Family help: How do I deal with my grandkid-desperate parents?

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How do I deal with my grandkid-desperate parents?

Ever since I was young, I’ve known that I would make an awful parent, and I just do not enjoy children, or watching over them. I’ve been married for five years to a wonderful man who also has no desire to become a parent. My parents have had a hard time accepting the fact that I will not make them into grandparents, and they’re getting rather irritating about it.

They’re always nagging me about how I’m going to kill off the family name, how I’m going to ‘regret’ it when I’m old, how I ‘owe’ them the joys of being grandparents. I have two other siblings, but both have mental and physical disorders that prevent them from being capable of parenting or conceiving. So I’m kind of the only one able to have children, and thus all the pressure is placed on me. I’m sorry that they feel so let down, but I’m not giving up my own happiness and health just to appease my parents.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with them when they start giving us flack for not wanting to have kids? I don’t want to push my parents away, but I also don’t want to visit or spend time with them if this is the way they’re going to act.

This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 113, 8, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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Child, Parent, Grandparent, act, Deal, Family name, marriage, happiness, Family, man (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Deąth 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (27 minutes after post)

just go find some girl online aand solve there problems, then live ur life.

Help me with: just when i think its getting better…

littlenick 158 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (29 minutes after post)

Sounds like you are in a tough situation!

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quirkycurl #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (38 minutes after post)

death21494 wrote:
just go find some girl online aand solve there problems, then live ur life.

The only problem with that is that they want me to have the kid, not someone they aren’t related to. :P

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littlenick 158 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (39 minutes after post)

Just a question: Don’t you think you might regret not having kids yourself?

Help me with: How to Get a Job

quirkycurl #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (46 minutes after post)

littlenick wrote:
Just a question: Don’t you think you might regret not having kids yourself?

No way. I am not fond of children in the slightest, and I can tell you right now I would be an absolutely abhorrent parent. I haven’t a maternal bone in my body, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. I’m living a very accomplished and successful life, and have no reason to regret any choices I make(or…don’t make in this case I guess)

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staabis 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (3 hours, 49 minutes after post)

“A very accomplished life” That implies decisions made, worked at and followed through. It also implies that this question is beneath you. When tough choices are presented to you, you do not turn from them, you face them and proceed.
This is YOUR life. They must realize this and get on with their own lives. And YOU can make it happen.

“Mom, Dad, I am not interested in and am not going to have any children. It is my life and my decision. You can accept that or not, that is your choice. Mine is to not have any children. If you can’t accept that and drop the subject forever you don’t have to continue our relationship. If you can accept it you have my undying gratitude and love.”

Notice, no mixed metaphors, no whinging and whining, no alternate choices or possible misconceptions. Straight out truth and straight to the point. No possible chance of them misconstruing your words.
This is how you handle your working life and, at times, how you must handle your personal life.
If your parents are like most, they will be miffed and, probably, storm off. Later, they will think about it and admit to your choices so that they can stay in your life. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it works.

One other point. The more they push, the more you dig your heels in. Not right now becomes not a flippin chance.
My ex wanted nothing to do with children, only babysat if she couldn’t get out of it. When we got married she didn’t want children but didn’t believe in birth control of ANY kind. GUESS WHAT! Pregnant. Guess what else. She discovered she liked kids after all. At least her own.

Never/not ever is a long, long time.

Think about it.
jim

Dragon_Lady 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (6 hours, 19 minutes after post)

Yes; I agree with Jim. But do consider you might like your own children much better than someone else’s. And if you’re just terrified of childbirth, don’t be.

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Left 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (9 hours, 20 minutes after post)

You are just going to have to ignore this fault of thier’s. They won’t stop.

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How do I deal with my grandkid-desperate parents?

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