Feeling help: Do people who are insecure, become defensive and behave controlling towards others intentially try to hurt them emotionally?

spiritedsoul

Do people who are insecure, become defensive and behave controlling towards others intentially try to hurt them emotionally?

Because I’m not sure if it’s because they are oblvious to how others feel and effects their ability to empathise or mainly to hurt others by feeling superior?
Is it a mixture of both?
I am totally confused!

This open post was written 1 year, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 1,817, 23, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post spiritedsoul may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. spiritedsoul is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 8 months and has 702 posts and 10,288 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

empathy, Emotion, Mental confusion, Mixture, Control, Feeling, Superior, Defense, hurt, Effect (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (23)

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EmilyRI 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (7 minutes after post)

People who are insecure are constantly going to be defensive because it’s hard for them to take insults or anything that could leave them vulnerable.
They probably don’t intentionally hurt others emotionally…they are just so wrapped up in their insecurity they don’t realize they are injuring others around them.

Help me with: I think I already know but I’d love your advice.

tricky 41 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (8 minutes after post)

is this about me ^_^

Help me with: What If?

Anonymous #
1 year, 4 months ago (9 minutes after post)

Arent they the ones who end up being abusive?

spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (14 minutes after post)

mike19 wrote:
I don’t really know what you are talking about. Is someone treating you badly?

well I come across people who are insecure, like for instance when I went to a festival and I joined a group because I had hardly anyone to hang out with, the guy said to me, “why don’t you join your friends?” and later asked, “SERIOUSLY, DON’T YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FRIENDS?’. this is just one example.
I was really hurt because mainly i was feeling vulnerable at the time. later that day my other mates from the group said and agreed he was insecure and didn’t think he was behaving in a friendly manner.

EmilyRI wrote:
People who are insecure are constantly going to be defensive because it’s hard for them to take insults or anything that could leave them vulnerable.
They probably don’t intentionally hurt others emotionally…they are just so wrapped up in their insecurity they don’t realize they are injuring others around them.

yeah true, they’re so wrapped up they don’t realise.
but when they are being defensive, is that when they try to behave in a superior way?
when they try to make themselves feel superior, do they intentionally try to hurt those they target at’s feelings?

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spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (14 minutes after post)

or ats’

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spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (15 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
Arent they the ones who end up being abusive?

when their controlling behaviour becomes extreme enough, id say yes.
but everyone is insecure to some extent i believe.

Help me with: Im sorry about the last 3 posts, this website is being weird saying they’re unavailable.

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spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (40 minutes after post)

interupting a conversation?

Help me with: Im sorry about the last 3 posts, this website is being weird saying they’re unavailable.

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PomPom 2 #
GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (1 hour after post)

is this about my husbands family? :P

Help me with: to all the people that believe we are under attack from terrorists, thanks for letting the real criminals (the govmt) to erase our human rights

spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (1 hour, 2 minutes after post)

nothing, i didn’t interupt any conversation. he was just insecure and being pretty rude.

Help me with: Im sorry about the last 3 posts, this website is being weird saying they’re unavailable.

spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (1 hour, 2 minutes after post)

PomPom wrote:
is this about my husbands family? :P

lol is that meant to confuse us?

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PomPom 2 #
GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (1 hour, 54 minutes after post)

my whole husbands family and most of my other relatives were just described up in your post, thats why i asked :P althought it was more of a i dunno .. introspective comment

Help me with: to all the people that believe we are under attack from terrorists, thanks for letting the real criminals (the govmt) to erase our human rights

spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (2 hours, 6 minutes after post)

intropective? what does that mean?
and loads of people behave controlling. i not long ago spoke to someone whos having difficulties breaking free from a controlling relationship.

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PomPom 2 #
GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (2 hours, 16 minutes after post)

tell me about it, my whole relatives is like this

Help me with: to all the people that believe we are under attack from terrorists, thanks for letting the real criminals (the govmt) to erase our human rights

spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (2 hours, 18 minutes after post)

ahh that sounds difficult.
i try to stay away from people like that.
usually if i don’t it affects ma self esteem.

Help me with: Im sorry about the last 3 posts, this website is being weird saying they’re unavailable.

PomPom 2 #
GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (2 hours, 20 minutes after post)

i struggled with low self esteem and confidence for ages because i didn’t realise i was being manipulated in this way, the hard way, but i have learned to say no to a degree but its hard when you have been conditioned that way since birth

Help me with: to all the people that believe we are under attack from terrorists, thanks for letting the real criminals (the govmt) to erase our human rights

spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (2 hours, 33 minutes after post)

a lot of people struggle with low self esteem. sooo many do.
people try to manipulate and exploit me
i ordered a second hand book
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sheeps-Clothi…

Help me with: Im sorry about the last 3 posts, this website is being weird saying they’re unavailable.

PomPom 2 #
GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (9 hours, 38 minutes after post)

hey i might just buy that, i need to learn how to cope with my in laws! thanks!

Help me with: to all the people that believe we are under attack from terrorists, thanks for letting the real criminals (the govmt) to erase our human rights

spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (14 hours, 21 minutes after post)

yes :)
and ur display pic is making me hungry! lol

Help me with: Im sorry about the last 3 posts, this website is being weird saying they’re unavailable.

PomPom 2 #
GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (14 hours, 34 minutes after post)

hungry….you would kill a moogle? x_x

Help me with: to all the people that believe we are under attack from terrorists, thanks for letting the real criminals (the govmt) to erase our human rights

spiritedsoul 3 #
Sandgate, G5, GB | 1 year, 4 months ago (20 hours, 18 minutes after post)

LOL its cos its small on here and it looks like a cake with icing and cherry! aha

Help me with: Im sorry about the last 3 posts, this website is being weird saying they’re unavailable.

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Do people who are insecure, become defensive and behave controlling towards others intentially try to hurt them emotionally?

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