So what’s ‘normal’ for a friend?
As some of you may know, it took me a long time to get friends. I love it, but I sometimes still wonder at how to behave in certain situations. Today, I found myself spending at least an hour wondering what to do. Let me explain the situation. Yesterday evening I went to a barbecue where I knew some people and I didn'’t know others. One of my best friends twisted his ankle during a friendly basketball game. I helped him to a table, we arranged for some ice to be put on it and someone with a car to drive him home. Because he lives alone, I asked him whether or not he would be allright. He had had plans to go out tonight, but said he would have to cancel them (obviously, since he shouldn’t walk on the leg for at least a few days). He has a girlfriend, so I asked if she would be coming by. Since he said no, I offered to get him groceries or something, he only had to ask. At first he politely said it wasn’t necessary, but when I said I didn’t have anything to do today anyway, he said he would call if he needed anything.
Now today, I keep wondering whether or not he needs my help, if I could help him. I started out thinking he would probably call. Then I started thinking he may not want to impose. Then I thought I’d call him. For some reason, probably my lingering fear of phone calls, I decided against it and went into town to do some grocery shopping for myself. After all, if he needed help he’d call his girlfriend, or if she wasn’t available all weekend one of his other friends or me, right? But then I thought I’d just stop by, tell him I was going grocery shopping and wouldn’t mind bringing him something. Half way to his house, I imagined all kinds of reasons why that was a bad idea: he'’d have to get up to open the door for me, while he didn’t really need anything. He might even have to put on clothes especially to come to the door. Or his girlfriend could be there (I make sure I’m home when my own boyfriend is hurt, so why shouldn'’t she come to visit him?)and I wouldn'’t be necessary. So I turned around again and did part of my groceries. Since my bag was full and the peak shopping hour was coming up, I returned home. Now I have to get out another time to finish buying supplies for the weekend. And when I came home I was determined to give him a ring beforehand, ask him how he was doing and whether or not he needed anything. But now I’m having second thoughts again. I don’t want to act as if he is incapable of looking after himself, I don’t know what’s normal to do in a situation like this. He’s not my best friend and I’m not his, but we see each other about every week and I am the one who knows he’s hurt. So, any advice anyone? (Besides to quit thinking so much, that’s something I’ve been trying unsuccesfully my whole life..)
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pseudoniem changed the tags on this post: they were "friends, Ice, Door, Week, reason, Day, Hour, Thought, shopping, ring, friendship, helping hand" 1 year, 4 months ago.
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