What to do with an unruly grandmother?
Our son is 10 months old and my boyfriend’s mom is a first-time grandma. She BEGS us to take him overnight and that’s all well and good, but we’ve found out that when she does, he cries all night the next night and we don’t get any sleep. (In case you’re wondering, my parents live 1300 miles away)
My job and school (I’m studying online for my Bachelor’s Degree) are suffering, let alone my relationship with my boyfriend……I had a ‘talkin to’ from my supervisor today about being habitually late due to lack of sleep from our son’s crying-the-night-after-grandma’s fits and my boyfriend and I argue all the time now. In fact, we USED to be engaged until recently and are going to attend our first couple’s counseling session next week - we’re working on our relationship, but this puts a huge strain on us…..
We’ve tried to confront her about this and put a kabash on the overnight and all day stays with her, but she seems stubborn to the idea and keeps hounding us about it. She wants to know WHY he cries the night after a stay and all we care about is it not happening again - he’s too young to tell us and we don’t want to bother with the ‘effect’, just eliminate the ’cause’.
Not to mention she TELLS us what to do with our free time and that she thinks we’re being bad parents when we drop him off at daycare if we have a day off during the week. When my boyfriend or I have a day off, more often than not we still drop him off at daycare - we figure we work hard and deserve a day off, plus we’re paying for daycare whether we have him there or not. Granted I am off Fridays, and while he’s at daycare I clean or do homework. My boyfriend usually plays Playstation all day when he has the day off….that is something his mom went nuts about especially! Can’t we do with our free time as we see fit?
It’s as though she doesn’t respect us as adults and parents and keeps questioning our decisions, saying stuff like ‘you should do this’ or ‘when I was raising Tony I did this’…..ugh!!! We don’t cave in and we stand our ground, but how can we all get along and have a happy baby as the result? (not to mention happy, gainfully employed parents that get along because they get some darn sleep!!)
HELP!!!
For the record: I’m 29 turning 30 in Sept and my boyfriend is 33….
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