What I am currently noticing in my life, after I made the decision to follow my heart (a few months ago), life changes. Like never before. Practically things are quite the same, but on an emotional level it is totally different.

I have gotten strength again. Enthusiasm. Bliss. And I have no idea where I am going. I have some clues. It becomes more clear slowly. But I see 10 meters in front of me and where that path is taking me…? Yet, I do take it now.

Personally I think that when you make the decision to follow your heart something, call it God, universe, your own self, starts moving and make it’s way.
I listen very carefully too my gut feeling and that helps me.

I come across a post like this and it touches me, and we started talking for the first time about an hour ago. It inspires me again. Helps me a tiny bit.

And I can only hope my story inspires you a tiny bit as well.

Funny, I also see some resemblances.

I always stand by my grounds. When I make a bold statement I know you can’t get me turned around. I make sure I know my facts and that I know why I have a certain opinion. I have given courses in debating hahaha.

That does not mean though no one ever convinced me of something else, just not easily.

What you have to realise is that you allready are who you are.
All it takes is taking of the ribbon and present yourself to the world.
Next step is to rock that world! =)

And thank you in return for the exact same thing!

I say you are passionate because that is the impression your posts give me. The use of smileys as a portrayal of emotion (mainly positive which is always good!); the sharing of your thoughts and dreams; your use of the word “love” - to me it all screams a passionate person who obviously cares about what they are saying (or in this case typing)! Its an extremely usefull ally to have, passion. Its my friend! =)

And I agree about no-one being normal. In a world so vast and contrasting how can any one personality be considered the norm?!? That is crazy talk! Unless of course normal means unquestioning of the wonders of life and our world, and in that case, normal isn’t something I’d ever want to be!

now, this was some case of siamese posting! =)

Are you sure about that? :P

Looks like great minds don’t just think alike, they also post replies at the same time! I’d go for that! Heh.

Spot on about “you are who you are”, just gotta discover it first =)

You have my reply slightly wrong, I *love* your use of the word “love”! No pun intended =) Keep on using it!

Aww thank you very much, I am truly touched by your kindness. Made a fool very happy indeed! And I thought we were meant to help you on your post, not the other way! But both ways work for me =) If that made any sense :P

My profile tells me “Through helping others I discover myself” - this thread has made me really believe what I wrote!

…spreads love all around…
…add glitter…

“ooooh! shiny!”

…nevermind…

(sorry for the late respond, just survived a computer crash)

I think that you are a born teacher. If you want your voice to be heard, broadcast it to students because they will carry it with them to the farthest corners of the world.

Hey, who said anything about children? I am a grandmother who is taking classes at the local community college and I have been inspired by professors who speak their mind and challenge students of all ages to do the same. I hope that your brother shares your talents.

Teaching is a great profession for someone with passion! Its having passionate teachers that got me to where I am today academically, and helped me enjoy learning. I’l always respect them, even if many of my classmates tend to mistake their passion for madness! :P

As for taking things too seriously, I was previously a serial sufferer too! I analysed the smallest comments, usually picking out any negative bits and dwelling on them; and looked for undertones, often where there were none. I still do tend to take things people say at face value, rather than look for the lightness that they were intended to have, and it still can be a real problem.
But the whole fool comment(and indeed my name); I see that as proof I am getting better! I try really hard not to take myself too seriously, and this affects the way I see other things. In short, I take things in general less seriously! And it really has a positive effect, because it has made me much more lighthearted and less likely to tke things the wrong way.

Sure, there are a lot of situations where I am serious, this forum for example when I try to help others. Taking things seriously makes my response more sincere, and so I feel I can give better, more heartfelt advice. That is one major positive of those like us, because we naturally take things seriously! Its not all bad! =)

And change really is possible. I can’t really explain how, because for me something inside just changed one day, and I worked with it for a long time before getting to where I am now (which is still far from the finishing line). Its a case of changing the way you think. Best advice is to begin by taking yourself less seriously, and the rest will follow. Look for the lightness in peoples responses(and in yourself), and if the situation requires it (like when people say your too serious in a discussion), resort to the childish side we all have inside us and have a little fun!

Sorry for the mini essay, but I hope it helps! I see a lot of your personality in myself, and its much easier to go through things in life together =)

You have no talents? The way you word your responses, giving a good arguement and a clear message, I’d say that was a definate talent! Being able to help others too, there is no better talent than that. Those are things I’ve noticed from this board alone! Its easy to overlook your own talents, but believe me you have many! You just have to learn to see them.
Though in my experience that is the hardest thing. But you don’t have to do it on your own! I will always be here to point out your positives, in the hope you’ll see them too =)

Self discovery is a good goal to have, because when you know yourself you will know better what you want to do with life. As for creativity, that depends on how you view it. For me creativity can be many things; A great piece of art (maybe the most obvious example), a well thought out response, thinking “outside the box”, and asking questions of life, a creative way to try and understand it!
Its all well and good *wishing* you were different, whether that is smarter, or in my case more confident! But as long as you work hard with what you’ve *got*; for a start the talents I pointed out, and the wonderful passion I see in you, then you will accomplish everything you want too!
Knowledge is the key, but it can be learned, lost knowledge can be found. As long as you keep your passion for questioning and understanding life and things around you, the knowledge will come. You don’t have to be “smart” to be intelligent and get a lot out of life, just have to *want* to learn. Sounds to me like you are well on your way! =)

guys! stop it! =)

i am tired and want to write a long reply too but can’t even find the energy to read yours now!

…grmbl…

goes collecting energy and is back in a few…

Ok. Essence. I make a deal with you.

