.. Thats what I am.
I’m a college student & my parents are paying my way thru school. I appreciate what they are doing for me & at the same time I’m really not happy. I am disappointed with my schooling and feel like it is a waste of my time. I go to a very well known college, it is very challenging & know it will supply me with job opportunities once I’ve graduated. I feel so GUILTY that I have these wonderful parents helping me thru school & I’m still not feeling productive. I don’t mean to be so ungrateful, I wish I felt some purpose in the direction I’ve chosen. People always tell me that college is the best years of life. If this is true I feel even more hopeless. I want to finish school, but how can I expect to ever be happy if I am not even close to being happy or satisfied with myself during “the best years of my life”. If these are the best years of my life it is because I am young & my life is a blank slate. I could do anything. But what is that to me when I spend my young days of opportunity doing NOTHING. I help NO ONE and contribute NOTHING. I sit in a class room & listen to teachers assign pointless assignments that teach me pointless NOTHINGS. I don’t want to live in this world anymore if things become even less meaningful after school. Someone help me. I wish I could forget these feelings and feel some meaning in this world. Am I just a brat & need to stop complaining? I told my mother how I feel & I know she thinks I am being ungrateful. She never had the opportunity to go to college & I know she wanted to. She says I need to just get through the pains of school so I will have the opportunity to do something meaningful later on in life. This is all backwards to me!! I am SO FRUSTRATED!! Why am I spending my energetic years locked in a library?? I want to be out helping & giving & living! So, I guess I’m a dreamer. I want too much. I am a spoiled brat.
Since writing this post chada may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. chada is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 12 months and has 5 posts and 16 replies to their name.
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