Fizz invited 77 users to read this post 1 year, 4 months ago.
~LazyDaze~ invited 1 user to read this post 1 year, 4 months ago.
It’s easy. I learned the hard way to not make posts about your personal life and basically make everything a joke. Once you do that coming to help.com becomes a pleasure, not a chore.
Although it does somewhat contradict the ethos of the website, but you know, sh*t happens.
The King wrote:
It’s easy. I learned the hard way to not make posts about your personal life and basically make everything a joke. Once you do that coming to help.com becomes a pleasure, not a chore.
Thats where help is going wrong.
‘abuse’ is kind o a strong word
i do agree with fizz we are all to blame… we should be more aware , we should thiking more before we talk and put ppl into pain , why should ur thought and stuff be accepted and not others… just as you ppl have a point of view so we all have one as well and i think they should all be respect yet all are to blame… where are the mod and specially the web master of this website? how could a problem like trolls be going on for so long and instead of decreasing they are increasing… solutions must be seeked and seeked fast before help.com becomes helpless , at desperate time desperate measures must be taken…
GuerillaRadio wrote:
‘abuse’ is kind o a strong word
Yes, it is a strong word, but it does apply.
~LazyDaze wrote:
The King wrote:
It’s easy. I learned the hard way to not make posts about your personal life and basically make everything a joke. Once you do that coming to help.com becomes a pleasure, not a chore.
Thats where help is going wrong.
No. What’s going wrong with help.com is the fact that when you do share your problems no one cares. The people on this website are fickle idiots that take it all way too seriously, or people that have tried and got burned like myself. Perfect example Lazy, I recall losing you as a “friend” because you didn’t like my avatar. Hmm. Another interesting observation is that you didn’t think to ask me why I act like I do, i.e. why I no longer share and make everything a joke. I’d say that was the problem with help.com. You care about leaving your ridiculously sweet little posts about smiles and bunnies whilst ignoring anyone’s real problems when they smack you in the face with them, and so when someone needs help they get ignored and end up with diabetes.
define the different kinds of help abuse.
By anon abuse do you mean people abusing anons or anons abusing normal users? And what about Long-Term User abuse?
I don’t think that there is nothing being done, I think the Mods care and do their best. I also think that just because the Admin isn’t talking and updating us every step of the way, that doesn’t mean he isn’t working. We can’t play the blame game, we can’t lay off all the troubles of this site on someone else, we all play are part in making this site good or bad.
The King wrote:
~LazyDaze wrote:
The King wrote:
It’s easy. I learned the hard way to not make posts about your personal life and basically make everything a joke. Once you do that coming to help.com becomes a pleasure, not a chore.
Thats where help is going wrong.
No. What’s going wrong with help.com is the fact that when you do share your problems no one cares. The people on this website are fickle idiots that take it all way too seriously, or people that have tried and got burned like myself. Perfect example Lazy, I recall losing you as a “friend” because you didn’t like my avatar. Hmm. Another interesting observation is that you didn’t think to ask me why I act like I do, i.e. why I no longer share and make everything a joke. I’d say that was the problem with help.com. You care about leaving your ridiculously sweet little posts about smiles and bunnies whilst ignoring anyone’s real problems when they smack you in the face with them, and so when someone needs help they get ignored and end up with diabetes.
Rofl have fun with your diabetes!
Fizz wrote:
I don’t think that there is nothing being done, I think the Mods care and do their best. I also think that just because the Admin isn’t talking and updating us every step of the way, that doesn’t mean he isn’t working. We can’t play the blame game, we can’t lay off all the troubles of this site on someone else, we all play are part in making this site good or bad.
Fizz maybe you should join the Knights. We are getting things done.
What missions have the knights undergone King Rowass?
Rowass… I mean both of those, there are many ways the anon option gets abused.
Shouts get abused for fighting and there is also the reading of other peoples shouts.
The Mods take a good bit of abuse!
Post get abused by people hijacking them to make jokes, when the users has posted in good faith.
I don’t really need to list everything that happens here…you all know what I’m talking about and in part we are all to blame.
