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my boyfriend betrayed me, and anything i ask to help make this better he just doesnt do, i just dont know what to do or where to go from here.
I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT THERES A WHOLE STORY BEHIND IT. PLEASE I NEED SOME ADVICE I HAVE NO ONE TO GO TO. PLEASE. i am 19 years old, my boyfriend grant is 18, im a sofmore in college he is a freshman. we’ve been dating for exactly 3 years july 30th. dispite common nievety of teens, we are not typical people, and just know that we will be together forever. i just know, as people say. but dispite disbeliefs, thats not the problem.
about a month ago, everything went wrong.
in november, i was on his computer and a porn sight came up. its not like i didnt know. but the physical evidence upset me. and i cried. as soon as he knew what i was crying about, he looked me in the eye and said “i promise i dont want it need it and never will again”. i didnt believe him. but any time i mentioed my disbelief he would acutally get alittle angry and remind me how he really really didnt want it or care or ever would.
i finally believed him. and a promise like that, a kept promise like that, meant alot to me as a part of our relationship. then a month ago, not snooping or anything because i acutally believed him, while typing in myspace, myfreepornsight came up. really i didnt believe it. andi wanst upset. because i was going to mention it to him and tell him how i knew it was a virus or something like that and that would be that. when i told him, he got this look on his face, and i knew. i was hysterical and felt so betrayed. so after crying i found out hed started about 2 weeks before that. and in my hysterics i asked what else i didnt know about. unfortunitly, he had an answer.
a week before that, he was on a scavenger hunt and one item was to lick penut butter off a male friends ***. he did it. his friends replied “thats the gayest thing youve ever done” and in responce he said psh im not gay, and grabbed a girl he was withs boob. not sexually. but still did it.
the worst part of that was that he didnt tell me. but the worst part of the porn thing was that he promised me that he didnt want it, now hes telling me it was a lie. if that promise was not made i wouldnt feel this way at all. he says, dispite wanting it, breaking a promise about something that hurts me is something he’l never do again. but he stil lwants it. and that kills me now.
over the last month me fight all the time. and neither of us know how to handle it because we never have before. about a week after that night that everything was brought to the table, i told him i needed him to do the little things for me to make this better, because there really is no one big thing to fix this. but he just cant. everything i ask of him is a problem. and he doesnt mean it. and he cares. but everything ive asked him to not do, he still ends up doing, half mindedly and really not on purpose, but he doesnt think about me and how i asked not to, he gets lost within himself and whatever hes doing. for example there is this one girl who i really dont like and i asked him not to talk to her and he said fine because it didnt metter either way to him, yet at a fair he got up from the table we were at to get a drink and comes back and mentions to his friends how he just saw her, because they know her as well, and how they talked. and no matter what i say i feel like my point never gets across becuase the basically same situations keep hapening. im not looking to end this. just a way to fix it. i dont know what to do but i cant be so miserable anymore.
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