The face cream of destiny…
It’s fair to say that I am not a metrosexual, nor am I a homosexual in case you were wondering. I take care of myself but I’m not fancy about it. I use conditioner and product in my hair, I wear contact lenses so no one can tell that I need glasses, and my teeth are in **** good shape; but equally I sit in my pants covered in barbeque sauce drinking beer whilst listening to Metallica. Oh yeah, I’m all man but I often smell good. It’s the best of both worlds.
My one big annoyance however is that I get a few minor, yet unsightly blemishes on my forehead. I think I have an oily T-zone or something (umm, I read about it in a women’s magazine I had used to stop some bleeding after fighting a wolf). Anyway, I stumbled across a serum of sorts during my travels in Colombia which has really helped. I was on a coach bound for Sante Fe de Antioquia with my wife and her family. We had stopped here and there to let on a few guys who try and sell their wares to the passengers when we took on a guy with an amazing sales pitch. Now, I don’t speak much Spanish but his spiel was enthralling, yet it was his demonstration of his product that impressed. He took from his bag a small vile of iodine and a white handkerchief. He dropped a few big drops of the stuff on to the fabric and rubbed it in. It was at this point that he took from his bag a small pot with a white cream inside. He proceeded to remove a small amount from the pot and began to knead it in to stain. Miraculously it disappeared, around about the same time as my cynicism. My wife and I bought a few pots of the stuff, and it transpires it is an all purpose cream called ‘Concha De Nacar’. Amongst other things and the promise that it will remove stains, it also claims to make cellulite disappear, shrink freckles and moles and most importantly makes skin spot free…and it works! A little rubbed on to my skin after washing my face at night leaves my face feeling smooth and clear…err, I wash my face with the tears of people I’ve beaten at arm wrestling by the way. And bricks. They’re good exfoliators.
Anyway, the problem I have now is that we’re running low. There was so much of it that two pots had lasted us the whole year, but we’re getting to a point where we need more. Has anyone heard of it before or knows where we can hold of more? I’m not sure even if we went back to Colombia that we’d find this guy again. And it was a consideration!
Come on man! Help me out will ya! I need my fix!
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