friends help: okay, ive dont the worst thing a friends could do to someone. - Help.com

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.

Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

Tell her exactly like you told us. Friendship is built on honesty and trust. If you can’t do that, it’s no longer a real friendship - it will always feel hollow to you. Tell her the truth. You didn’t know they were serious, and you made a mistake. She very well may forgive you. But if she doesn’t, better to find out than carry on a fake friendship with a great big lie in the middle of it.

thank you for replying, n ****** i know thats the right thing to do but im a coward. she wouldnt take it lightly. you see, this happened a week ago n last night i went to her house n there were roses from the guy for her saying sorry for everything ill miss you! i told her i didnt know they were so serious but she ranted n ranted all night. i feel if i waited this long she wouldnt speak to me. its also hard because i just moved back to town n have so little friends already i cant afford to loose another. i know this is my fault but i can already see this getting uglier. im just waiting

They’re still serious?? But you said your friends EX interest.

no they are over. but she is still dealing with him. i thought they hooked up once or twice as in kissed wor whatever n last night i found out she met his family and they slept together…

so yes ex but still in the picture

I’m confused by your multiple personalities on this thread (both faith-peace-love and paigeverduzc). But anyway, it still holds true that, even though it will be hard to do, building a friendship on this lie just won’t give you the satisfying friendship you want. It’s not easy to face up to our mistakes, but you need to on this one. And if she walks, so be it. Better than a fake friendship. And besides, what if she found out about it from someone else? (Which she probably will) That will CERTAINLY devastate the friendship. At least by telling her the truth yourself, you have a chance to salvage it.

ignore that, this is my first time on here cuz im so stressed about the situation i had to google what i should do…i dont know ive done so much thinking n i guess its the right thing but how will she feel after ive kept my mouth shut n listened to her? or how do i word the fact the slept with the guy she has been obsessing about for the past two days????

You say something like this, “I have something serious to tell you, and it’s been bothering me for days. I was afraid to tell you but I’ve mustered up my courage so here goes - I got wasted on my birthday and made a horrible mistake. I slept with your ex. I didn’t know at the time that you two were close at all anymore. I’m so sorry and the guilt has been eating me up. If I’d known you two still had feelings for each other I never would have even been alone in the same room with him. I know you must be mad at me, but I’m hoping you can find a way to forgive me”.

ahhhh this is so scary because you are actually convincing me to do the right thing! but thank you so much i think i just need to…thank you

another thing? where and when do you think i should tell her?

You’re welcome and I know it’s scary :(
Sometimes in life we have to do that thing which makes every fiber of our being scream “NO DON’T DO IT! NONONONO!”. It’s tough being an adult (which I consider you to be at 17), but I am proud of you for knowing down inside all along that this is the right thing to do. You’re one of the good people, and for that you’ll be rewarded with many great friendships throughout your life :)

Well probably in her own home if you can, in her comfort zone.

okay, its just really hard beacuse i know her mom and sister and it will be difficult facing them afterward

Yes, it’s going to be tough. But you’d have to face them eventually anyway. When we make big mistakes, we have to face up to them. That’s really the only way to cleanse ourselves of them. You’re a really good person, you just made a mistake. And it wasn’t like you did it maliciously, you didn’t know it would hurt her when you did it. If you didn’t care about her friendship, telling her yourself wouldn’t matter so much. She may not forgive you, but if there’s any hope of keeping her friendship, this is the only way. I’d forgive my friend if she confessed it to me. I bet you would too. It’s not like they’re a couple. So we’ll keep our fingers crossed.
Although it would be a LOT easier on you to tell her through a letter or email, telling her face to face is the best way since you want to try to keep her as a friend - it’s the most respectful to her and has the best chance of forgiveness.

i just told the guy i was going to tell her n he is telling me not too…but i cant trust that 5 months from now he wont slip

Oh dear, now it will be a race to tell her first. Because he will rather she heard it from him instead of you.

****

whats my excuse that i was drunk?

there’s always the other part…deny deny deny

haha not…?

Sorry, I was afk for a while. You’re logged off as I write this, but when you come back on feel free to shout me if you want to talk about this more.

Tell her that you didn’t know but you did it and you regret it.

so you guys are sying to tell her? cuz i just talked to the guy n he said he doesnt care if i tell but would suggest i shouldnt if i dont want my whole rep to be ruined. he also advised if some how it ever did get out i should just deny. so coming from the one person who could leak the information, im started to thinkmaybe its not the right thing, but the smarter thing to do…for now anyways