Year help: what should i do…….. - Help.com

ur dating a 15 yo?

OK - this pressure on her has got to stop - if you love her - let her be - otherwise you are going to ruin the best years of her life.

No jokes - she cant fight against the rules of the house and every time she sees you that is what she is doing.

Think you have to be the man in this instance and just let her go.

You know how much I have supported you all through this but that convo is heartbreaking - she cant change a thing and she is only 15.

I know you wish for it to be different but the making of the man inside you must be telling you that to keep in contact with her is going to make her and her family life so unhappy and disrupted.

You have a lot of choices to make now at your age - maybe now is the perfect time to start looking to wht you are going to do.

This isnt what you wanted me to say but I think it is almost all there in that conversation - what do you think? - Mas

cor thats a toughie coz I can see the love between you both :S
guess there is a couple of options really:
1, stay together but keep it in your pants.
2, separate but stay friends
3, separate and dont stay friends

I do however agreed with Mas1s - it seems like there is a lot of pressure on both of you as to what to do. Think you need to make your mind up with the above 3 options and do it. Stop dancing about it and pretending like there isnt a problem - coz there is and there is also a solution.

Nice Ditzy - I think the Stepdad has his mind made up - so the next thing would be for our man to plan a sparkling future - one that he could welcome her into when the time came

Darling - you have no idea it how hard it was to type those words - but I have serious concerns for you two right now - and I know your heart is good - I know it is. Take this moment and seize your chances to make yourself into the guy she desrves - it’s never over you know - not when you love each other. Distance, time, illness and war - nothing parts some people. but time can certainly improve this situation - please - we have got it this far and you have tried so hard - please think about you this time - I’m worried about you - mas

ooooo good idea Mas1s :D be friends until the time comes when you can be lovers. No point hurting yourself (and your parents/step parents) over the next like 2 years. Try talking to the stepdad that this is what you are going to do - and let the girl down gently. Its obvious that there is a bond and if it really is that strong then you will get back together (when the time is right) q sera sera - what ever will be will be :) if its meant to happen it will (good things come to those who wait)

I didnt think so - but there is plenty chance of him having to admire what you accomplish isnt there?

I dont believe for a minute that you and her are going to lose contact but I do believe it could hold you back being this unhappy - I like you - it’s not difficult - you are likeable and you wear your heart on your sleeve.

You know what I can still hear how young she is in that convo - you must take charge here - you have to - it might be the first difficult thing you have ever faced but you need to take charge.

You love her - take this burden off her shoulders. Write to the stepdad and ask him to unground her - seriously - say that if he does you wont see her.

Give her her life back - you want the best for her - so show her just how much she means and give her her freedom back.

She will love and respect you all the more if you can find it to do this - and trust me - she is not about to forget about you - you are just going to have to going back to talking through the library or wherever for a while.

Come on - she’s worth it - I even know that - Mas

Well not much of a Summer for her what are you going to be doing all this time that you cant see her - what are your plans - an 18 yr olds summer should be heading into the future. What would you be doing if this wasnt all happening?

Well we both know that I think you have good taste in presents so I’m going to suggest 2 jobs - and I mean it - not boring jobs - fun jobs - and that means you have money.

What jobs are in your area - or what would stop you say from joining Disneyworld for the Summer with the accommodation and all that - get out of there but save your cash

OK then we need to concentrate on something else this Summer - getting you better - what do you think? Come on - you have some time and we can guide you to the right people/places - how about coming out of this Summer with a great big positive that will totally change your whole life - A whole new you - what do you think?

Well maybe it’s time we got to the bottom of that - think about how free you would feel if you could change this. Would you even consider making a post and inviting people who understand this disorder to join it?

You know me I’ll Google until I find you help but I fully believe that if you worded it right we could have a good crack at improving your anxiety - come on - what’s to lose? - mas

Some grown up advice here - there is room in your life for getting healed and loving your g/f. Trust me - there is no such thing as a backburner when it comes to your health.

Got to say I can think of places where you might actually receive some constructive help regarding the social anxiety - MySpace is good to talk about your disorder and your progress but I had other place in mind - more of the sort that got you better - mas

No - not here at all - I’d rather find you something that was tailored to your needs - maybe even an outreach programme where you can go and talk to others, not just online - these places do exist and they are very successful - Help.com is not for that - you need a level up from the helpers here - you need people who can take this anxiety and show you how to make it work for you - not against you - it can be done - trust me - it really can be done.

Well why not have a break for a little while right now - I could murder a coffee lol - i’ll be here - but I’m just taking a little while away from the screen - promise I will help you find places like that I’m talking about - this could be a better Summer than you think - back in a little while - Mas

leave the name of your biggest town/state so I can start work on this soon as possible

Thank goodness you came back - I lost all my notices - again - and couldnt find you. How you doing?