life help: I have a question on etiquette. - Help.com

Daniel.Sandberg
offline Verified (3 years, 4 months) Visit Daniel.Sandberg's shoutbox
Storrs Mansfield, CT, US

I have a question on etiquette.

One of my co-workers just had a beautiful baby girl. He is from the Phillipines and I’ve noticed a couple of cultural differences that I won’t get into.

He and his wife have one car between them, which he leaves home for her and takes the bus to work. I try to drive him as much as possible because…. well I guess I’m a nice guy. Anyway, he invites me in a couple of days ago - which I didn’t want to turn down because then I seem unfriendly. He offers my coffee which I again accept and I see the baby, etc., etc.. Then the baby starts crying, the wife is tired she goes to lay down, his older son wakes up and wants to play with him - it was time for me to go.

The coffee though is WAY too hot to drink and it is very important to eat/drink what you are given and not seem wasteful, more so in their culture then American culture. I ended up gulping the coffee as soon as I could - the situation struck me as funny and I wanted to share it/get some feedback. How could I have gotten out of there?

This open post was written 3 years ago | V/U/S: 427, 9, 1 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Daniel.Sandberg may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Daniel.Sandberg is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 4 months and has 31 posts and 178 replies to their name.

Post Tags (14)

guess, beautiful baby, baby girl, baby, girl, wife, car, Coffee, cultural differences, Philippines, Filipino, manners, etiquette, life (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (9)

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C.M.Theisen changed the tags on this post: they were "guess, Coffee, beautiful baby, baby girl, cultural differences, baby, girl, wife, car" 3 years ago.

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sponge102 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 years ago (24 minutes after post)

Oh wow… I would have just sipped the coffee and tried to engage in conversation. You were very polite which is awesome. I think you handled the situation very very well. I give you props

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C.M.Theisen offline Verified User (3 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Providence, RI, US | 3 years ago (29 minutes after post)

You might enjoy these links about Filipino manners and hospitality:
http://www.ehow.com/how_3804_proper-f…
http://www.camperspoint.com/article.p…

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Qzzzz offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Montpelier, MS, US | 3 years ago (44 minutes after post)

You did GOOD…….

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Daniel.Sandberg offline Verified User (3 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Storrs Mansfield, CT, US | 3 years ago (1 hour, 57 minutes after post)

Thanks Theisen, I enjoyed the links.

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hayee74 offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Harlow, E4, GB | 3 years ago (4 days after post)

whats your problum i’m hayee

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Qzzzz offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Montpelier, MS, US | 3 years ago (4 days after post)

I’m confused…

Hayee, did someone offend you? Don’t see where that happened on this post.

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Queen Elizatron 4000 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years ago (4 days, 2 hours after post)

I think you did well, I do the same. My father offers a drink and before I go I suck it up fast because I don’t want to offend him or say his water taste bad.

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ollie-mae offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years ago (4 days, 11 hours after post)

Hi Daniel
I would say you did the right thing…….that is going to his house,it allows him to repay his kindness.
I think he knew you felt uncomfortable,but you we’re still kind to him and did not judge him for his life style!
I really beleive you have a kind heart, and I don’t think I would change a thing …….alot of people feel uncomfortable some time in their lives,when it comes to other people they are not like the person you know and you can’t change that so ……..it sounds to me you have a great co-worker but as far as going to his house for dinner I think I
you had great disapointment…….so the next time he invites in in just thank him and its ok to say no thank-you maybe next time (he’ll understand)most people can’t stand the sound of a crying baby!
I love kids but some times after a long hard day and a little stress added to that …..we’ll you know what I’m saying!

Hugs To You!

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