The King wrote:
~LazyDaze wrote:
The King wrote:
It’s easy. I learned the hard way to not make posts about your personal life and basically make everything a joke. Once you do that coming to help.com becomes a pleasure, not a chore.
Thats where help is going wrong.
No. What’s going wrong with help.com is the fact that when you do share your problems no one cares. The people on this website are fickle idiots that take it all way too seriously, or people that have tried and got burned like myself. Perfect example Lazy, I recall losing you as a “friend” because you didn’t like my avatar. Hmm. Another interesting observation is that you didn’t think to ask me why I act like I do, i.e. why I no longer share and make everything a joke. I’d say that was the problem with help.com. You care about leaving your ridiculously sweet little posts about smiles and bunnies whilst ignoring anyone’s real problems when they smack you in the face with them, and so when someone needs help they get ignored and end up with diabetes.
well sorry to tell ya i never seen bunnies in a post sorry to disappoint you… problems arent being ignored even if they are , it is still better than what you are doing , so i guess your in no position to put judgment… keep ur silly responses for urself…
Commander Salamander wrote:
What missions have the knights undergone King Rowass?
am an the famous ” Archer Tricky ” but have no idea what does the knight stand up and do , other than fight :D
Commander Salamander wrote:
What missions have the knights undergone King Rowass?
They are still in training. You should know that Mr. Wizard.
tricky wrote:
well sorry to tell ya i never seen bunnies in a post sorry to disappoint you… problems arent being ignored even if they are , it is still better than what you are doing , so i guess your in no position to put judgment… keep ur silly responses for urself…
Keep your self righteous responses to yourself “famous” Tricky
What shall the first operation be?
The King wrote:
tricky wrote:
well sorry to tell ya i never seen bunnies in a post sorry to disappoint you… problems arent being ignored even if they are , it is still better than what you are doing , so i guess your in no position to put judgment… keep ur silly responses for urself…
Keep your self righteous responses to yourself “famous” Tricky
are you done ?
Commander Salamander wrote:
What shall the first operation be?
Don’t Hijack Fizz’s post.
See this is what I’m talking about…I make a post in good faith, but this is what happens…it’s meant to be a discussion about how we can do our own personal part to help this site, but it turns into something else.
Fizz wrote:
See this is what I’m talking about…I make a post in good faith, but this is what happens…it’s meant to be a discussion about how we can do our own personal part to help this site, but it turns into something else.
It is not a horrible post yet, more an interesting one, where we enjoy ourselves, and don’t sugar coat.
I think that abuse of this kind of website is always going to be here. A number of factors will contribute.
There are so many different types of users here, many of them very sick people. The medication some are on, make them naturaly agressive, prone to thinking that people are automaticaly against them etc.
Abusing the website, what does that mean?
I think that showing the possitive things the website has to offer, would make it a better website. We can only be responsible for our own actions.
I think the website is fine, there will always be some, that upset others and those that get easily upset.
As long as we all try to do the best we can, is what matters.
Perhaps us all learning to respect each other might be a good starting point.
Fizz wrote:
See this is what I’m talking about…I make a post in good faith, but this is what happens…it’s meant to be a discussion about how we can do our own personal part to help this site, but it turns into something else.
Personally I like to have a good time. Like right now me and my darling wife, Queen Cassandra, are shouting eachother. Yesterday my shouts were 76. Now there 232. This is the only post I have really responded too. I like to help, but if I’m not needed I have fun.
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tricky wrote:
are you done ?
Are you done? It works both ways you know. Besides, it’s not as if I was addressing any of my previous comments to you, and yet you felt you simply must become involved.
You see? This is the problem with help.com. People that take themselves way too seriously and make posts about “What’s wrong with help.com”, and feel that they must be champions of the site and get involved when no one asked them to. Even I am angry now. Posts like this bring it all to the surface. Let sleeping dogs lie and have more fun. That is what I intend to do now.
This what I’m talking about…Being responsible for our own actions and doing our best.
