I am losing my grip and I’m so tired.
I need help, but I find myself still trying to help others and I’m spread more and more thin. I’m on the verge, but I’m not sure of what… my grandfather died in April, my grandma is in the hospital, my father suffers from chronic health problems stemming from a series of strokes he had, my mom is in Florida looking after my grandmother and I’m in charge of caring for my younger sisters up here. I’m a full time junior- at least I was until I got a notice from the school charging me for part of my aid after I went to my grandpa’s funeral- even though I told my advisers and my professors financial aid didn’t know (and I didn’t know they had to be notified- my adviser told me I was fine) and they returned part of my aid for not having any final grades at the cut off date ( I returned from the funeral after). I took my final exams (after the date) and made the Dean’s List, but it was already too late. I finally got awarded Work Study after 2 years of applying and emailing and working with companies that wanted me to quit school- only now I won’t be able to use it. I can’t pay the school balance which means I can’t enroll and not enrolling means I can’t work for the school- I’ve been working and selling all my items and I’m still short. I know I have to give up but I feel like I’m choking- school is all I have it is the only thing that’s mine. Any money I’ve had for 6 years went into caring for my sisters and the house when mommy had to care for my grandparents. I have bills out the wazoo- my store closed and my city is going under- school was my shining light- my beacon. I feel like I’m dying, choking… aaaaaghhhh and my family- I love them so much but they think it will be ok- they don’t understand the full implications. There is a good chance I won’t be able to go back for years if ever and my student loans will have to be repaid immediately (without graduating I have less than stellar chances in a town that’s shutting down and I can’t move). I’m tapped out and tired and everywhere I look more and more people want more and more from me… I’m just tired and had to say that I’m just tired even if it is to strangers on a sight that could completely ignore me at least I got to say I’m tired.
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Since writing this post knightsin135 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. knightsin135 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 4 months and has 1 posts and 9 replies to their name.
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