I am going to give you a long long respond now which I literally have to get out of my toes at the moment, but you, yes you, my dear Essence, you are taking part in Got Guts. Because I am convinced you have creativity. =)

what’s this post about? people too serious? defensive? NOT. nothing but a bunch of very wonderful, insightful, creative people on this post.

miskat wrote:
Ok. Essence. I make a deal with you.

I am going to give you a long long respond now which I literally have to get out of my toes at the moment, but you, yes you, my dear Essence, you are taking part in Got Guts. Because I am convinced you have creativity. =)

I have a reply of 939 words waiting for you…
What about your part of the deal? =)

Ok. Maybe it is a nice gesture to add some music as I give you quite the read. =)

One of the songs that inspire me the most, especiall when I feel down.

Released in 1999, the Chris Cunningham video was just in time to win the award for best musicvideo of the past century.

Perfect match of song and video.

Bjork - All Is Full Of Love

Original on YouTube.com

Why I am surprised to still be alive.

I am 25 now, but have had 1000 reasons not to be where I am today.

I have been sexually, verbally and physically abused by my father.
My mother used to hit me as well.

I was raised as a racist by a black father, I hated the colour of my skin.

I didn’t have one single hug in my childhood.
I have no pictures of what I looked like as a kid.
The oldest thing I own is about 3 years old. (except for funky vintage stuff, but you get the idea).

I was kicked out of the house when I was 13, because I am gay.
I was taught gay people had to be burned.

I have been through enormous amounts of therapy and counselling, but most didn’t seem to understand me.

I have been kicked out elsewhere because I was suicidal.
I lived somewhere where a guy of 17 put a gun on my head.

I am not dumb but had failure in school due to stress, barely managed to get a diploma.
I have been bullied up till I was 17. Was beaten up nearly daily.
I went to a school where I got a knife on my throat.

I turned 18 and had nothing anymore.
No help, no income, no study, no house, no friends. Just me and a few belongings.

I ran into one job from another.
I moved from one spot to the other.

I have had over 60 positions and projects I have been working on.
I moved over 40 times. (soon I can say over 50)

I was diagnosed with arthritis at 22.

I didn’t have real love until last year.
And this week I had to end my engagement because of his family issues.

This is a little bit of what happened too me. But this are the negative things.
And there is actually more, one of the biggest things I have not shared, but for now I choose not to do that.

Do not ever pity me.
I have forgiven everyone that has been at my path and they have been of value to my upbringing.
I don’t praise the events, but I do praise the outcome.

Without having the degrees I did have had my own youth organisation, I worked as a trainer and coach and have been able to be an advisor and coach to several governmental bodies. I got a chance to do projects in 5 other countries.

I have been performing. Wrote a piece and have had the bliss of 5 (out of 5) sold-out theatre nights. (though I must admit I knew over 50% of the people in the theatre, and it was a small one, but still).

I have been a PA in charge of large events.

I have been in business. Became a sales executive and later a salesmanager.
I have been in charge of a call centre department.

I have been hired by several multinationals.

I got sick of it all and started my own, not unsuccessful, biz, as wedding- and eventmanager. Which could grow to a respectable company if I desired so.

It allows me to also work as an interior and graphic designer and to use my passion for communication.

But I have decided otherwise.
Time to put my passion to the test. To live for that.
To do what I am meant to do.

I am moving abroad once again. Not sure yet what I do but I am working on things.
And it will be huge. Because I have the strength to do that.

How did I get where I am today?

Being stubborn. That probably has been the most important thing.
Even ignoring myself, as I have been through severe depressions.
I have been suicidal for years.

How did I find my passions? By trial and error.
And everywhere I found something that I for sure wanted or never wanted again.

Just doing stuff. Living life. Meeting people. Hear stories. Read. Visit museums. Go to lectures. Get drunk. Overcome fears. Get on a rollercoaster. Ask. Ask others about their passions. How they got where they are.

The garbage man has a much of a story as the prime minister, speak with everybody.

Seek debate. Discuss about everything and allow yourself to question your views.

Go clubbing for a week. Paint your walls neon green or pitch black.
Everything can be some inspiration and everything does not have to be taken seriously.

Enjoy life. And you will find your passions.
Be miserable and you find your strengths, but than enjoy life again.

I have no idea what is going to happen. I decided which country I wish to live in for at least a while.
But what I’ll do? Which city in end up in? Which people I will meet? What I will learn.
I have no clue, but I follow my heart and therefor it is the right thing to do.

But I am here. And I am not going anywhere, because I only laid the path for my future. Now it is time to start walking it. Or better, let me dance the entire way.

I am just as much or as less as everybody else.
I might have a bit more determination developed now, but we all have it within us.

It is the desire to be alive. The desire to follow your heart.

The decision that everything is possible.

(Please all, do realise this is the post of Essence, my overly long reply is meant as an inspiration, not as a topic for discussion or commenting)

Yes indeed Miskat, thank you for sharing. You have a beautiful perspective, worthy of great love.

Bright blessings ~ Richard

The old saying is so…..so…..so……true “don’t take life to serious, remember……no-one gets out alive.”
Christ is the only source of inner happiness. this is not a fair or kind life for many, my wish to all is peace,health happiness…… and lots of love.

essence! long time no see ;)
erm only thing i can think of doing is travelling
it really broadens your horizons and ways of thinkig, and helps u find answers to alot of ur questions.
i did that, i travelled to asia a couple of months ago, to rediscover my roots to help me carve my future, and it seriously helped :)
goodluck, i hope i can talk to you soon again!