marriage help: What should you do if your husband forgets your wedding anniversary? - Help.com

Well, you could take a look at the stress he’s been under lately. Here’s what used to happen to me . . . I’d be looking at the calendar and thinking about an anniversary date, and then almost forget it the day or two before the anniversary!

NOW, did YOU “remember” the anniversary date and do anything special for him, or did you put the whole thing on him?

Honestly, there’s not much you can do.

Women tend to remember dates and special occasions via default. It’s just uncommon for a male to remember them.

However, if it’s the first time he’s forgotten, perhaps maybe take it a little easier on him. He could be under a lot of stress, and it might have just completelt slipped his mind.

hmmm how does he forget that day OMG!!!

GraceAndShadow wrote:
Honestly, there’s not much you can do.Women tend to remember dates and special occasions via default. It’s just uncommon for a male to remember them.However, if it’s the first time he’s forgotten, perhaps maybe take it a little easier on him. He could be under a lot of stress, and it might have just completelt slipped his mind.

Sexist

you have to expect that from men. They do not remember anniversary dates ect. like women do.

Remind him. It happens, it isn’t a big deal. The more important issue is that he MARRIED you. He vowed to spend the rest of his life with you. Is it really fair to get angry with him for forgetting a date on a calender?

And how was that sexist anon?

Anonymous wrote:

GraceAndShadow wrote:
Honestly, there’s not much you can do.Women tend to remember dates and special occasions via default. It’s just uncommon for a male to remember them.However, if it’s the first time he’s forgotten, perhaps maybe take it a little easier on him. He could be under a lot of stress, and it might have just completelt slipped his mind.

Sexist

How is that sexist? I’m female! LOL.

My Fiance remembers ALL the dates. I, do not. I’m the woman, but my life is over run with lots of appointments and stuff.

How many years has it been?
Give him a chance to make it up to you.

GraceAndShadow wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

GraceAndShadow wrote:
Honestly, there’s not much you can do.Women tend to remember dates and special occasions via default. It’s just uncommon for a male to remember them.However, if it’s the first time he’s forgotten, perhaps maybe take it a little easier on him. He could be under a lot of stress, and it might have just completelt slipped his mind.

Sexist

How is that sexist? I’m female! LOL.

Sexist to men

Times’ gone mad wrote:
My Fiance remembers ALL the dates. I, do not. I’m the woman, but my life is over run with lots of appointments and stuff.

How many years has it been?
Give him a chance to make it up to you.

See women are not perfect —look grace

Well, this is our third anniversary. I reminded him last year and he said that he forgot the date. We were married on the 30th of July and he thought it was the 31st (end of the month is how he says he can remember. So Honestly I sat back to see if he would remember this year.He is under lots of stress but so am i and thats why i was looking forward to being swept away.

Anon, it is pretty much proven that women tend to have a better memory for things such as dates. No, not every woman remembers these things better than men, Grace said that they tend to remember them better than men. Which is true.

To be perfectly honest I see the poster as being more sexist than Grace. Why should it be on the man to “sweep you away”?

Anonymous wrote:

Times’ gone mad wrote:
My Fiance remembers ALL the dates. I, do not. I’m the woman, but my life is over run with lots of appointments and stuff.

How many years has it been?
Give him a chance to make it up to you.

See women are not perfect —look grace

I didn’t say they were perfect. I said it was UNCOMMON. I didn’t mean that all men forgot, nor did I mean that all women remember. (hence the words “women TEND to”) It’s just a personality trait, and I meant nothing sexist about it.

talyabrow wrote:
Well, this is our third anniversary. I reminded him last year and he said that he forgot the date. We were married on the 30th of July and he thought it was the 31st (end of the month is how he says he can remember. So Honestly I sat back to see if he would remember this year.He is under lots of stress but so am i and thats why i was looking forward to being swept away.

Give him a chance, talya. You might be surprised if he has something up his sleeve. And like hey…iknowyou said, the important thing is that you’re married. That’s all that really matters.

Get a small calender and next year circle your anniversary, and leave it somewhere he’ll see it.

