well the only thing i want to say is i know how you feel in someways i am sorry for your pain and i hope for the best for you,but i do want you to know that i too had a hard childhood i say start with the small things and try your best to make them better,like help your nan do stuff and honey get new friends like the kind that dont cause you more pain!!! you say you cant but you really can sometimes in life you need to wipe the slate clean and do better i too started life young and i laerned the only person who can control your life is you,go to school i cannot stress how important it is for you to get atleast your G.E.D,respect ppl in time you will understand thats all you have to have for ppl to love your attuide and respect yourself life is just starting for you so i really dont think i have to tell you its hard i think you already know this, but try to do better and it will all come together and remember to always be you,but have an open mind and heart!!! good luck to you and hold your head high keep going you have all the strengh to do so!! *great big hugs from me to you*
Honey, life is hard. First off, stop drinking everyday, period, actually. It’s not good for us with depression, and for a youngster *hehe, i sound old* it’s worse because you’re still developing.
Your family will always be there for you, no matter how much you argue. Arguing is another way of caring that just doesn’t come out right. Whether it’s you arguing or the other, someone cares. And family problems are just that, family problems… if they choose to include you try to give them your best ideas, but if they don’t it is for a very good reason. I used to get upset with my parents about not including me in the affairs of the household when I was your age, and still today. If we’re a family and it’s a problem for one, it’s a problem for all of us. If you don’t want to be involved because of what you’re going through right now, explain that, it is understandable.
Get someone to talk to a counselor or anything about your best friend’s, father’s and uncle’s deaths. I know what it’s like to lose a friend at a young age because it happened to me too at your age. I ended up in counseling and taking meds and all kinds of stuff from that. I think that is why I feel so screwed up all the time… anyway, next…
When our emotions are conflicted, it can show in what we say and do every day. This may contribute to your friends/niece’s attitudes toward you… or that could be the depression telling you that they’re being jerks and what not. I know when I get really low, the world hates me and is my enemy. You gotta find a way to turn that around if that’s the case. Your Nan and you need to talk before she kicks you out because she just can’t take it anymore. You should just sit down and tell her what’s going on inside your head the best way you know how. IT WILL BE HARD! Nothing worth anything is easy! Same goes with the friends… if you pick one of them that you feel closest to *even if you don’t feel close at the moment* and tell him or her how you’re feeling about their actions or words. Try not to place blame but rather tell them how it makes you feel. No one can argue with how you feel.
Next, school. OMG I hated school but wish I didn’t drop out and have to get an equivalancy diploma… Stay in school, dive into your work and try to take everything with a grain of salt as they say. Do stay in school though because it’s much better living with family than strangers, trust me! Look at school as your outlet to make your life soar! Because honestly, you can’t do much of anything now a days without an education, especially a high school one! I’m not lecturing, just so you know, just sharing my opinion on that.
As for your siblings, call them. Your family is the most important thing in the whole world. If they don’t mistreat you, keep them closer than anything else. If you can’t call them, write them a snail mail letter! The post will never go out of style, even with our trusty computers at our fingertips.
I saved the lovely lad for last… I know you love him very much. I know you will always love him, never questionable. You will find someone else you love as much or even more, if you can imagine that. I ended up breaking up with my first love because I did a real stupid thing and cheated on him. I was 14 and he was 18. We were engaged and everything, I mean, seriously, planning already. We also started to plan our family and lives together… I was stupid. I still love Adam with all my heart, 13 years later. I haven’t seen him in a long time, but every time we run into each other, look into each other’s eyes, it’s like a time warp. I get overwhelmed with love for him when I see him and he does for me. Now, though, I am glad that my love life went the way it did. I wouldn’t have met Jamie. The only other man I ever dated that I felt I would marry some day. Unfortunately for me, that is no longer going to happen. We broke up too, but we do still talk. I am trying to stay friends with him because I truly love him and who he is. I tell him all the time how beautiful he is inside and out. He still does the same for me. This is rare. Not many couples who break up can talk to each other, never mind stay friends. I have a gift in this way I guess, but you can too. You have to analyze these people and how they made/make you feel. Also how you make yourself feel every day. People have a hard time liking/loving someone who doesn’t like/love themselves at all. Even if you do love yourself a little bit, the depression will play a cruel mind game with you and make you feel like crap even though you’re really not. Look into your heart and see what qualities lie in you. Even if you come up with only one good one, it’s a start and a great base to begin working on more positive things. Ok, I am done now, I hope this helps you some. I am always here to help others, so don’t be afraid to ask! Love & hugs! :D *laughs at rebek’s answer being here first!*
HelpBot
rebek~always
chbro123
~Break-taking-bitsh~
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