Tellllllll hiiiiiimmmmm!
There are very few problems ina relationship that can’t be solved by upfront talking about them.
just send him that message
xD
be like i wrote this on help.com
(message)
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I know JUST how you feel! It’s like “Well if you’re going to LIE to me why don’t you just call me the Queen of Egypt!” -.-
The guy just wants you to feel as good about you as he does. . .
To the guy - you are beautiful.
Just to us, it feels like a lie ’cause we don’t see it in ourselves.
Don’t take this the wrong way, But would you prefer we don’t say anything? or say some sort of a balance or what?
When i ask that i seriously want to know. I’m not just being sarcastic
u should call him beautiful! mind game it
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Fever Dream wrote:
Don’t take this the wrong way, But would you prefer we don’t say anything? or say some sort of a balance or what?When i ask that i seriously want to know. I’m not just being sarcastic
It’s weird with me. Some compliments go straight to my heart like “little one” and “babe”, but if I’m called a pet name that refers to my looks then I automatically think of all my flaws and how the pet name isn’t true. I think it’s just how women are. Unless they’re VERY sure of themselves.
I’m takin’ notes on this. . .
u should really think about what beauty really is…
sometimes its not always in looks
but i’m sure he thinks ur really pretty if hes calling u it all the time..
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My favorite pet name ever was “My pet”. A lot of women think it’s a derogatory name, but I never felt that way. I thought it was about the most adoring thing I’d ever been called. But that’s just me :P
hes just insecure, scared of losing you. you gotta tell him that youd prefer it if hed just stop saying it so often so that it actually means something when he does.
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He means it when he calls you ‘beautiful’ because you are to him. Be glad. But, if you must, just gently tell him otherwise.
Anonymous edited this post 4 years, 9 months ago. Read the previous text »
My boyfriend constantly tells me i’m beautiful, and i hate it.
I know it sounds dreadful and ungrateful and a whole lot of other bad adjectives, but, i really wish he’d stop saying it. or at least say it yes. he doesn’t call me by name, he refers to me either by my pet name (which i won’t reveal) or as “beautiful”. the problem i have with it is that i don’t think i’m beautiful - i in fact hate most things about my appearance - and every time he calls me beautiful it’s like he’s driving home that hatred. which isn’t what he intends to do. he knows that i don’t like my appearance, and he’s probably trying to convince me that i’m pretty. and i hate complaining about this, it sounds petty and shallow. i also don’t really know where this post is going, or even why i’m posting it. i don’t know. so i’ll stop now. helow . your problem. there are more girls out there ,that they wish there husband would even look at them. alot of my friend wifes told me that love is the way you exspess your self. do you fill ike he is just teasing you. my girl friend is not a hot chich. we have bee\n with each other for 12 years. i love her . but not in the way she wants me to love her. but that life. my last mariages.the word love fill fill the room with happinness .the word buityfiul mean happy author marh whitworth ps take it in stride. and let it be positve.
Anonymous
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4 years, 9 months ago (14 hours, 40 minutes after post)
Fever Dream - I too am a believer in talking things out in relationships. But he doesn’t seem to understand when I try and explain why I wish he’d stop saying it. He says, “I wouldn’t say it if you weren’t,” and then continues to say it :/ And I know he means it. I just can’t seem to see it myself.
gothic_pock - Haha… I actually do that sometimes. He finds it awkward :p And I know beauty isn’t all about looks. But I don’t like much about my personality either. Which kind of makes it worse. :p
Chameleon - You’ve pretty much hit the nail on the head. That’s what it’s like. And it’s kind of funny that your favourite pet name was something that might be considered derogatory… mine is often considered bad also. But I like it anyway.
jkdkjdjkkf - Maybe that’s true. He has shown fear of losing me in the past.
Ashlee - Thanks :) I do appreciate that he thinks I’m beautiful. It’s just that he refers to it way too much.
would you prefer your boyfriend calling you UGLY instead of beautifull.
