Love help: I hate being alone. - Help.com

How are you now?

what did u do that make her sick??

Hello?

You’re probably the reason my stomach is upset now, and for all the rain we’re having! Well, no you’re not! Quit blaming yourself for everything! You have a beautiful baby girl, a true gift from God! Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, go to your daughter and give her all the love you can. Things will definitely get better–just stop thinking that everything that goes wrong is your fault!

Hello fubart, my son when he was born he had a congenital heart disease. So the docs made me go home after three days and my little kiddo was left there in the hospital for the first three months of his life.

I was living all by myself. My friends were busy, my family did not know except for my dad but lives far away and i had no job.

He has no father, i chose to not live with him because i knew i would not be happy.

But it is in surviving everyday…seeing your daughter alive is what is most important. It would not be a very nice feeling now that you are alone, but you know what, you can do it. It would take a lot of love to survive it. A lot of love between you and that little kid whose life evolves around you now.

Now you have a beautiful reason to keep on living!

fubartigger1979 wrote:
I don’t know what I did to make her sick. She was 3 months premature. The doctors told me that I had something wrong with my uterus and that could have caused her to be born early. Also I was under so much stress and that contributed to it as well.

awww…don’t need to be depress just be strong and be with her

awww…i just want to hold you right now i see you r in alot of pain…and i have to say i wish i was there to hold you…as far as you new ray of light in your life…you do know thing’s happen for a reason one witch we may never know or understand…i want you to remember that no matter what she will have you…and your all she needs for now…as far as feeling lonely i say tell your family how you feel let them know you need a hug, let them take your pain and help heal you..remember she NEED’S you now and for the rest of her life just hold on and hang in there it will all work out,all my hugs,prayer’s and thought’s

rebek

You can always come here, we’ll talk to you.

Now, don’t you feel better knowing that there are people who care about you, and that IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! Hmmmmm?

Neutra wrote:
You can always come here, we’ll talk to you.

Also it may not be an actual hug but atleast here you will never be alone.

Your baby is going to be the center of your universe. I know that it is very difficult for you to have to wait to bring her home, but you need to spend as much time as you can at the hospital with her. Bonding is what you are after and you will want to learn everything you can from the staff there.
There is a group called, Parents Without Partners, which might be fun for you to check out.
If your sadness does not go away shortly, you need to tell your doctor about it. I am sure that you have heard of post partum depression. You truly need to take care of yourself. Your health is so very important.

wow…what make ur family even think like that…

Give your little girl all of the love and attention that you missed out on.

It’s about her now…

What beautiful name did you pick out for your little princess??

Tell us about her!

Don’t listen to the doctors, it was not your fault. It’s not like you could help having problems with your uterus…and I want you to just stop for a second…whatever it is that you are doing (not physically) just stop. Look at what you are saying…

“I also feel that my life is a complete failure. I am going to be 30 and have nothing to show for it. I know most will say that I have a daughter to show for it. I do and I love her and she is beautiful. But I couldn’t even get that right. I mean, because of me she is sick and will spend the rest of her life with health problems. She doesn’t even have a dad that loves her. I just feel like crying!!!!”

Does this sound like the kind of mother you would want? Someone who is so unsure of herself that can’t even see how blessed she is? You have a home, you have a mother that is letting you stay in her house, and I’m sorry to be so blunt, but you’re soo luck your baby survived being 3 months premature. …and who cares what your mom thinks?? Just watch your baby grow up into the most amazing person, and if anything, she’ll just be stronger if your mom doesn’t pay attention to her…but that just if your mom really doesn’t care, but I’m sure she’ll come around…you just have to be strong! If you feel like you’re in a toxic environment then save up and move out…or confront your sister about this…I’m sorry if this makes you feel bad, but I just think that you should focus more on the fact that you just had a beautiful baby girl instead of your family problems…Good Luck!

I know you’re feeling bad….but we are the same age and I have less to show for it. I know you miss your daughter…but you are so blessed to have her. Only in my wildest dreams would I have a baby.

Please just remember how lucky you are and how many people would love to be you.

Fubar, it is always very hard to “bounce” back after having a baby even a healthy one. We mothers went through what you are going through right now, as someone already said it you are going through a post partum depression and having your baby in the hospital you can’t even hold 24/7 and not having any supportive relatives just add to your depression and makes you feel like a worthless somebody….well, you are absolutely not! It is your mom’s and your relatives’ loss if they treat you differently or not treating you the way you deserve it and your baby! I have to agree with those who told you here that you have to be strong for your little miracle, she has only you and her life is just beginning. Don’t let anyone in your family make you feel less than anybody else. You have us here, friends you can always turn to and I am pretty sure we would give you hugs, and care if we were closer. Yes, you are sad because you can’t hold your daughter 24/7 but that time will come very soon and you will feel fulfilled as a mother. You won’t be a bad mom for her because simply you don’t want to be. Her life will unfold right in front of your eyes and given moments will dictate to you what to do for her life to be better than yours. You will see. Trust yourself and be strong for the two of you!

Please don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t have changed. It is a miracle that she alive and kicking at her state, so do not be disappointed if something goes wrong. Like steff said, many people in the world envy how lucky you are to have a beautiful baby of your own.

But listen to doctors, they have studied hard for at least 11 years before they practice (as I am going through) and they are doing their best to help you!

You wont be a bad mom, that’s how everyone feels…actually from what you’ve been saying, I think you’ll be an amazing mom! Good luck raising the baby!

