Love help: My boyfriend and I are in love, but his job keeps him super busy and I sometimes overreact when he doesn’t have time for me. - Help.com

My boyfriend and I are in love, but his job keeps him super busy and I sometimes overreact when he doesn’t have time for me.

I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me to pieces and who I adore. We have been together for about a year and a half. We work at the same company, except he has a MUCH higher position than I do. Anyway, everything was going perfectly until a few months ago. I became unhappy with my job, which in turn has made me miserable in other areas of my life, including in my relationship. I know I have to change careers, but I have made a commitment until the end of the year. As a result of the job unhappiness, I have been experiencing a lot of negative self talk, which is now translating into my love life. I am oversensitive about EVERYTHING-family, friends, job, and now him. My boyfriend (Christopher) has been so amazing and patient with me. Even before my funk, he completely dotes on me, always lets me know he thinks about me, takes me on wonderful trips, includes me with all of his friends and family. He constantly compliments me and tells me he loves me, and I do the same. We have talked about marriage and kids, although not at length. Recently, he got promoted even higher up in the company, and he has been EXTREMELY busy. We work in entertainment, so he is constantly having to wine and dine industry big-wigs and clients, sometimes until very late. But we still see each other more than most couples because we work together. He texts and calls me throughout the day. We used to spend 4 nights out of the week together-which at first I thought was too much. But then I got used to it and started to expect it. So, now we see each other 1-2 nights a week. Sometimes he doesn’t check in with me before I go to sleep, which used to not matter, and recently for NO reason, that has started to bother me and I start crying and I can’t stop. The negative self-talk has me thinking that I will never be a priority and that I will be married with kids and alone every night. I tell myself this so often that I have started to believe it. Besides the job business, he has done everything to prove that I won’t always be alone. I totally trust him-he is the best, most honest guy I have ever known. But I got used to seeing each other every night, and that changed, and I just sit at home depressed that I’m not with him. I have a ton of friends, but I don’t make much money so it’s hard for me to always go out on the town to keep me busy. The problem is that since we are very honest with each other, he knows how I am feeling…And he thinks that I love him, but that I think he may not be the right person for me. I DO know that he is the right person for me. He doesn’t seem to think that I am going through some sort of depression, which I know I am. He thinks if I was happy with him, I’d just be happy. But that is not always how it works! So 2 things: 1) How do I prove to him that I am happy with him but I am just going through a rough patch. I don’t want a boyfriend who smothers me and doesn’t have his own life! I was always so independent and I realize that has changed in the past few months. And 2) What can I do that keeps me occupied when I am not with him while I am getting help for this? I can’t go out and spend money, I need some hobbies or something…I can’t keep staying up waiting for him to text or call every night. I never needed him to do that before….

This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 739, 7, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Love, happiness, Relationships, depression (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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