Wow interesting question. Remember though the quote/proverb from Margaret Wolfe Hungerford “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
Ask a stranger on the street who has no reason to tell you otherwise. Post a picture of yourself online, and invite others to see it and tell you what they think of this “random person”.
But here’s a simple question. Why would you worry about it. Look in the mirror. If there is something you would like to change, change it. If not, then know you are beautiful (or egotistical).
I want to know because I have been told certain things, and I don’t agree.
People sometimes say kind things to make you feel better, but I don’t want to be lied to just for pity.
“Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” as a person maybe very attrative to me, but you would not think so.
Having said that, physical looks is not always determining factor. I’ve gone out with some very beautiful women and before the night was over, they did not look near as good. And of course, the oppose is true as before the night was over, what was not beautiful, became beautiful.
So, there is someone for all of us. Just pick the right one based on more things than looks. After all, when we grow old, looks will not be a priority.
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Very true and I do understand it, but I am starting to take stock and dont seem to be in touch with reality as much as I thought. So any comments are welcome.
Number one, no more wine! Secondly your link doesn’t work.
Lastly you’re only ugly if you believe so or act so.
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it does not seem to work in Firefox
I often feel the same, I say to myself my family is the only people who say I’m cute…I hate the word cute, I want to be beautiful. I think to myself, they are saying that to be nice. You need to do what I do and say no, I’m beautiful inside and out. If you think you’re ugly then you’ll be ugly for having low self esteem is a very ugly thing.
Saying this while married, you’re not ugly in my eyes.
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Beautiful comes from inside. When we are 75 years old, those looks will NOT matter. Only your sweet spirit will count.
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Did you take those other pic’s, if so you are a true artist and you have a wonderful eye. It’s what you do that makes you beautiful and art and photography is way cool!
I like you hair!
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“I don’t want to be lied to just for pity.”
I’m not going to lie to you. It may not be the right thing to do, but I’m brutally honest.
You’re not going to win any “Most elegible bachlor” awards any time soon. However, you’re face is unique. I actually found it compelling. You can see sadness in your eyes, and it’s very human. I wouldn’t be surprised if those close to you say they can read you through your eyes.
For example, Robert DeNiro is NOT a handsome man. In fact, he’s pretty ugly. But the way his anger and emotion run through his face make him seem familiar. Everyone can associate with it. The fact that I can see more in your eyes than just my reflection makes me more inclined to trust you. And all love, whether romantic or familial, starts with trust.
Sincerely,
Dan
You look European.
I’m polish, what are you?
Oh and another thing, why do you care what people think anywho?
Do you want validation if so I know how you feel.
Dan you look either french or german????
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lol, way off. I’m full-blooded Ukrainian. :-)
Thank you for your kind words. I am proudly South African.
I don’t really care too much how I look but I just need a true and undistorted starting point. The reason I am asking is because I have lost touch with reality very early on in life. I can tell you my history but I will save it for another day if anyone is interested. I have very low selfesteem and a distorted self-image and think I am ugly as dog vomit. I cant accept compliments ever. People are trying to help me and tell me I am not ugly but I don’t trust people when they say things like that. I have sacrificed my own happiness to serve others all my life and never thought that I deserved happiness. I am starting to wake up to life now at the age of 29.
Whoa! It’s the light hair and light eyes???? Sorry, I suck at guessing!
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Ok, you can be hot, hot, hot and have low self esteem, it’s not how you look it’s how you feel about yourself. With me personally it’s failure and loss of control. Did you not accomplish the goals you set? It’s deeper then looks, may I ask if you were treated badly has a child? I agree with you, and know how you feel. I may be hot but I feel ugly inside therefore I as well do not take compliments. I always think people are messing with me. I have to hear I’m pretty daily to believe. You’re the same, I can tell. Look inside of yourself and find the real reason you feel ugly. It’s not your face or body that’s pure illusion. Every time someone says you’re great, cute, nice, talented…say thank you. You’ll train yourself into knowing it’s true and taking those complements.
