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i really feel for you. i am in the same boat where i want to start a new life somewhere far away from england. the best thing to do is aim yourself to leave the country by the age of whatever you want. at least then you have hope.

The grass is always greener.

well i live in the usa and im 13. and im not 1 of those girls but ive tryd to be just to get attion… if you dont want to be that girl stop being that girl… if you want more attion well i dont know…

you don’t necessarily need to leave your country to readjust your life. Why don’t you try wearing less makeup, leaving your false circle of friends, apologizing to anyone at school you offended or made fun of, and just start over within yourself.

You’re gonna find that those girls who are popular and care about what they look like, who party too much, and do things without caution, are the people who are going to have unrewarding, hard lives. Don’t let them trick you into thinking that you need to be like them. You just need to be yourself, and you sound alot smarter, nicer and genuine than those girls.

Be yourself. Be true to yourself. Do what you believe you need to do. Don’t hurt other people, don’t play with hearts, don’t get even, don’t be cruel. You’ll see soon how rewarding all of that will be.

You can change yourself in Sweden too…

allicity wrote:
Well, Its not that easy to just change yourself. The city I live in is really small and I don’t know any other friends apart from the ones I am with now .. So I would probobly end up all by my self ..

No you won’t. The normal majority are a quiet bunch, you won’t believe how many people are like that, but just don’t make any noise or attract attention…

i really thought that this kind of things just existed in movies!!!! i mean, theres really this kind of kids in the world? where are their parents? do they really think they will ever be the center of things, we’re 6 billion people in the world, get on with it…

not trying to judge you , i’m just chocked about this…

my first grammar teacher told me one thing that i keep in my hearth till today:
to change who you are, you just need to change the way you think…
god! you’re just 14 yo, i’m 20 and i can assure you, your life will change in so many ways that you cant even imagine, in the mean time you need to live it…
don’t repeat my worst fault… live you life, make mistakes, love, cry, laught… and the most important thing be yourself…

i know it sounds so poetic and philosophic, but someday you’ll find that it’s all true, and you’ll look back to this problems with a smile on your face =)

allicity, talk to me and I’ll tell you all about it!

And jonathand, that world exists in every country, it is just that adults close their eyes and hope that all is fine. Kids are smart and land on their feet in most given situations. But they lack the maturity of adults, and “to land on one’s feet” will not always mean to land in a proper way.

Yeah, I soo recognize what you are talking about! The sad thing is that this is all an import from the USA, the concrete ghetto life, the gangsta life, the MTV wannabe life, and so on. It is a “kid subculture”, where parents are not needed and not wanted (except for paying the bills).
But USA is big and there are all styles and environments. I guess your cousin is lucky enough to have a good environment, good parents and/or a strong personality.

If you want to move there, I hope that you will success. But in the meantime it is quite possible to come out of this in Sweden, too!

I am a man, and old enough to be your grandfather. But I have helped a few to come out of that environment. At least I imagine that I have played an important part in the process, but the main thing is that those girls are stronger today, have good lives and good self esteem. They all live in the worst possible places (the reputed parts of Gothenburg), and at least two of them were in deep sh*t. I have followed them since they were 13, and they are now 15 and 16.

I think jonathand’s grammar teacher had a good point. And to change the way you think, you just ave to talk with the right people for a while, and do some aftertoughts.
And before you know it, you will be the one with integrity, the one who your friends look up to and envy. You will not be alone!

So come on, give me a shout and I will talk to you.
If you want I can ask one or two of those other girls, if I can give you a link to them.

why don’t you just be brave & live your life the way you want & screw everybody else ?

You are concentrating so much on your look to get accepted by people in your community but the question is do you really want to be accepted by those people you are doing your best to get them to like you ?

Just be yourself girl & screw others , it will be hard in the begining but you will be happy at the end :)

Hehe, I even have that Mp3 song about fjortisar.

But really, don’t misunderstand the above from nextstar, she did not mean that you literally should screw people, only that you should not bother about what they think.

Because that is part of what it is about, too much screwing around!
Why is your friend in the center, and not you? Because she is probably regarded as “easier” than you!

To understand that, you have to use your imagination and put yourself in the boys’ shoes. What are they after? What do they look for? I don’t think I will have to spell it out to you, what those testosterone-full guys are looking for…
In short, they are looking for easy lays, for their own fun and excitement but also for something to brag to their friends with. It is like a contest.

The style of dressing and make-up you started your post with, is designed and aimed to attract boys. It is supposed to make them horny.

Now, what is there to be sad about? “Oh, I am so sad because I don’t look like an easy lay!”

And indeed, that is part of the thing. I told about some other girls in the above. The most beautiful of them all, is the only one of them who is still a virgin. She is a Muslim and all the people around know that she will NOT sleep with a boy within an overviewable future. And she is consequently not as “popular” with the boys, the one who has fewer chasing after her…
Do you see a pattern?
But she says that she is OK with that, because she does not have to be in the center when she knows what they look for.
She’s got integrity.

That is very common.
So you just have to talk to some nice people, and they will help you to look at yourself with different eyes.