We don’t always do our best and that includes me, we sometimes get caught up in the silly side or our debates and disagreements and then we complain about what the admin and mods aren’t doing. I’m not saying they are perfect..nobody is perfect, but we all have to do our part to.
This is supposed to be a site where people come to get help with personal problems…it’s not a debate site or a joke site, but a lot of times we don’t take this site seriously enough.
I’m as much to blame for that as anyone….yes, I made a bunny post.
~LazyDaze wrote:
Should help just be fun and not serious anymore?All just posting things like this~http://help.com/post/184515-just-a-thought#myLast
I got ‘told off’ for pointing out that one new user (been on three hours) had made 4 ‘chat posts’ in that time. I pointed out the chat button, and explained that other posts for help were being ignored, but I got told to leave and them them chat.
I have no problem with lighthearted posts, just the spamming of so many at once, with no reciprocity in helping as well. There needs to be a balance.
The King wrote:
tricky wrote:
are you done ?
Are you done? It works both ways you know. Besides, it’s not as if I was addressing any of my previous comments to you, and yet you felt you simply must become involved.You see? This is the problem with help.com. People that take themselves way too seriously and make posts about “What’s wrong with help.com”, and feel that they must be champions of the site and get involved when no one asked them to. Even I am angry now. Posts like this bring it all to the surface. Let sleeping dogs lie and have more fun. That is what I intend to do now.
lazy is my friend ^_^ so when you talk about her it’s like talking about me… but i dont expect you to understand anywayz…
help.com problem are ppl who are like you….
Jeb…Yeah, I agree…we do need laughter, but there is a time and a place for it.
Jebus Zeus (CoalMan) wrote:
Laughter brings the focus away from anger, guilt, stress and negative emotions in a more beneficial way than other mere distractions.
It definately helps. Especially when the helpers have have a hard time with so many suicide posts etc and need to have a ‘break’ from it. But there needs to be balance.
Jebus Zeus (CoalMan) wrote:
Laughter brings the focus away from anger, guilt, stress and negative emotions in a more beneficial way than other mere distractions.
maybe we need to seperate the laugh post from the seriouse ones
So. I guess we need some rules for our silliness?
Is that what you are proposing?
Laughter can connect people, but it also rips them down, if used irresponsibly.
I’m not saying cut off the laughter.
Fizz wrote:
Laughter can connect people, but it also rips them down, if used irresponsibly.
I’m not saying cut off the laughter.
What are you saying then?
I’m saying we should be more responsible with it, with that and a lot of other things.
Maybe someone else can say it better.
Anonymous
#
1 year, 4 months ago (52 minutes after post)
What can I do on Help.com?
The concept behind Help.com is easy. This is an online community for asking questions and giving advice.
There is no limit to the types of questions you can ask. If another user has relevant experience or knowledge to share, they will volunteer a reply. The answers aren’t always instant — especially if research is involved — so check back occasionally.
Ask any question you want. Discuss any topic. If your attitude is positive and constructive, any opinion is considered helpful and worth expressing.
============
FAQ. http://help.com/faq#sect1
Doesn’t this say it all?
i think the main concern here is trolls and stuff not the joke posts…
Anonymous wrote:
What can I do on Help.com?
The concept behind Help.com is easy. This is an online community for asking questions and giving advice.
There is no limit to the types of questions you can ask. If another user has relevant experience or knowledge to share, they will volunteer a reply. The answers aren’t always instant — especially if research is involved — so check back occasionally.
Ask any question you want. Discuss any topic. If your attitude is positive and constructive, any opinion is considered helpful and worth expressing.
============
FAQ. http://help.com/faq#sect1
Doesn’t this say it all?
Beautiful. Perfect reply.
Commander Salamander wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
What can I do on Help.com?
The concept behind Help.com is easy. This is an online community for asking questions and giving advice.
There is no limit to the types of questions you can ask. If another user has relevant experience or knowledge to share, they will volunteer a reply. The answers aren’t always instant — especially if research is involved — so check back occasionally.
Ask any question you want. Discuss any topic. If your attitude is positive and constructive, any opinion is considered helpful and worth expressing.
============
FAQ. http://help.com/faq#sect1
Doesn’t this say it all?
