anger help: Please read all of it even thought I know it’s long. - Help.com

Please read all of it even thought I know it’s long.

I have been dating my current boyfriend for almost a year and a half. If you meant him you would think that he is one of the nicest guys around, well I know his friends think that. But a lot of people don’t see this really dark side of him, and unlucky for me I see it a lot. When I do something that he doesn’t like, or I tell him my feelings, he gets really angry and flips out on me. He gets angry really easier and it’s hard to deal with. But the thing is whenever he gets angry he screams at me, and calls me names. He has called me every name you can think of, and he has told me to f*** off and said f*** you multi times. One time in his car he was screaming at me once we pulled into my drive way and he was scaring me, his eye balls were like popping out because he was so mad. And things that I do aren’t even bad. OH and he always tells me to shut up all the time like it’s part of our conversation. I never do anything bad to him, like I NEVER call him names, I never tell him to shut up and I def NEVER told him to f*** off or anything. I’m honestly not a rude person at all, especially to deserve this. The thing about all of this is, he calls me all of these name and later on like the next day when he’s not mad he tells me he doesn’t mean it. Like he tells me I’m a f***ing bi*** all the time but I’ve asked him if he really thinks that and he says no. That’s another name he calls me about everything single time he gets mad. He gets mad about the littlest things and takes it all out on me. After things like this happen, he acts like nothing has happened the next day. I’ve done him enough times that what he does is verbal abuse and that he needs to stop. Today he said f*** you and he said that if I would have left him alone I wouldn’t have heard it. I told him I should never hear that ever. He just doesn’t seem to even try to stop. He’s broke up with me at least two times when he was mad, and later on takes it back. After all of the stuff he has done to me I have never left him.

Today when he got mad at me he told me that he says stuff like this to me because he doesn’t want to be with me. And I told him that if he didn’t want to he should have just told me, not keep hurting me more and more. I don’t think he meant that though because he says a lot of things he doesn’t mean. I asked him he is still my boyfriend and he said “If you would leave me alone you’ll get your f***ing answer.” He is always rude like that but I am never rude at all so I don’t understand. Today I finally told him that he needs help and he refused to accept that. Well I think he knows he does but he told me he has tried it before but it didn’t work. I said to him “Even if I asked you to get help you wouldn’t?”, and he wouldn’t really answer me. I told him that he has serious angry problems and he pretty much said he isn’t going to do anything about it. Also anytime he gets mad he blames it on me and says “Well if you didn’t do ____then I wouldn’t have to call you names” ..or something like that. So it’s like it’s always my fault and it’s like I deserve it.

Now my problem is, I don’t even know if were still together. So I was wondering if he wants me back should I give in or just give up? Honestly I’m pretty much broken in the inside badly, and I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and I really don’t want to be without him. I was thinking about telling him that if he does this again, with the name calling and stuff then I am done. I have never told him I was done before so I don’t know if I could actually go through with that. I just want him to stop but I don’t know what it will take him to stop. I think I might tell him that if he cares about me as much as he tells me he does, then he will get help or he will lose me. While we were in the car I told him that he is going to push away everything he loves if he keeps acting this way. And he will lose me if he doesn’t change or stop hurting me like this. It’s almost too much to bare. Half the time I don’t even want to live because his words hurt so much and it’s like I can’t leave.

Any advice on how I can get him to change? I was thinking if I ask him about getting help when he’s not mad then maybe he’ll go for it but I don’t know.

This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 174, 4, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

name calling, relationship advice, abuse, anger (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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