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I accomplished some goals and want to do a lot more. But I felt let down by my wife who did not share the same enthusiasm about wanting to improve our standard of living. My wife is a bit if a couch potato and never completes anything she starts. I find myself dissatisfied with the things she deems as good enough. ie. A badly painted room. Poorly made clothes. etc. A no care attitude. She never took any pride in her apearance either. I’m am not trying to sound shallow here now, but I am sure most woman put on make up at least sometimes right? To sum it up she never made the effort for me or respected my needs as a man, and I feel disrespected by it. Worse, I never knew that those were things I could expect of her…. Please tell me if it sounds too sexist. I may have used the wrong wording. I assure you that I have been a perfect gentlemen to her up to this point.
“My wife is a bit if a couch potato and never completes anything she starts.” That doesn’t have to be you.
“She never took any pride in her appearance either.” again, that doesn’t have to be you, you’re making excuses to be lazy. Take care of yourself and care about yourself and soon you’ll find her starting to care.
Ok women must realize that men are visual sexual creatures and if you don’t try they lose attraction. Very simple. Women need to serve there husbands, the women that don’t come from a very hurtful family as we can see here. She brings you down because she is not doing what women are supposed to do in a marriage. You will have to demand this from her in two ways. 1) do it first 2) tell her and put you foot down and aspect the respect. My husband has made it clear that I must be showered, make up, hair, dressed before he leaves the house. I respect him because he is my husband. She needs to do the same if you’re asking.
When I say lazy, I don’t mean you sit all day I mean you’re being lazy in your relationship and you need to step up and make change happen.
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In my family, we do not put demands on each other. We respect each other’s space. BUT, everyone has a different view and their views should ALWAYS be respected.
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I have tried to motivate her by example for a few years, but got discouraged by her attitude. I then spoke to her about it over the course of 12 years but she would never keep to it. Only when our marriage reached breaking point did she start making a real effort, but I feel its too late.
Queen Elizabeth, yes I took those other pics too. I love photography and hope to be able to spend some more time doing it. Thank you, I am glad you like it :)
Dan DeColumna I really liked your answer, thanks :)
No prob. I just wrote how I felt. I’m glad you liked it.
Sincerely,
Dan :-)
My husband takes pic’s to, my walls are filled with his work..I love that type of stuff.
Ok, back to topic! Keep caring, go get a hair cut, buy some new tops. Buy her some new stuff and offer to pay for her hair and some new makeup! Encourage yourself and her to care to look cute! You need to go shopping, you look single! Ok my husbands says “I’m married” with his cute pink shirt!
I don’t see you in pink so try some cute light blue ones to start!
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Maybe I’m just young, but pink and light blue on a guy says flamboyantly gay to me. Not that there’s a problem with being gay, but I’m not sure that’s how you want to be percieved. However, things may be different in South Africa. I only know that, unfortunately, some people here wouldn’t brake for a man wearing a hot pink shirt.
Dan
LOL, “people here wouldn’t brake for a man wearing a hot pink shirt”
I am very shy about getting new clothes or anything colourful because I don’t want to attract attention to myself. I always wear things that are generally “comfortable” and not very bright cheery. I do appreciate the advice and think it is definitely time for a haircut.
It business attire Dan! The CEO at the bank…so cute!
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Ok fine, get some nice tee shirts that are black or gray, you can have style with looking like a banker. Tuck your shirt in and get some new tennis shoes or boots. Cut yuo hair short and your set to go!
Do yuo really want to cut it because if you don’t then don’t do what others tell you to.
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Hmmm…. I think the next time I show up to work wearing a pink sweater will be the last time I show up to work at all(I work in a distillery, I know, I know, I’m 18. That just means I can’t drink, it doesn’t mean I can’t work there). As for wearing flashy clothes. That’s fine. Heck, I wear tie die half the time.
Smile,
Dan
You need people to pay attention to you, that’s the only way you’ll learn to take compliments.
