how old are you? your parents won’t let you date or they just don’t like the type of guy? need more info please.
15, they won’t let me date because they think i’m too young.
i respect their decision and i’ve HONESTLY tried to listen to them.. but.. it was just too hard =\.
i’m pretty open with my parents actually, i’ve told my mom i like him and everything. initially she claimed that i could date after she met him… but then she changed her mind. i brought him home anyways… and she’s told me he seems nice, but wanted me to just be friends with him. but… i just couldn’t.
Well maybe you should just tell your mom and explain to her that you did try but your feelings for this guy is really strong. She should be more accepting than your father because she did want to meet him first and he proved to be a decent guy. So just tell her the truth but explain yourself so she will understand
yeah, what skyy said. dont demand anything, that automatically makes them say no, trust me, instead tell them you tried and you respect their deciscion but that you believe you’re mature enough to have a boyfriend.
I… don’t think I’d be able to. Before I started to… lie to my parents, I’ve asked repeatedly if I could date, and she gave me a set time of grade 11. It doesn’t sound like a long time, but it feels like eternity. Sometimes.. my mother can be quite irrational and I’m really scared of admitting to the fact that I’ve been lying. I was actually considering telling my brother not too long ago… but then I changed my mind. It’s just a lot easier said then done… even when I was saying it to myself.
My parents… aren’t going to change their minds. I just know it. And after finding out what I’ve been doing?? Try dating at 30.
lol hmm.. i guess we all found out who anomynous was…
Actually, it might help…
I guess there’s some… background information about how I felt about him in my first post…
It expalins the situation as well…
If anyone’s interested :)
OH WAIT no it doesnt. that was ANOTHER anomynouse post..
lolol scratch that.
sillee wrote:
lol hmm.. i guess we all found out who anomynous was…
I was thinking the same lol Dont worry we wont judge you. Actually theres nothing here to judge. You sound like a girl with a good head on her shoulders
I still think you should at least tell your mom. Or maybe ask her how old she was when she first started dating. If she didnt date at that age then ask her if she wanted to but didnt because her parents didnt allow her to. If she says yes then try to get those old memories back of how hard it was to not give in to her emotions. Then say thats how you feel now and so on
your parents forbidding you to date til your 17-18 is stupid. you’re going to date in high school, they have to accept that. what you need to do is convince them that you are mature enough to handle that, and part of showing that maturity is admiting to them that you are in fact dating. go to them first, if you wait til they find out some other way, it will only give them ammo in the argument against you dating. try using skyys process to lead into it, but you have to admit it to them.
i know that sounds like bull with the maturity bit, but i’m speaking from experience here. not with dating, but other things they forbade me to do. it works better when you go to them.
skyy wrote:
sillee wrote:
lol hmm.. i guess we all found out who anomynous was…
I was thinking the same lol Dont worry we wont judge you. Actually theres nothing here to judge. You sound like a girl with a good head on her shoulders
I still think you should at least tell your mom. Or maybe ask her how old she was when she first started dating. If she didnt date at that age then ask her if she wanted to but didnt because her parents didnt allow her to. If she says yes then try to get those old memories back of how hard it was to not give in to her emotions. Then say thats how you feel now and so on
:) thanksss.
.. Actually, I have asked her. She didn’t start dating until she was in university… which was my parents’ initial rule until after they gave in to my efforts of persuading them. Though I’ve never thought of that idea.. maybe..
Zachary wrote:
your parents forbidding you to date til your 17-18 is stupid. you’re going to date in high school, they have to accept that. what you need to do is convince them that you are mature enough to handle that, and part of showing that maturity is admiting to them that you are in fact dating. go to them first, if you wait til they find out some other way, it will only give them ammo in the argument against you dating. try using skyys process to lead into it, but you have to admit it to them.