I’m a brat but I’d leave him a YOM (You Owe Me) coupon. something cute, like a joke—hopefully he won’t take it the wrong way.

hey…iknowyou wrote:
Anon, it is pretty much proven that women tend to have a better memory for things such as dates. No, not every woman remembers these things better than men, Grace said that they tend to remember them better than men. Which is true. To be perfectly honest I see the poster as being more sexist than Grace. Why should it be on the man to “sweep you away”?

Hmm, I didn’t think of that. Good point. How about you can do something for him, talya?

personally, i’m part of the “who cares” brigade.

not celebrating your anniversary does not make him a bad husband/person. equally, if you want to do something like go on holiday to celebrate it, why can’t you book it?

don’t misunderstand. when i’m in a relationship i’m a very romantic person, but i genuinely think i’d rather be in an equal relationship with someone i am happy with 100% of the time, than someone who demands (i know you aren’t demanding, its my own example) certain things at certain times.

Did he use to do things like sweep you off your feet and since you’ve been married just ignored that part of the relationship?

That would make me mad—hey I’m honest. Is he the ‘bread winner’ and so you can’t necessarily afford to book things on your own? Have you just been feeling kind of down and thought it would turn things around for you?

I might not remember dates, but I think I am the more ‘romantic’ one…

hey…iknowyou wrote:
Anon, it is pretty much proven that women tend to have a better memory for things such as dates. No, not every woman remembers these things better than men, Grace said that they tend to remember them better than men. Which is true.

To be perfectly honest I see the poster as being more sexist than Grace. Why should it be on the man to “sweep you away”?

Product child of marketing and advertising :-) It would just be nice!! I have since cooked a nice meal and given him the Love cd I made. But I still just feel kinda blah about it. typical female I guess… I had this huge build up in my mind and did not communicate my expectations. I will make it known next year.. get a calendar and mark it in bold!

Times’ gone mad wrote:
Get a small calender and next year circle your anniversary, and leave it somewhere he’ll see it.

I’m a brat but I’d leave him a YOM (You Owe Me) coupon. something cute, like a joke—hopefully he won’t take it the wrong way.

Good Idea.. I will~

Now there’s a good plan! Talk about important events like this in the build-up to them, that way you can both plan something and have a nice meal, go on holiday or whatever. It may not be a surprise but you still both get to celebrate the anniversary of the happiest day of your life together :)

You could always start about one month from your anniversary saying, honey OUR anniversary is coming up. What can WE do for EACH other that WE can celebrate this special day. Then at week three, say have you thought of anything WE can do? How about you choose the place to eat and I choose the movie… Then at week two, you say Honey, since I don’t know where WE are going for OUR anniversary and I want to wear something special for YOU, am I dressing up or down (this being a reminder to make the reservation). At week ONE say, okay here are the movie selections this week, and by the way did you know that my favorite flower is xxxxx.

I know you want to be swept off your feet, but you know he forgets. You are setting him up to fail. He probably feels horrible and doesn’t know how to fix it. This is a day for both of you… you should help him remember. That’s the man you married, don’t expect him to be someone else. Love him for his flaws too. He loves you, he married you…you have eachother… Plus after a couple of years of the above method he may get better. Tell him a month away that you really want to be swept off your feet. Maybe he does too!

BFree, my favorite flowers are white roses and stargazer lilies… :D

LOL—I don’t know if you have to keep on him so much but BFree is right, communicating with him will help him to know how to respond and do things so you both can be happy.

lol i remember everything that deals with my hubby hes ex army but when it comes to my things he knows it like it was his. i would just forgive him, mine has forgotten my b-day plenty of times and our anniversary it just slips their minds, cant blame them for it, us women just have a spot in our brain that doesn’t let us forget lol

Stargazer lilies are one of my favorites too. But then I garden as a hobby…and I love all flowers. Even the evil dandilion. I have gotten too many dandilion boquets from my kids to not love them.

Good marriages are about communication. Tell your husband it really hurt. But, forgive him. Then celebrate today, because today is another day you have together and that is a reason to celebrate. These small disappointments are harder sometimes than we realize. But don’t make them into huge issues. Otherwise his motivation for celebrating will be to not hurt you rather than to celebrate your marriage and your love.

Go out for dinner with your friends and tell him why…When you get home make him sleep on the couch. When you get up in the morning make him breakfast (confuse the crap out of him) and then refuse to talk to him until he makes amends…