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Well, I gotta go to class, so best of luck to you Itikia, or should I say Andy, and wish me luck in my Chem exam!
Ciao,
Dan
See pink!
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My husband looks very happy there!
hahaha, he was not forced to wear this…I swear!
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Good luck Dan, and thank you both for taking the time to help me:)
As far as pinks go, thats not a bad pink, but I wont feel comfortable. I stay away from red as well. I’d feel like a beacon or a road sign if i had to wear red.
Damn i wish I could spend more time online….
Cheers
mmmm bacon!
I think you’re cool, keep posting please!
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I think I am definitely seeking for validation… My therapist made me realise one very important thing this year and that is that I am not responsible for other people’s happiness. That does not mean that I should be ruthless and selfish but I do have take responsibility for my own happiness and cannot live only to please others. (With the exception of children, you are responsible for your children’s happiness.) I understand and believe the concept and its a huge load off my shoulders but I keep falling into the habit of denying myself my needs and wants because I feel sorry for my wife.
You’re not reasonable for her happiness at all, you’re reasonable for your own happiness, for you choose how you feel. I can be standing in a room with my mom and be happy because I choose to not let it control me. I’m reasonable for my happiness because no one chooses it for me. I agree when you say ” I can’t only live for others” true, you do matter but never hurt people on that path. You can be self serving as long as no one gets hurt on the way. I agree when you say people are responsible for children because they can’t make choices at a young age. It’s not that you feel sorry for her it’s you getting a good feeling from the power that takes over your self esteem. To you it feels good to be unhappy, once you feel good you back away. If you can train yourself to stay put when you get a good feeling in time it will feel like a sense of normal. You can’t fight it or let it go, when you feel getting better you have to hold on to it and keep trying. I’m the feeling of self doubt feels normal for you have lived it your whole life but you can overcome it. I think you should ask your doctor to work with you about your low self approval and why for a while. You must take care of yourself before you can make your wife happy. Get happy eyes ok, I can tell you’re a good guy you just need to see it for yourself.
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lol, I read that reply about SIX TIMES in confusion before I realized you meant responsible, not reasonable. Man am I stupid sometimes, lol.
Ciao,
Dan
It was like 6 in the morning…oops, I’m dumb!
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No, no, you’re fine. I’ve made much worse mistakes. It’s just sad I didn’t get that out of context since Itikia uses almost the exact same phrase, lol. You are not dumb, and I have alot of respect for you. Especially in reading the poster. You are very good at reading in between the lines; I tend to take things in their literal sense.
C-ya,
Dan
OK now this is what I am talking about…. Some one voted for my pic on Rate My Looks. I was a 3/10, and now a am a 8/10. That is not funny… I am NOT an 8. Never was never will be. I was unhappy with a 3 but 8 is just ridiculous. Did any of you guys give me a pity vote?
How could we, you never gave us the link.
See you’re hot, you only think you’re not!
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It’s the eyes pal, girls fall for that sort of thing.
:-) :-)
Dan
Smile too, your eyes look happy when you smile!
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www.ratingmylooks.com/itikia.htm
Here’s my link..
Keep farting, I rated you a ten!
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Wow, think i got the wrong site…..
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Oops how so, was it that bad ;)
I know that i am ugly it’s something that you just have to deal with, you just take your ticket and wait until a girl is drunk enough to **** you
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It’s simple: just pick up an age-appropriate popular magazine or clothing catalog. For example, if you are a 34 year-old man, try GQ, Esquire, or the the Macy’s Fall Sale Catalog. Look at the advertisements. Or, watch TV. If you look like any of the men there, you are attractive. If you don’t , you’re not. That’s it! Like it or not, fair or not, that’s the world. Advertisers have spent a lot of money, time, and effort to figure all this out. Don’t try to redo their research. If you are overweight, it’s even easier Sorry, them’s the facts! This doesn’t mean you won’t find a woman who likes you; it just means it will be harder for you than for other guys. When a woman thinks a guy is hot, about half will admit it. The other half will say: “He’s so sensitive - really understands me, …” Don’t believe it, she just likes his 6-pack! Women don’t fall in love with cash or personality. Like us guys, it’s 90% looks. They’ll make up the rest to sound politically correct.
