life help: I am 46 years old and i was fired from my job of almost 17 years for what i believe was a very minor infraction. - Help.com

You need to find another job, you need to get over it. I know that’s harsh, but for whatever reason, it’s not meant to be anymore. You’re starting a new chapter in your life, think of it that way. Don’t worry about what you’ve lost, think abou tnow, what you can gain! Who knows, there might be a much BETTER job that you’re happier doing right around the bend, and if you’re too busy fretting over what you don’t have anymore, you’ll never see it.
You need to be optimistic.

That’s horrible, no matter what the reason. It hurts, even if you hated your job and were planning to leave. This happened to me a couple of times. I’m really grateful though, because it forced me to start my own business, which I thoroughly enjoy! And in my last two jobs I learned a lot of the skills I use today.

The horrible part is the injustice and weirdness of being fired when you know you were doing a good job. I know I was doing a GREAT job. I really think these two bosses didn’t grasp what I was doing for them. And I must admit I wasn’t quite subservient enough for them. One asked everyone to take a voluntary pay cut, and I didn’t volunteer! The other was always asking us to work late at night with no notice and I refused …

Even so, it took me a while to get over these experiences. I didn’t see a therapist, but I reallly recommend that if you have the resources. You need to get it all out, and look at it from all angles and finally just plain “release it.”

I wish you well. Better stuff is coming your way! :)

Happened to me, too, two years ago. After a dozen years of outstanding work in a really demanding position, I was given a half-year’s salary and “invited to resign” because the new boss took an instant dislike to me. (He was very young and very green, and believe he felt threatened to have a seasoned veteran under his nose.) A few weeks later the new boss was fired for incompetence and interpersonal style problems (surprise, surprise), but by that point the damage had been done: I could not forgive the organization for siding with him after all I had done for them. I felt betrayed. Besides, by that point I had a new job.

Even though the new job APPEARS to be equal in status, pay, title, etc., it just doesn’t feel like a good fit, and I hurt every day over my mistreatment—and over what you call “what I have lost.”

Ok. There’s the soft part. Now for the tough part: You’ve posted this before. You’re stuck in a very bad place. It didn’t help before to sit around feeling sorry for yourself, and it doesn’t help now. As you aptly put it, no one can help you. Well, I guess I’d amend that to say no one can help you BUT YOU.

Granted, it’s hard to help yourself when you keep comparing what you had to what you have now. I admit, I do it too. We keep hurting ourselves, over and over. I think it’s about time we both moved on. Maybe we’ll NEVER get another situation as good as the ones we had. Life HAS to have a high point, you know. Maybe we’ve both had ours. But THEN is over. Now it’s just a matter of adjusting to the reality of now.

You can’t change the past. You can only work in the present to do your best by the future. If I were you, I would log the hell out of here and try to start thinking positive thoughts. Me too.

I’m going to tell you another toughlove secret: You didn’t get fired for “a very minor infraction.” The minor infraction was the excuse. The reason was that someone wanted you gone. That is why I feel betrayed. Someone on the inside allowed this to happen because they willed it to happen.

So now you know.

Not always, but sometimes, life really is a b*tch.

I guess you realize, Anon Above, that this avatar represents MANY different users. Just ask Ken if you don’t believe me. So you may not be speaking to the person you think you’re speaking to.

florie wrote:
I guess you realize, Anon Above, that this avatar represents MANY different users. Just ask Ken if you don’t believe me. So you may not be speaking to the person you think you’re speaking to.

No, Florie, I recognized this person not by the avatar, but by the story and the language. He/she has been stuck on this point for so long, and I feel bad that he/she can’t move on. But I understand, because I do the same thing to myself! Not healthy, really.

jimkaiseri wrote:
My wife lost her job three years ago, because of a mistake that, in my opinion, was nothing more than an excuse on the part of the “powers that be.” She had worked there for about 7 year, had large responsibilities within her department and was more devoted to her job than many of her coworkers. In all her time there, she had never had any problems of any kind. But about a week before Christmas they let her go. It really upset her, but she took the opportunity to become certified in another field and now she has a job that is far better than the one she lost. She is happier, more appreciated, and makes more too.

Try and look at this as an opportunity for bigger and better things. It happened for us, after all.

Good story, Jim–and a good lesson.

Anonymous wrote:

florie wrote:
I guess you realize, Anon Above, that this avatar represents MANY different users. Just ask Ken if you don’t believe me. So you may not be speaking to the person you think you’re speaking to.

No, Florie, I recognized this person not by the avatar, but by the story and the language. He/she has been stuck on this point for so long, and I feel bad that he/she can’t move on. But I understand, because I do the same thing to myself! Not healthy, really.

hmm, oh.
sigh