Love help: They say you shouldn’t go out looking for love and a relationship - Help.com

I think you’re getting to know yourself… You love yourself when you don’t blame yourself for anything, yet you’re not too proud either. When you are just who you are. When you are content with yourself, but you do not feel defeated. When you set goals you can achieve, and you achieve them. Still you could use a friend or two. Go try to spend more time socializing, and equal time with yourself. Having time alone is a good thing, being a loner is not. And sometimes you learn who you really are from others. I will joke now: When I thought I am a nice person, people said I’m a jerk. When I thought I’m a jerk, people called me a nice person…

Yes, I think it does mean you are learning to love yourself. Being contented with what and who you are, is the basis for loving life, seeing the beauty in others and the things about you, the things you do, sharing this with others when you can does bring rewards.
Also people seeing this in you, can help them to want what you have.
They see that you are happy with life, it might just happen that some one will want to share it with you.
It doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s what you are like that matters.

I am glad you are happier with the way you are and that you feel happier with life generally.

Being alone is not a bad thing, being able to share good things with others, when needed. Is also a part of a healthy lifestyle.

when you do the things you like and just stop thinking about things like hate everything about you, your hight, your name, your face, your history, basically to stop to compare and feeling more ‘alive’ and full of fun energy.

You seem to have enjoyed what you did last night, it gave you a lot of pleasure. Do it as often as you can.

I dunno if this is a good advice: quit trying to be a better you, or a worst you… Just be you.

I think too much self-improvement advice is given from the wrong perspective. A passive point of view holds that things will get better if you take action after you start to love yourself. All you have to do is work on feeling good about being you.

An active point of view holds that you earn feeling good about yourself by taking action. Don’t think. Go. That’s the active point of view. You stop worrying about whether or not you’re good enough and go chase the bear with a knife.

Go climb something, brother. Or get obsessed about learning to sail. Or play the guitar. Or train for a marathon. Or build a ship in a bottle. Or take some dance classes. You get the prize after you run the race. The prize isn’t your incentive to try. It’s your reward for action.

Hope this helps, chief.

lol Ysy! im so happy to hear youre feeling better about yourself.
I think youre learning to except yourself, and realizing that
it’s okay to be u.
Im proud of Dan, really.

Sounds like you are really and truly working on it… and I think everyone is always working on it. I know I still am.

It sounds like you are challenging yourself by trying things out a bit and setting yourself up in situations were you can try others on for size for better or worse. The more you challenge yourself to try new things - the more you prove to yourself that you are capable and the more you develop your skills in dealing with these situations. Don’t set yourself up for failure, but do expect to learn something from every experience through observation and interaction - including something about yourself. :)

i think self love is all about being content. are you content? You can’t change your history, but you can change your shoes- and simple things like that can make a difference in your perspective…even if its only for a day.

As far as a relationship goes, sounds like you’re ready to me.

…KeraMarie… wrote:
i think self love is all about being content. are you content? You can’t change your history, but you can change your shoes- and simple things like that can make a difference in your perspective…even if its only for a day.

As far as a relationship goes, sounds like you’re ready to me.

exactly right. to me you seem like youre pretty fine with who you are. and congrats to you more people should find self love like you have. =)

I think that you need to find a way to like yourself more, by concentrating on the things you do like about yourself. I too have always been a person who doesn’t really like myself. But, if we all waited until we completely loved ourselves then we would all be alone probably forever. There is a person out there who likes you for you and one day you will find them or they will find you. I know this because I have been married for 14 years. Just give it time, that is all you can do.

good for you! but as they say no man is an island. be self-sufficient/ reliant yet don’t close your doors to people! :p

Dude, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re doing it all right. Way to go, man. Keep it up!

maybe you’re afraid of the change? Having people around complicates things as each of them has their own needs (ex. you have to talk to them a bit when together), gives a unique feeling (makes you feel comfortable/not) and needs to be interacted with in a certain way (talk only about certain topics).

Just take it in slow, man. Start small. Get as much as one number, though, and start building your network of friends from there. Besides, it’s usually best to have a very limited number of true friends anyway, otherwise you just get swamped with acquaintances and by the time you need to turn to someone for help, you’ll find that none of them are suitable candidates.

