Love help: Happy vs Unhappy

anothernikki

Happy vs Unhappy

Some people are just inherently unhappy people. And nothing will ever satisfy them, and there is nothing anyone can do to help them. My heart honestly aches for them because I know that feeling all too well.

I’d like to think I’ve climbed up from and am still climbing away from being in that place. But being there for so long, I can finally recognize it from the outside. (I was married to one of those “perpetual victims” for a long time. You know the type; the entire world exists simply to screw them over.) Either way, seeing it more clearly…. It’s so weird and it’s just painful to see.

If you’ve never been there it’s terribly hard to understand, and so easy to just say “get over it already.” But some people just enjoy being unhappy, and until they find it on their own, there’s really not much you can do.

I knew all along I was one of those people for a long, long time. I didn’t i>want /i> to be unhappy, but I sure didn’t do much to change it. I stayed in that ever comfortable rut. It was what I knew, it was all I knew. But now that I’ve climbed out, I want to keep shouting at the people still down there, “Get up!!! Holy **** it’s nice up here!! Seriously, you gotta check this out!” My soul aches for these people.

This closed post was written 4 years, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 2,959, 16, 7 | Edit Post | Report Post

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Since writing this post anothernikki may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. anothernikki is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 10 months and has 61 posts and 2,332 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

sadness, Soul, hurt, happiness, heart, Being There, world, Love, unhappy, depression (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (16)

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HelpBot 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 4 years, 10 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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anothernikki changed the tags on this post: they were "marriage, Soul, Screw, happiness, heart, Being There, world, Find, holiness, Wyrd" 4 years, 10 months ago.

Help me with: Hey all

BlindOptimism 1 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 10 months ago (3 minutes after post)

helping someone isn’t about finding the answer for them. its about supporting them as they find their own answer :)

/fortunecookie

(2)

babysittingthekids #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 10 months ago (10 minutes after post)

wow. wherever you live, your fortune cookies are better than ours.
‘make peace with yourself before you make peace with others’

This account has been deactivated.

anothernikki 4 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 10 months ago (13 minutes after post)

BlindOptimism wrote:
helping someone isn’t about finding the answer for them. its about supporting them as they find their own answer :)

/fortunecookie

Exactly my point! :) Thank you.

Help me with: Hey all

Cosmic Fool 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 10 months ago (14 minutes after post)

Agreed with you 100%. I’m quoting myself here but it is extremely satisfying to feel depressed. Empathising with the worlds pain, feel its hurt.

I slip in and out, but like you I feel I am climbing. You cna guide people, but if they are truly “happy” to be miserable, your right, they need to change for themselves. If they choose not to, its a case of being there and offering a shoulder when needed.

Help me with: Depression

Anonymous #
4 years, 10 months ago (4 hours, 14 minutes after post)

I don’t like being unhappy, but I know I am.

I would love to climb out but I have no idea how.

This reply has been removed.

Anonymous #
4 years, 10 months ago (21 hours, 24 minutes after post)

I’m still in that rut, unfortunately. I have some moments where I jump up and see the light, but then I just fall right back down. I wish I could be happy… At least it’s good to know that some people have escaped.

anothernikki 4 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 10 months ago (22 hours, 20 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
I’m still in that rut, unfortunately. I have some moments where I jump up and see the light, but then I just fall right back down. I wish I could be happy… At least it’s good to know that some people have escaped.

Yeah I’m kinda slipping back down there myself.

Help me with: Hey all

apples 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 10 months ago (2 days, 8 hours after post)

This is life. Your unhappy sometimes, and your happy other times. Life is meant to be like an exam right? Just think back to when you were doing exams at school, some questions would make you smile at just how easy they were, and others would make you want to stab yourself with a screwdriver and you would feel like a failure. But then you would get another ‘easy question’ and you would be ok. :)

Help me with: Waiting, contemplating, debating, this is frustrating.

4life4 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 9 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

I need help with this, I just got back from vegas and had the time of my life, but now it’s over, just a fading memory now, like it never even happened. I can’t seem to ride on the excitement of those memories for very long because i’ve been unhappy the majority of my life.

This account has been deactivated.

Cosmic Fool 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 8 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

I believe you only harbour unhappy memories until they are resolved in your own mind, and you learn something from them. Once you’ve accepted them, they stop causing misery in the present.

So I’d suggest, look back, and think; What did the unhappy days teach you?
Even if its only that you want happiness, then that is a lesson learnt.

Then look at the memories of Vegas. What made you happy? It is likely things you can replicate now. You mention excitement. Well what else excites you? Whether it be books, running, exploring, cycling, films, anything. You can do those things, and reward yourself. Give yourself happy memories to remind you happiness is acheivable.

Letting go of the past isn’t easy, but it is extremely rewarding, and if you learn from the past, it makes for a brighter future.

Help me with: Depression

*Dougie* 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 8 months ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

I think a lot of us are in that rut!
I wake feeling unhappy most mornings…
But once I get up i find myself some reasons to be awake and to be alive… even for just that day… once I’m moving and doing things… I feel better :)