I think you are attractive. I can totally see you with a nice haircut and merely a smile would make me wanna get to know you. You’re cute.
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u r ugly i am sorry face it if you feel uncomfortable about ur face then ur ugly
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I will be straight up with you. Conventionally you are not attractive. You are unusual looking. That is not to say small children will see you and run away screaming, but you’re definitely not handsome. But, so what? You’re a little plain looking. You’re a dude, lucky you! That means for what you lack in looks you can make up for in personality and how you dress. I would also suggest being physically fit, but don’t go muscle-man overboard. Hope that helps.
Dude, you’re not ugly.
With a haircut and good diet/workout plan, you’ll be able to pull chicks like it’s nothing.
Attractiveness, to women more than men, comes from personality and all that jazz. If you’re a good person and are confident in yourself, you’re attractive.
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I followed the link
And though you’re not some mountain of muscle, you look fine
(I love your eyes, they’re a lovely combination of blue and green)
Personally
I’m attracted to people with a sense of humor
…
And big muscle men kinda scare me
…
0-o
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You are not a 3, closer to 6-for NOW. For real man-lose some weight, try to find a somewhat enjoyable physical activity that gets you up to target heart rate for 20 min no more than 2-3 times a week for now. I know it’s hard with a kid, try bicycle with the bugger on your back in one of those harnesses(if it’s still small), hiking is great. Honestly-and this is comming from a person who is okay about being unattractive, you are good if you just get some muscle to burn fat and try a little cardio to raise you metabolism to.
I would know, as I have friends who all had the looks and got the girls, not me. However, I’m the guy the girls, and my friends were most honest with because they knew I was no competition, I have been given pointers about what is attractive on me and what is not and in brutally honest detail, alcohol helped the honesty a little plus I didn’t drink so I was a good student of this life experience. From my experience this is what your FACE defects are-mind you, the personality, trust, understanding DO count and yes, politically correct bs is used to justify womens’ lust for dudes’ body features-which will be used to justify why they like you so much if my pointers on your appearance are considered-So, right about your face:
the nose, little big and the wieght thing, which for some doesn’t matter…that’s it-seriously, that’s it.
You got one of those faces that women like to get close to, lips for kissing, eyes good, ears good, eye brows check, facial proportions-while I don’t have a golden proportion grid over it see, your facial proportions are fairly symetrical and you got an inconspicuous adam’s apple(epigolotis)-that’s a good thing, I don’t.
How do I know this-because all the stuff that’s all set to get women on you is deficient on me, but I don’t care, there’s more to life than the face-plus my body isn’t too bad, could use some work though.
Now, you can do something about the weight, but the nose would need surgery IF IT WAS AS BAD AS MINE-but it doesn’t-WHY, you you may ask. Because, you see your nose is not repulsive, just a bigger size sort of and again, losing some weight(the healthy way, not starving yourself) will make it less of a concern. I know this, and not in a glum disposition either, that my nose is a bit repulsive becuase it always looks like I have blackheads all over it(just my conspicuous pores) and I have an odd hairline and mis-shapen head( a peer reviewed analysis backed by beautiful chicks’ conversations with me after they realized I was cool with it and just wanted some honest feedback. From what i’ve seen as preferances over me and reviews, you got the right hair dude, long or short-I suggest long cause you got those colorations and locks they prefer, and in case you are wondering what age group is my data set, it’s 24-28, close enough to you. I’m just some guy who feels sometimes a lot like you sound, cept it’s for better reason. It’s late and Ive had trouble with an online class that I can’t post work on till I get some help in two days, so I figured I’d surf the web and bam-I see some dude who sound like I do on a bad day, cept you don’t really have much reason to worry, like I said, ditch some weight, little muscle and yur good. Peace-honestly, this is not a pity post man, get out of the rut yur in.
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