Well I can do more then that.
1. Form an order of Knights (still accepting)
2. Get married to the most beautiful girl ever.
3. Talk to that girl.
4. I love Cassandra
5. Cassandra is really pretty
6. What was this list about.
Beautiful. Perfect reply.
Jebus Zeus (CoalMan) wrote:
we know that was your anon reply there commander lol
hehehe lol :D
No…I definetly don’t mean just the jokes. I mean a lot of things.
King Rowass wrote:
Commander Salamander wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
What can I do on Help.com?
The concept behind Help.com is easy. This is an online community for asking questions and giving advice.
There is no limit to the types of questions you can ask. If another user has relevant experience or knowledge to share, they will volunteer a reply. The answers aren’t always instant — especially if research is involved — so check back occasionally.
Ask any question you want. Discuss any topic. If your attitude is positive and constructive, any opinion is considered helpful and worth expressing.
============
FAQ. http://help.com/faq#sect1
Doesn’t this say it all?
What the hell? How did that happen?
Well I can do more then that.
1. Form an order of Knights (still accepting)
2. Get married to the most beautiful girl ever.
3. Talk to that girl.
4. I love Cassandra
5. Cassandra is really pretty
6. What was this list about.
Beautiful. Perfect reply.
Something is messed up.
I wrote this:
Well I can do more then that.
1. Form an order of Knights (still accepting)
2. Get married to the most beautiful girl ever.
3. Talk to that girl.
4. I love Cassandra
5. Cassandra is really pretty
6. What was this list about.
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I’m not sure I understand why I would repost the topic. Wouldn’t that just overload the board? I think this is enough from me, for now.
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I don’t intend to read all of it, I got tired a bit down the reply lane.
But I noted some stuff, and I have one question.
To start with, I think the post is good, and it may be needed.
Then I don’t think we are all to blame. Many of us don’t abuse. Everybody could unintentionally hurt somebody, but that is not abuse.
And to the King: Members are not at all without care. Most members care a lot, and they go very far in their attempts to help somebody. Some members came here to have fun only, and they may be very visible at times. But most of us are very serious.
My question is about something Fizz wrote a bit down among the replies: “…and there is also the reading of other peoples shouts.”
Should reading other people’s shouts be abuse? My shoutbox is open, and I expect anybody who is interested to read it. Most “private” stuff I write in somebody’s shoutbox is so uninteresting to anybody else, so it is “safe” by that reason. But if I want to write something really private, i.e. something that I don’t want third party to read, I will write it in an email instead.
Please correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that the shoutbox is there to be read!
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Anthrax wrote:
I have a few easy fix ideas for some of the problems. I know at least one of these is in consideration already:
Posting abuse: We need to have an open way to post questions on the site, so there’s no good way to fix that.
Not that you need my agreement, lol, but I do agree, but still I think there should be a little more responsibility in making post. I mean there are times when you can’t even find a post of someone actually needing help, because there are so many silly post glogging the site.
Anthrax wrote:
Reply abuse: Open to post, verification required to reply.
Sounds interesting.
Anthrax wrote:
Edit abuse: Only poster can edit.
For Sure!
Anthrax wrote:
Anon abuse: Remove function.
I don’t know about that, I don’t use the feature, but I’m sure there are good uses for it and not the nonsense it most often gets used for.
Anthrax wrote:
Invite abuse: Limit invites to 15 (not everyone needs to, or is interested in, seeing your post)
That’s a really good idea!
Anthrax wrote:
Shout abuse: If you don’t have manners, at least develop some tact.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah have tact and quit being so darn nosey!! Major issue around here, to many people reading other peoples shouts!
Anthrax wrote:
User abuse: See “shout abuse”. Otherwise ban (less tolerance).
Yeah!
Anthrax wrote:
Mod abuse: See “User abuse”.
Yeah!
Anthrax wrote:
Admin abuse: Good luck finding an admin… lol
lol
Oops I just did something that is also abused….quote abuse!
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The very opening of a post can be seen as an invitation for replies, from anybody who feels like saying something on the matter.
