Okay, there’s some background to fill in before I actually ask my question.
My ex, who is basically my best friend - at least one of three - has been in the marines for four years and is getting out this fall. He was going to come home (to New Jersey), but due to some financial trouble he really doesn’t have the money to get a place of his own and the only places he could stay would only be temporary - a sort of “until you get on your feet” deal. A friend from the marines, however, offered him a room with him - in Utah.
I desperately want him to come home. As I mentioned, we’re as close as two people can be without being in a relationship. There’s also the fact that we had plans to get a place together ourselves (along with one of his other friends from this area). If he doesn’t come home, I’m gonna be stuck with my parents for probably another two years (we were hoping to have money to get a place by next Spring). So his not coming home is causing me problems on two fronts (losing my best friend for several more years and my chances of moving out).
If I asked him - I mean really asked him - to come home, he would. The problem is, I don’t want to stop him from going to Utah. He’s being offered a place pretty much rent-free, his friend practically promised him a job as well, and there’s a good music scene out in the area he’d be in (he wants to start a band and do something with it). He’s been torn because he does want to come home and see me and help me get a place, but life would be so much simpler out in Utah. If he came home… things would be a mess for him.
I can’t decide if I should be selfish and ask him to come home - which he does want, it just won’t be easy to deal with - or if I should just let him go to Utah… and not see him for at least four years and be stuck with my parents for at least a couple years.
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