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my bf calls me like that 2. .and its not that i dont like it, but sometimes i feel like he’s just sayin that, so i tell him ‘dont call me like that babe’. .he just smiles, kisses me and whispers again tellin me im beautiful. .then it feels so amazing. . .
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I have the EXACT same problam. I thanks him and compliment him back. If he knows I dont like it he will say it anyway because thats what he thinks of me, and i think he is gorgeous but he doesnt think so. Its the exact same thing
Take care. x
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Fever Dream wrote:
Don’t take this the wrong way, But would you prefer we don’t say anything? or say some sort of a balance or what?
When i ask that i seriously want to know. I’m not just being sarcastic
my husband always says that i’m beautiful only when i say that i hate the way i look or that i hate my body.
i also hate the term beautiful mainly cuz i don’t feel beautiful. but if he were to point out specific things about me and tell me that he loves them or tells me what is good about certain things about me then that may make me feel better.
that might sound confusing so…
for example. i love his eyes. And when he makes a certain look with his eyes and the little lines around his eyes turn up and make it look like his eyes are smiling, it just makes me melt. i can’t help but smile when i see that. and i tell him things like that. and it makes him smile when i say stuff like that, which i love as well. if he would do stuff like that for me then i’d feel like he actually has attraction for me and doesn’t just love me and want to make me feel better.
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Girl, I know EXACTLY how you feel. My boyfriend constantly tells me I am beautiful and to be honest I hate it. Mostly because he knows I dont like the way I look, which is probably why he says it in the first place… IDK what to say really other than I know how you feel. But hey at least we have boyfriends who think we are pretty and tells us! some girls have boyfriends who straight up think they are not pretty…..so i guess we should count our blessings right?!
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I will tell you this, its a blessing to have a guy think that your beautiful if like you say you are not. Especially since this guy means it. It probably bothers him equally that you don’t think of yourself as beautiful as he is seeing you.
I know beauty is not the only thing that should start or hold a relationship. Understand that his way of saying he loves you is to compliment you. He may feel loved when he’s affirmed (not necessarily in looks but in what he’s capable of) so he can’t understand why you don’t feel his love in this way.
I have the opposite going on. I too have low self esteem. I’m boney, have frizzy/very curly hair, athletically straight shoulders with not enough butt or hips to balance etc. I need to know that he is not only attracted to me but that he finds me beautiful. A person can be attractive but you aren’t necessarily attracted to that person. When I’ve communicated this to my husband he says “you are attractive. You should know that or I wouldn’t have married you”. He and I know that thats a bit shallow but he’s being honest (among other qualities that he has no problem praising me for having). When it comes to beauty he has never said to me I’m beautiful, not once. And only once ever did he tell me I looked nice…and we were dating. I don’t let my appearance go and I get looks from other guys. I don’t care about other guy’s opinions. I want to know that the guy that sees me for all I am, in my state of vulnerability, thinks that I’m still beautiful.
Maybe if you were “affirmed” of your beauty by other guys you would see that he’s not lying (not to say that you are never affirmed!). Some guys have “weird” tastes and there are women of all kinds to meet those tastes. Just because you dont match up to the photoshop pictures of celebrities, models or even lucky women who are just blessed with natural beauty (even though you can never tell whats natural anymore)…does not mean that you are not beautiful. I’m sure you have features/qualities that other girls have silently envied in you. Don’t count your worth or beauty based on the things you dont have.
And even if you don’t believe it, you are blessed with your boyfriend. I on the other hand feel cursed in this area of my marriage. Its humiliating
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when my boyfriend calls me beutiful just be grateful and say aww babe ur so sweet or say thank you??
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I have this problem too. I have CP, I am not ugly, but I think because I had to work so hard to do everything that came easy to others…..I’d rather them see that
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you shouldnt judge your beauty on the things you are missing, but the things you are blessed with
It sounds like you are really messed up. You have a problem with yourself and he doesn’t. If you really love this guy, breakup with him before you damage him.
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How do u know that hes not hiding something? Maybe he tells you that because he wants you to think you are the only on in his life? Idk ..im going through the same thing
gothic_pock
Hush
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Ashlee
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