But that somebody must be duly respectful to others, using common sense.
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BD, there is not really a definite answer on that. Some of the posts from unhappy but also insecure people, would not be posted if they could not be anonymous.
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This post isn’t about what works and doesn’t work, it’s not about blaming the Mods or the Admin….It’s about EVERYONE of us…doing our part and not just expecting someone else to make improvements or moaning because there aren’t being improvements being made!
I wish I had better words to use. I know one thing, I didn’t make this post to start a fight or a debate.
Does anyone know what personal responsibiliy means?
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I agree with every thing Anthrax just said :S
Also the mods cant possibly check every post that is made in 1 day.
We need the users help! we need you all to be a little bit more tactful and a little less willing to make a good post in to a joke (like this 1 was at the beginning) we also do not need Knights/Armies/What ever the hell it is your doing! we just need you to report some thing if it is bad. We will check it and act upon what we see. We need your help. Yes maybe the Mods do have all the powers to make this a good site - but we dont hold the key to success if every body on the site is looking for another mole hill to turn in to a mountain.
Just my 2 cents
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awesome post btw Sophie - sorry the code is still buggered up :S thank you - I appreciate what you are trying to do (you and Fizz)
Ok, I got half way through the replies and I just can’t read anymore! Fizz, personally I don’t complain about the mods or admins, but for those that do, I do agree with you. And I’m so sorry that some have chosen to display the very act you’re describing right here in your own post! How…. redundant?! Ironic?! Idk, pick one, I guess. Awesome post though, good point! :D
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To BD, regarding anonymity:
BD, that is not so. What you say sounds logical, but a desparate person has his/her own logics. I have seen several anonymous posts of this kind, posts which I believed were very serious.
It is true that we may not be the most qualified people to talk to in the worst cases. But who has ever seen a suicidal person look for help from the most qualified personnel? If you look at the replies, you will also see that we are trying to convince the person in question to look for help from competent therapists. We also try to have the person lift the anonymity so we at least have a name to talk to. But if the anonymous option was not there, some of those posts may not have appeared at all. That does not mean that those posts are fakes.
This place may be the wrong place for the most severe cases, that is true. But this place at least exists, and also severe cases come here. It is far better that they come here and talk to somebody, than to not come anywhere and talk to nobody!
And that cases may be serious, is proved by the simple fact that some members indeed committed suicide!
We cannot turn our backs to that fact and say: “well, they had it coming because they went to the wrong place”
The similar goes for the local priest on-call, or the local on-call women or child advisors. They all have the option to be called anonymously, by the simple reason that some needy people would otherwise not call at all.
I flagged Danielsori’s reply yesterday, in DoubleO’s post http://help.com/post/92923-im-scared#…
about her worries for her health.
Stating “You should die a horrible death” to somebody in despair is lower than low, and he should be banned.
I also gve the link in this post about abuse, but I saw no comments.
Where are your comments?
Are you too occupied talking about principles and methods, to follow links?
And also the mods seem a bit occupied, because that reply is still there.
Or is it just me, finding that reply outmost inappropriate and utterly evil?
My first ever post was anon. And I wouldn’t have posted if i knew i HAD to register. Because I came here from typing “help” into google. And I knew nothing…I had no idea how registering would benefit me-I was desperate….i didn’t have TIME to register because I needed someone.
The anon function is brilliant.
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Why? Whats wrong with having anons?
Sounds too complicated to me.
If people don’t want to “stand behind” there words, so what? Thats their problem not yours at the end of the day.
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Well just sift through it like the rest of us :P
Thanks Ditzy, I think you get what I’m saying.
I’ve been thinking about other words I could use to try to describe what’s on my mind.
I guess what I am saying is sort of like “Pay It Forward”, the site has done good things for you, so you pay the site back by doing your part in making site improvements. We aren’t powerless on this site, we don’t have to accept all of the bad, we have the power to change the bad into good.
We have the power to:
Make post that are helpful and good for the site.
Make replies that are helpful and respectful to the poster.
We don’t have to edit someone elses post, just because we don’t like their grammer.
