Love help: On a break?

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On a break?

My boyfriend and I are both in our early 20s, we’ve been together for 2.5 years, and travelled together after uni etc.

Now I moved to live near him and got myself an apartment and a job I love. He also has an apartment, but is still trying to get his dream job (it may take a couple of years for him to make it in the competitive industry he wants to work in)

I’ve been quite ill recently so haven’t been the best girlfriend, and our relationship is quite full on. We’ve spoken about moving in/marrage at some point in the future. And I really do think he is the man I’m gonna b with.

The problem is the other day he told me he wanted a break from us. The break was originally going to b until September, but I thought if I said I didn’t want a break I could pursuade him we could just spice things up. Go on dates, put a bit of distance etc. But when I wouldnt speak he walked out and when we spoke on the phone/emailled he has now said he cant change his mind and doesn’t know when we’ll b back on track. But he said to me if we have a break we might come back stronger later. I do see that we could do with some space, but he is my best friend and being apart is killing me.

I just am so scared that if I don’t move on and wait for him he will meet someone else and itll crush me.

If I move on, what if I meet someone else and then my boyfriend comes back and I have to choose?

I’m scared that if I step away from the relationship my love will turn into hate and ill never have all the things i want with him in the future. I just wish he would arrange some date for us to give it another go…

I begged him to meet me on Sunday if he ever saw us getting back together and he said he would. But I think I’ve fought enough and now need to seem a little more distant so he can see I can give him space. So I’ve sent him a mail saying if he doesn’t have anything to say then i dont want to meet.

I just dont know how I’m gonna get through this. I suffer from anorexia/bullimia, and when I was with him I was able to repress my illness, because I thought my life was under control. Now things are up in the air I’m not eating and dont want to either. He fell in love with me at my very thinnest, but when I’ small I’m very selfish and detached.

I just don’t know what to do. My mother says if you love something enough it will come back to you. But I don’t know if that is gonna get me through.

Any suggestions much appreciated…

This open post was written 2 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 80, 7, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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friends, tourism, mail, Mind, Love, Dream, Earth's atmosphere, life, September, man (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Chameleon 13 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

How long has it been since you split up?

ke-ai-mei 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

Gosh you’re in a tricky situation.
I can see where your coming from here; I’ve had problems and thoughts like these with my bf too…
Now though, even though we are apart for a while, we still call and IM now and then.
My best advice for you would be to fully occupy yourself with other things. Find hobbies, books, things to do, new friends etc. and really get involved. Maybe join a gym, take up swimming, a new language etc. and it will take your mind off the pain. In moments when it really hurts, I recommend buying a nice big pillow. I have a big Naruto pillow which smells nice and new (still!) and wen I really miss him, I jus hug the pillow… sounds stupid but it helps…
As for your relationship, I think give him his space. And time. Don’t contact him now. Wait for him to contact you. I don’t kno quite how you feel about him, but I can see that it is very stong since u were both considereing marriage. I’m kinda on the same level with you there. I don’t know about you, but if my guy split from me, I wouldn’t want another guy really… at least for an extreamly long time. Instead I would concentrate on building my bank account (:P) and buy some cats to keep me company… animals can help you wen u feel sad btw ^0^ alot!
Well I hope you find this helpful…
Good Luck…
And mebbe you could find some similar posts on this site to issues like yours, and see what advice other ppl give you.
Be positive, and TC of urself :)

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Chameleon 13 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (18 minutes after post)

Chameleon wrote:
How long has it been since you split up?

Well I can’t wait around for your answer all night so I’ll try to answer with the info given.
Depending on how long you’ve been broken up, give him a date to give you an answer by. Maybe a couple of weeks to a month. During that time don’t pester him. Leave him be and let him think through what he wants. If, when the time is up, he doesn’t know - move on and date others.
During this time I want you to get help for your anorexia/bulimia. Are you seeing a therapist for it? If not, get yourself in to see one. You need to be the best you can be before you enter into a relationship. And if you get it under control, that might go far towards your boyfriend taking you back.

Anonymous #
2 months, 3 weeks ago (40 minutes after post)

We split 3 days ago, Tuesday evening.

Chameleon 13 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

Oh you definitely need to give him space. Only three days and you’re already pushing him for an answer - not good because the harder you push the faster you’ll push him away.
Don’t worry yet about if you should fall in love with another or not, it’s only been 3 days. Give him some undisturbed time to think. At the very least a week. Longer if you can stand it. Then, if he hasn’t contacted you, contact him and tell him it’s time to make a decision about you.

Anonymous #
2 months, 3 weeks ago (45 minutes after post)

To be honest my A/B only comes around when something major happens, its like my comfort blanket. I’m gonna try and b sensible though.

I have cancelled our meeting just waiting to see if he responds, if he doesnt im gonna leave it and let him sort his head out. Its his birthday in September and I may see how he is feeling then.

Thanks for your advice

Chameleon 13 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (51 minutes after post)

That’s a good plan to contact him on his birthday. :) good luck and I hope it works out for you.

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