relationship help: First of all, hello everyone! - Help.com

First of all, hello everyone!

Tis my first post here. Nice to meet you all!

So then.. I’ve got a situation where I would really like some unbiased input, and i’ve been lurking for a bit, so I’ll give it a go.

This girl broke up with her boyfriend about a year ago, because he did some stupid stuff that ended up with him in jail and her in the hospital. Since then, we’ve hung out quite a bit, and I recently asked her out. She told me that she had a lot going on, and gave me a “maybe”.

Now, fair enough. I can wait a while for a nice girl.. so no problem. However, she’s gotten to be a bit upset as of late.. leaving interesting comments on myspace about needing help.. but whenever I brought it up, she said it was nothing. I found out (not from her) that she had been trying to get back with her ex, but he already has found someone else.

Apparently shes over that phase again.. but now I’m not sure if I’m in a position to ask her whats going on.. its been a week or two since I asked her out, and I don’t want to seem like I’m pestering her about it. So I ask you, how long do I wait until I’m in a safe area to bring up the subject again?

This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 123, 6, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Chibi may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Chibi is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 3 months and has 2 posts and 3 replies to their name.

Post Tags (3)

dealing with ex, Downtime, relationship (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

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SingerInPurple offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (4 minutes after post)

wait about a week…keep talking to her through the week though…

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Chibi changed the tags on this post: they were "myspace, Get Back, Situationist, Hospital, Week, girl, Bit, upset, area, Stupidity" 1 year, 4 months ago.

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Chibi changed the tags on this post: they were "dealing with ex, Downtime, relationship" 1 year, 4 months ago.

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meanowre offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (8 minutes after post)

So, you’ve “hung out” for a year… How close do you feel to her? Do you feel like you guys are real buddies as well as potential lovers, or is it more of a romantic interest in her the whole time?… If you HAVE gotten pretty close to her, it might be a good idea to gently face her off. That even outside of romantic interest, you’re still concerned about her well-being and want to know what’s going on. Girls love having an ear. SOmetimes they know the right thing to do, but until they say it aloud, it’s not happening;P. Not to mention you’ll gain a better insight into the way she’s thinking, and hopefully you’l be able to help her get control of the situation and do the right thing.

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Chibi offline Verified User (2 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Gainesville, FL, US | 1 year, 4 months ago (14 minutes after post)

Well, I knew her for 4 years before her and her ex broke up, so we’re pretty good buds outside of the whole relationship aspect. Her situation with her ex is something she doesn’t like to bring up too much, so I think I might give ‘er a call tomorrow and try and bring it up.. so if she doesn’t wanna talk about it, fair enough, eh?

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meanowre offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (19 minutes after post)

true true. You might not even have to bring it up tho. Not directly anyway. The more she feels cornered about it, the more she isn’t going to want to say anything. Just by letting her know that you’re there, she’ll more likely feel better about confiding in you…

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