Year help: My boyfriend of 4 years and I have been having problems for the last two years and I have tried to work through them until this. - Help.com

Stake your boundaries. Tell him if he does it again, then you will leave. If you catch him doing it again, be assertive, because if it brings back bad memories and emotions there is no reason at all that you should have to put up with it, especially from someone you love. If you don’t want to break up and think there is still something to salvage in this relationship, have him sleep somewhere else/sleep somewhere else yourself and tell him that the arrangements will stay that way until he thinks about what he’s doing and how it’s making you feel. Also, think about the relationship yourself. Do you really want to stay with him if all he seems to want from you is sex? Are you really in a good, flowering relationship that will actually come to something?

its wrong what hes doing i would try to talk to him again i mean youve been together for sometime and if sex is the problem then you should tell him mebbe he needs to do something different. im sorry i cant be more helpful

You need to go to a sexual therapist to resolve your issues of intimacy! If he does not satisfy you, you need to tell him that and maybe what to do so he satisfies you. But, honey we all have needs! Some men have more needs than others and you have to realize that!

Thank you all for replying. I understand he has needs and some have more needs than others, I have tried to provide for his needs and I guess I feel it’s all about him and he isn’t taking into consideration my needs. When this all began We had sex on a Sat. then on Tuesday I had surgery so no sex for 2-6 weeks. I could maybe understand a little better if this had gone on any other time but why now, and why this. I have told him he should leave and move on but he refuses. I have seen a therapist and really worked through my issues. I have tried to get him to see a doctor and a therapist he won’t go. I am tired of always being the one stressing and struggling to fix our problems we are supposed to be in a relationship. I have talked him through different things and nothing seems to work and I keep telling him it’s not fair for him to want to bother me ALL the time for his own personal gain if I’m getting nothing back. You all have to understand I have put up with alot and went against everyone to try and make this relationship work but it’s taking a toll on me, mind body and soul. I want to leave but I have 3 kids and if he leaves, I loose the little financial support he provides (kids are not his) and he’ll take my only means of transportation to spite me, and there is nothing I can legally do. I’m stuck and it’s not getting better! I’m currently looking for another job so I won’t have to depend on him, but he sabatogies everything I try to do, work, loose weight, & have friends. It’s all a ploy to leave him. I just don’t know what to do.

cant even list how many things are screamingly WRONG here!! dump him! he is playing on what he thinks are you weaknesses ( finances no work etc) and exploiting them! he sounds like a complete control freak and now he is trying to dominate you sexually. sex happens between 2 people that love and TRUST each other. i agree that we all have needs but if he feels the need to violate you in a way that you are not comfortable with and have not consented to then that is wrong. SO WRONG!!!

quote me on this - you dont know how strong you are until you have to be. have faith in yourself and your ability to see a bad situation when it arises.

good luck darling xxx

Thanks everyone, ithink I am ready to move on.