… i dont love myself… and i think its ok to love yourself to the extent where youdont become a hermit crabb and that you dont shun ppl for no good reason. i usually am alone too, i dont know if its bescause no one cares for me or if because i push them away, sometiems its hard to tell… and to tell if you love yoruself that is also fairly difficult, i suppose you are feeling better about yourself and even if you dont love yourself yet you are still taking a step forward…its up to you to say…”yes i love myself” or ” i dont love myself yet, but im really begining to like the person i am”

Its a tricky thing to go through, learning to like the person you are, to love yourself and its sounds like you are. You sound like an indepenant, strong character to go from basically the bottom on a scale of appriciating who you are as a person. It’s only recently i’ve been questioning myself and i’m starting to appriciate myself more.

For what it’s worth, Dan;

Ask yourself if you’d change who you are. Not your condition (I’d want to be richer, more popular, better looking) - who YOU are.

The elements that make up Dan are unique; nobody comes off the factory floor completely the same. Are you a night person or a day person? A winter person or a summer person? Are you optimistic or cynical? What are your interests? What are your beliefs? What do you love - what do you hate?

Here’s something most people don’t talk about - when I look in the mirror at 46, I see the changes in my face, but what I see most is my eyes, looking back at me. They don’t change - I’m still in here - me at 12,16,21,35,40 - looking out of some new husk of myself. Your Grandmother - or Great Grandmother, if you still have one - doesn’t see an old woman; they see the person they are, and have been since they were your age, looking out from the latest physical incarnation of themselves. We’re constant - only the looks change.

When you look in the mirror, and you meet your own eyes, are you cool with what you see behind them? If so, you’re doing fine. If not, you can change until what you see there is satisfaction with who you are.

Sometimes, to be on your own is good - To be able to take stock of the thoughts and feelings you have in peace and quiet - Rewarding. Try not to spend too much time on your own! Negativity will build up, ferociously attacking your confidence. Love life. Love life with all your heart. Don’t let self-possessed people get you down, the ones who are only concerned with keeping you down.

Love life and forget about negativity - Negativity is poison to the soul.

To solve a problem, you have to find the solution. Perfection is found by the endless character of honest and upright people. To love life - to you, might be to take up a physical sport - Rugby or Boxing, Darts or 8 ball? Join your local pool hall, take up a sport and love life. Find Jesus or write a book. Don’t be boxed in by negativity! I’ve spent years of being boxed in by foolishness. I hope for you, that the message you recieve today will benefit your heart.

Your so deep =) This might sound silly but its worth a shot have you tried eharmony or a dateing site? I think they are great ways to meet someone because your forced to get to know them before you meet them.

but Im happy your happy doing things alone nowdays…even tho I have a boyfriend(who lives with me) I either want to do something with him or by my self. I dont trust anyone else.

In a loving relationship you look for what you can give/do for the other person. And then you receive happiness.

Too many people look for something in the other person that they lack in themselves. So it is not about giving, but about taking. She’s beautiful - it increases my status and self-esteem to be with her. He’s rich - he can buy me a lot of stuff. He (or she) is so popular - I’ll have lots of friends and go to all the great parties if I’m with him (or her).

How surprising is it that those needy relationships don’t last?

When people say you have to love yourself first, it doesn’t mean you have to be up and think you’re great all the time. It means you have to value your abilities and nurture your spirit, look for what you can give to others - most of all to a “partner,” who matches you in generosity, kindness, and a willingness to be open to all the highs and lows that are part of life.

I know how you feel, with the whole not loving yourself thing. What I did was I found all the good things about me, and I’ve embraced them. I’m sorry I can’t help you much more than that simple little obvious thing, I’m still learning myself.

No, because you’re just enjoying who you are.

“when you love yourself you can truly love the world around you.”
it seems that your case proves this to be true. Keep up the socializing, and i’m sure you’ll find your match very soon ^_^

“they said, you must love yourself before you will someone else, because when you know how to take good care of ur self… means you know how to love others, LOVE is the most important to this world, LOVE is the reason why you are in this world, so LOVE yourself 1st, before looking for someone u want to spend with… DON’T FORGET TO PRAY IS VERY HELPFUL I’LL PROMISE! GOD BLESS! be happy… NOTE: ” LOVE can make you feel whole person as you want to be”

Dude you are just loving yourself and finding yourself right now, Enjoy it. Best wishes.

all i no is the last time i thought i liked myself (like in feelings, not just logically, i luv myself logically speaking but i don feel the luv) it felt like nuthing else, i know that was for fake reasons that never existed really and i was fooling myself, but i do know that when i do like my self feeling wise ever again i will know it, so i guess when u do u know it