Hi, asking for help,coming here was a good start to fixing yourself to become the mom you want to be.Although the 100% is unrealistic.mom-maybe for your mom to cope with her grandbaby being in this position she is avoiding getting close to her,unconsciously .we all cope in different ways,which ever is comfortable for us.She may have a big fear of losing another person in her life.Im sure when your daughter comes home ,being healthy,and she gets to know her as a person things will turn around.So, try and cut her some slack.Also, is she included in going to visit her? Maybe she can get to know the baby as a person more if she was involved more…….About you hurting the baby ,you did nothing wrong.its just one of those things.I had the same problem.guilt will not get you anywher but stuck.Im sorry but I hear a pity party in your words.poor pitiful me.why didnt I have a normal pregancy etc…maybe you got a lot more attention before and miss it well,accept it.things are different now,it doesnt matter why or how or who.it just is.If you don’t accept it now you will always be known as a winey baby yourself.Its about fairness.Life is not fair,things happen,the amount of gifts or anything else cannot always and will not be measured out exactly as we want it.Maybe this is your upringing but fault wont help anything,yur an adult and need to face this now so you will know what to do with your daughter when she comes home from school one day telling about when her classmate got to do something she didnt……Sorry about the tough love but if you want to be a good mom now is the time to start.All my best and your daughter is in my prayers :)

Also the strong desire for attention and fairness has led you to jealousy.if you don’t know its one of the sins and it just not a good quality to have,Tell mom and sis that its bothering you but thats all dont make a big deal out of it.just get it out into the open so they know it and let things be.

You’re not alone, you have a beautiful baby girl and even though she’s in the hospital, she is always with you. It’s not your fault she was born premature and is a bit sick; many babies are born premature every day and most make it through everything they’re put up against. You already said she’s strong; she’ll make it through. You have to be there when she needs you, even if your family isn’t always there for you. Don’t let the jealousy get to you because things will get better. Just keep your hopes up and do what you can for your baby right now; be happy.

Use a different score card or measuring system. You are very special:)

You are never, NEVER alone. Now you have a soulmate. And permanant bond with a beautiful soul in yuor daughter. You will NEVER be alone now.

And you have us. We’re here and we love you and care about you.

And God will never leave you alone. He is always there.

Things seem bad now, I’m quite sure they do. Things WILL get better. I promise you this. Maybe not tomorrow. Or next month. Maybe not for a years or two. Everything happens for a reason and you will see it one day.

best wishes and love.

Hi Hon,
First I would like you to do something. Close your eyes, picture you grandma and aunt, take your right hand and place it on your left shoulder, take your left hand and put it on your right shoulder. Keep picturing your grandma and aunt, now - SQUEZZE YOUR shoulders. Your Grandma and aunt are telling you they love you very much! …….

*****BIG HUG FROM ME*******

You are not alone. You have us. We are here for you too. I know it hurts you alot because your mom is not helping you or excited about your child. I wouldn’t worry about her and her negative behavior. You need to put all your energy and focus on getting yourself together so that when your daughter comes hom you will be able to focus on her.

Do you have any friends that you can talk to? Check at the hospital, parenting center or community centers and see if they have a support group for new mom or mom’s with premmies. This will help you be able to have someome to talk to and be able to socialize with other people. It also will get you out the house and away from your mom since that is part of the reason you are so upset.

Ia actually don’t think you are jealous about your mom paying more attention to your sisters baby. I think you are mad because you know it is not fair to your daughter. Your daughter should be treated just as well. However if that is what she choses to do there is little besides telling her what you think that you can do to change her mind. Besides you have better things to focus on.

Don’t have others bring you down. DOn’t give that power over you. You have things that can left you up. You have new life path to focus on.

What are some thing that make you happy? What things do you like to do?

I know it’s not much, but everyone else has had wonderful things to say so all I’m left to do is give you a *hug*

Hey girlie hang in there, things will get better! Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, I didn’t know about that cause I wasn’t on the site for a long time. I kind of understand how you feel, when my oldest was born there were problems and she was in hosp for a while as well. But now she’s almost 10 and perfectly fine, as I’m sure yours will be. Just wanted to show you some love and let ya know I missed you here.
Your friend,
Mitzy

Hello friend.

It seems that I have known you for a life time. It’s only been for over a year but you have been through so much in that space of time.
You have managed to pull through all of them, that is amazing. This is but another trial in life, one which you will win with the prize of having your baby with you.
I am not going to go on about the things others have told you, I do have something that I think important to say to you.

You should look in towards your self and see the wonderful person that you find there, this person is kind and understanding.
This person is some one very special, she is a mother. A person that will always love and cherish a lovely little daughter.
This person must always remember to love herself as well, she matters a lot.

A family is a wonderful thing, no matter how big or small it is. It has an immense strength about it. You say you are thirty and have nothing to show for it. You may be right about this, to your way of thinking. You have the rest of your life to build a wonderful relationship with your very own family.

Be happy that you are this very special person. Be happy that your new, fantistic life has only just begun.

Thep summarized it for you and for everyone here. What a beautiful post thep, if I were in her situation, just by reading your response would have made me feel much better. Beautiful post!

I send you both lots of love. I am going to look at your little angel.

I saw your myspace site and both of you are so beautiful! I liked your site and the music too. Who is the singer? I’ve heard that song before but I can’t remember the name of the singer. You look like a very happy mom and one very beautiful too! Please keep posting pictures of your baby, now she is our friend too!

I sent you an add request =]
You’re lil girl is so adorable!!