friends help: I do not understand women. - Help.com

I do not understand women.

There is this girl I had this crush on for months. I never did anything about it because I’m very focused on my career, I did not want to get distracted, and I met her just once.

Then one day, when coming back to my apartment building (we live in the same building) she was sitting outside with a common friend. We starting chatting, and the common friend unexpectedly “left”. I got the feeling we were being setup. (This friend later on told me that she wa trying to set us up and the girl seemed interested in guys like me).

I didn’t have any expectations or anything, I just thought its nice to get to know people better, so I asked her whether she she had plans and we went out. Nothing happened, but I thought she had fun.

The next day, we bumped into each other. She seemed really happy to see me. I asked her whether she would like to go out for drinks with me and a friend. She said she already made plans. Surprisingly, later that night, her plans didnt work out so she joined me and friends for drinks. She seemed happy too. Nothing else happened that night.

Then a couple of days later I called her and asked her whether she would like to go for an event (which a lot of people go to see). She said yes, and she seemed like she had a really good time. I thought we had chemistry too. I didnt say or do anything as I wasnt in a hurry or anything, and she seemed really nice.

The next day, I went to her apartment and I kissed her on the cheek and said that I haven’t known her long but I really like her. She said she wanted to take it slow. So I said - “That’s great. really”. And I left. At least she didnt say she didnt like me or wasnt interested right?

I wasn’t sure If I misunderstood her or whether she was upset. A couple of days later I called her to see if she wanted to go for another event. She seemed really happy to speak with me - and we talked for a long time, till pretty late.

The event was a couple of weeks away, and I didnt see her for a few days as we’re both pretty busy. The a few days ago I called her to see if she wanted to go for another event. She said yes and we went out. I got her flowers - but the moment I gave them to her I got the impression that she didnt have feelings for me. I didnt mind. We went out - she seemed like she was having a good time. We were heading back, I said some nice things, and then I kissed her on the cheek - she seemed really happy - she didnt say anything though. Earlier that week I had put flowers in her mailbox and a small gift I thought she would like. I dont think she had seen it yet. When we got back to our building she checked her mail and she seemed really touched. She seemed on the verge of getting emotional. But she didnt say anything. We got lunch and then she went back to work and I went back to work too.

I didnt see her for a day, but I dropped in later , and I felt a little awkward when i kissed her when we met. We talked for a long time about all sorts of random stuff and she seemed really happy. Then there was this quiet moment, so I kissed her gently and all of a sudden she tells me - ” I don’t want to lead you on. I’m not interested in a relationship right now”. That killed the conversation a bit, and I left shortly after. We didnt talk about it for the next five minutes while I was there - we made other conversation but she didnt make eye contact after that.

I just dont understand. Why wouldn’t she say anything earlier? This whole series of events happened within a couple of weeks. Her friend told me that the girl asked her to set her up with one of her friends (meaning me) - so I just dont understand this at all. It makes sense to me that she wouldnt want to get involved with anyone - she’s really busy - but why any of this then?

This open post was written 3 months ago | V/U/S: 175, 24, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

friends, mail, Flower, set, Week, girl, Day, building, cheek, drink (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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