Right, I’ve actally menteiond this to them too :P It’s really sad because I didn’t wnat to be one of those girls who had a boyfriend behind their parents’ back (and I know OH so many). One of my biggest fears of telling them (well it’s relalyj ust my mom because my dad actually has NO idea.. he’s out of the country… its just easier to say parents I guess =\) rather, telling HER is her reaction and her seeming irrationality. She can just get VERY emotionally charged and impulsive that sometimes she says and does things that later she probably regrets. It’s crazy to think about doing it. Though I knoww it would be logical in any other circumstance.
well you know her best, so you know how she’ll react, but i’m telling you it will be worse if you don’t and she finds out, which will happen eventually if you keep dating him.
Hey i told my mom i smoked weed and drunk liquor my freshmen year of college (that was my first time doing either of them). At first she looked at me like i was crazy but then i explained to her how i was responsible and how i didnt like it. She understood and didnt yell or anything.
The point im trying to make is that i was honest with her and it felt good because like you, i hate hiding things from my mom. But im 19 so i guess its a little different. But like Zachary said eventhough you know how she “might” react (because you didnt tell her yet and dont know the outcome) you should be upfront with her. Because i bet if she finds out by accident or years later she will be WAY more upset and disappointed in you than if you were honest
Zachary wrote:
well you know her best, so you know how she’ll react, but i’m telling you it will be worse if you don’t and she finds out, which will happen eventually if you keep dating him.
… > I knowww. We’ve (my bf and i) talked about that… It’ just… every time I get the thought of telling my mother, I also get another thought that maybe JUST maybe… I can keep it a secret until I’ll be alloewd.
Okay. My oldr brother, he’s 23, has had a steady gf of 5… 6 years now? He’s almost like my parent, just with less restrictions and stuff. Initially, I was planning ot tell him.. and have him help me tell my mother… But recently… I guess I just got too scared and backed out. It’s just the UNKNOWN of how she’ going to act and the CONSEQUENCES are holding me back from coming clean. Would it be wise to tell my brother first? ALl my friends seem to be tellign me to =\
I hate hiding things from her too… it seems to be an astronomically bigger problem to me and my conscience compared to my friends. The thought of teling her.. it’s SO hard.
Well i tell my older brother things before i tell my mom but not when it come to guys lol. Hes kind of on the protective side. Your brother seems to be the same but if it will make you feel more comfortable talking to him about it first then do that. Your mom is a female so she wont be so protective but like i said do whats best for you
=) my brother’s like that too. But… he is more logical in his thinking… he’s a man. Women - my mother speaks on emotion and feeling and… well. yeah.
okay.. well.. im going off now.. so no more replies from me for the night.
Thank you thank you thank you. You two were a LOT of help.
I think I’m going to tell… SOMEONE. eiether my brother or mother. I may continue this post at a later date.. But for now.. thank you :D VERY VERY much. SO grateful for people like you.
Hi. Listen you sound like a mature young woman. I’m sure that it is hard because you care so much for this guy, but…………I remember being your age and now I have an 11yr old and 13yr old daughter. There are so many reasons to forstall a serious relationship at your age. There’s a big emotional investment that can cause you to overlook other things that you could be doing in your life. And that’s not even going into the physical ramifications. I don’t know what level your relationship with this guy is at-just know that no one except God loves you and wants to protect you more than your mom and/or dad. They probably have a pretty good idea what it’s like to go through teenage-hood. (I’m just guessing-lol) hope this helped. Don’t mean to be preachy. Peace.
If your mom allows friends… be that. Good and Close Friends. Base your relationship on that friendship. I know the relationship means more. Let him charm your mom as your friend. I am a mom, I may need some persuading when my daughter brings home a boy. I need to see that he treats me and my daughter (15) with respect. Not only will he respect her when not home, but he will respect that she is my daughter. Once he has gained my trust, then we will see what happens. I know she likes boys and it would be silly of me to forbid her to have those feelings. But I need to find some comfort in knowing she is with a responsible person.
What exactly about dating do your parents not like? Focus on calming their fears. If it is failed grades… work harder in school or study together. If it is physical… don’t be lovey dovey in front of her and talk about your ethics. You get the drift.
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