life help: I am the 58 year old alcohlic father with a 15 year old daughter. - Help.com

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When you trust yourself, that is when you can earn your daughter’s trust back.

Well - which father to which daughter? I guess it doesnt matter.

Here’s the deal: your capacity to rebuild trust will be directly linked to your capacity to discipline yourself, and get better.
Your self-discipline - not just regarding drinking - but also regarding addressing and putting the reasons behind for that drinking - will probably have a lot to do with your success.

Good for you wanting to change things. Do you believe in God?

As a daughter myself I can tell you that she will come around. She just needs to see that you really mean it this time. She loves you. You sound like a wonderful, caring father to me. She’s only 15 so it shouldn’t take long (doesn’t it seem true that the older we get the longer it takes us to forgive someone?).

Just an idea for down the road, to help things grow.
When she does need someone be there, be there.
Start saving money. There will come a time when she truly needs something to fulfill her dreams, whether it will be college or something else and you can be there for her.
Perhaps there are other ideas along these lines, most not so grand, but bide your time, wait for the moment, get healthy and be careful do it right.

Are you Opal’s father?

she’s your pride and joy?
you mean, after alcohol and yourself for years, right?

in other words - prove it.

those are just words so long as you are indulging in your stuff.
i get addiction - believe me - and, also - love….is action.
you’re going to have to keep looking in the mirror with everything. further, when you consistently, over time, choose not just her but yourself over the poison, is when you can honestly say how much you love and how much pride and joy you get from her/being a dad.

sorry - but you can’t really say how much you love someone while you aren’t being responsible, that they are your pride and joy, behind alchohol.
Your commitment and words therein will show in your choices, your actions. sorry youre an addict. so am i. its tough. and, also, you can beat it if you really want to, stay fierce i hope you do.

Actually, I dont see the worry myself. 2truths,She loves you and you love her.A child loves their parents no matter what they do,I’ve seen it in the worst of situations.Thats not to say that ‘Like’ is there but the foundation of Love between a parent and a child cannot be broken.Even if there is an amount of hate,the love is still present.Congrats to you for seeking help but I’m a little concerned of your motives.Our loved ones can only be motivators in these situations,not the sole reason for recovery.Otherwise recovery will only be temporary and it places undue pressure on the other person.So I hope you want to overcome this for ‘YOU’ and you only.Its a time to be a little selfish and work on forgiving yourself,taking action to do what you can to establish a better relationship with her and learn to accept and like yourself as is.I applaud you for being a loving father,for reaching out and willing to do what it takes to save yourself and your relationship.And you should be proud of yourself as well.May God be with you and yours :D

I was reading Eric Clapton’s autobiography and he said something I think you will understand.

He said I wish I could say that my family is the most important thing in my life, but they are not, my sobriety is. If I do not put my sobriety first, then what good am I to them?

I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic. My father and I have a good relationship. We are taking my kids swimming at raccoon lake tomorrow. He was not there when I was growing up because of the alcohol. He has been in and out of rehab. What I know it that he is a good person with a bad problem. As long as you put your sobriety first, your daughter will see that too.

look remember one day at a time and you need to get back to that step. she might be a little angry right now but this will soon pass and the both of you will be able to work this out but you cant realy do anything right now untill you get back to the program and that is one day at a time and you need to strat living by that and your higher power. remember that your higher power will be there for you and you need to trust him. so worry about you first and you need to slove your problem first and get into your game plan and once you get your problem under controll than you can move onto the next. hang in there i know it is tuff but you can do it.

I have a female friend whose mother was emotionally unavailable because of alcoholism. It hurts when you are displaced by a bottle. So you are going to have to prove your commitment to her, one day at a time. Your daughter has a lot of anger, and that anger will always be roiling and boiling just below the surface, ready to erupt at the slightest pinprick. She knows she lost her father and the loving home she wanted because of the bottle. You can never make that up to her . . . but you can be there from now on. Write to her every day . . . every day! The day will come when she will be glad to have her father back! She just wants to make sure there are no more dashed hopes or broken promises. I wish you the best!