We have the power to only use the Anon feature when we really need help, but are afraid to post as ourselves. We have to power to be courteous to those that do post Anon, even if we don’t know their motivations.
We have the power not to send out invitations to every post we make, whether it is serious or silly. We have the power to use the invite feature responsibly.
We have the power not to fight on shouts, or read shout conversations of others just because we are nosey.
We have the power to be respectful to other users, to the Mods and to the Admin (when he’s around, hehe).
We do have power on this site and we should use that power responsibly!
I agree with everything you said Fizz.
That is the only downfall to thi site, that I can see, is the abuse of all the functions we are ableto use.
Just because we can doesn’t mean we have to all of the time. Those functions are their to help and improve this site but the over use of them can also be unhelpful.
I think the abuse of the invites is what annoys me the most, I have stopped reading them now only becuase of the people who do over use them.
I have in the past been invited to a post not to support the poster but to join or help in an argument the invitee had got into on a post.. Now that is abuse.
I also agree with everything Fizz said, except for the nosey peaks into conversations. I have done it sometimes, but not for selfish reasons (yes, also for selfish reasons when I checked about somebody spreading lies about me).
But I do it when I worry about a member. As an example, there was this member who came to the site as a small and scared girl, needing help. She got help, things went OK and she became very popular here. But sometimes she vented new problems and since I felt somewhat attached to her, I worried a lot.
As most of us, I want to help when I can. I at least believe that I may be encouraging when I engage, but that also takes time.
So a convenient way is to look into the post in question, replies and available shout conversations. This girl is popular and got a lot of help from a lot of members, so there was no need for me to engage except for by a short greeting. Why should I repeat what a lot of others already said? She was doing well without me!
In another case it was a very talkative member who suddenly got quieter. I cannot explain why but I just got the feeling that there was real trouble at hand. I almost panicked and was prepared to go around the world to help her, so I of course looked everywhere for her, including in her and others’ shoutboxes, and I asked around for her.
Now things turned out OK in the end, but she told me that it was almost spooky because I had been right!
I conclude that if the shoutboxes were meant to be more private, they would have been locked for other than the owner!
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Mas, you are really GREAT at dishing it out, so many times I have seen it now, you have even done it to me.
You told me I had to much time on my hands and even had the nerve to call me weird when I was offering helpful advice, I even had to walk away because you were so far up your own **** it was untrue.
People are people and no one is perfect, I know that, others know that but do you?
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I’m very sad that people have used this post as an outlet for their disagreements with each other and it is a prime example of what I was posting about. I wished that those involved in the argument would reread what has been said and realize the abuse they have done. I’m really asking that you please stick to the topic and keep your personal opinions about another user to yourself on this post, if you feel the need to speak to the individual about your problem with them, and then please do so in shouts, but please do not take this post off topic.
There seems to be a lot of irony at help. Posts written to gather ideas about improving the site, seem to have the opposite effect, because someone is a bit over-sensitive *sigh*
However, like you said Fizz, it is us, the users that need to start taking some action instead of sitting around hoping that the mods/admins will do something. I guess what the BETTER members can do, is just use this place like it was designed for; asking for and giving help. I have lost count on the number of times I have seen two users getting on well and then the next day someone says 1 tiny thing, and the place is in an uproar.
There is a society of decent users here and I think we all know who they are. We just need to try and keep that society strong. We can do it as long as people just act a bit maturely about it. If someone does offend you, maybe politely ask about it, using shouts. If they give an abusive reply, then ignore them in the future. If it has stressed you out, go punch a wall or have cigarette or something. Just don’t release your stres in posts.
We ALL know what we want from this site and if we just start to pull our finger out, we can reach that goal. Maybe if all the arguing between the decent users goes, the mods/admins may be able to deal with the trolls more effectively. If I have offended someone, PLEASE SHOUT ME! Don’t hijack the post.
K to the m-f'ing Ing
JesusMurphy
tricky
Commander Ikari
live4life
Anubis
Rowass (The Great)
molotok
Ditzy
tmpy~is~back
elysium