life help: ~Male or Female~ - Help.com

~Male or Female~

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

~Male or Female~

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Just to even things out:

LAMBORGHINIS: Female. (The IDEAL female.) They turn guys on, they get turned on as soon as the guy gets inside them, they look really cool, go really fast, they can carry stuff do you don’t have to, most have never been used by anyone else, and they all come pre-waxed.

COUCH CUSHIONS: Male. Ah, you thought they were girly, huh? But think about it, what is a girl clinging to/squeezing/hiding behind during a scary movie if there’s no guy around? The couch cushions! But they can be girly… maybe they’re gay guys.

NETWORK TV STATIONS: Lesbian Female. Who else could manufacture so much drama for their own amusement and gain?

PORN: Male. (Big surprise, right?) It isn’t complicated, it get’s right to the point, and it gets the job done so you can move on with your life.

~Male or Female~

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Just to even things out:

LAMBORGHINIS: Female. (The IDEAL female.) They turn guys on, they get turned on as soon as the guy gets inside them, they look really cool, go really fast, they can carry stuff so you don’t have to, most have never been used by anyone else, and they all come pre-waxed.

COUCH CUSHIONS: Male. Ah, you thought they were girly, huh? But think about it, what is a girl clinging to/squeezing/hiding behind during a scary movie if there’s no guy around? The couch cushions! But they can be girly… maybe they’re gay guys.

NETWORK TV STATIONS: Lesbian Female. Who else could manufacture so much drama for their own amusement and gain?

PORN: Male. (Big surprise, right?) It isn’t complicated, it get’s right to the point, and it gets the job done so you can move on with your life.