friends help: Is this one of life’s little tests? - Help.com

I found out something awful today about someone I thought would have liked to be my friend. I’ve pushed this person away before and I was about to let up now I don’t know what to do. I’ve never trusted this person to begin with, now I found out it’s common for this person to throw away friends, so why bother, but this is really bothering me.

This person reached farther to me then anyone else when my friend died. I had been stepped on previously before by this person hence the mistrust. I’ve tried to open up to people but it hasn’t really helped. I keep getting told i’m just complaining. Well I thought it was supposed to feel better letting it out, well it doesn’t.

I know, this person has been through hell, probably not all brought on to them self by their self. But why reach out if you won’t let me be a person to lean on as well, I don’t want to know the circumstances.

I just wish I never met this person, now I feel our lives our intertwined somehow because of this death.

I miss my friend. This person was only their myspace friend, not in person. I was his friend, he had a lot of real friends. He said he would be my friend. No one had ever said those words to me before.

I’ve not told you what I know about this person, I think it’s really awful, probably not all their fault, but it’s terrible. They do not know that I know this about them either.

I want to make another friend. I don’t think this person does,

I reached out and got stepped on.

I know, I could get on with my life but this will always bug me.

I’m trying to subtle and discreet here but I want to talk about this.

this how bad the throw away friends things has gotten, i use to have this person’s number, well i just called, disconnected, now their be other reasons but i know all to well.

If I can be empathetic to the point of tears than I guess I’m not as cold as I think I am.

This person tried to do something nice for me when they were a complete stranger I tried to make an effort to get to know this person and it went sour.

Now I know things I wish I hadn’t, some I found out from this person them self, and some from other people.

I was convinced that this person would just throw me away, not be a lasting friend.

well i did make an effort, more than once. I could see it in their eyes that they were ducking me, but they reached out first in a manner that usually means friendship.

I have to be vague.

If I try and contact this person now it will be totally suspect since they saw me talking with a former friend.

one of their former friends,

who shouldn’t be telling me things I didn’t ask about.

sorry, i just have to let a little bit of this out.

I know what I should just don’t know how to go about doing it. I kind of just want to break the ice with “Did you ever really want to be friend, because that’s all I wanted.” I want to look this person in the eye and say this, but I don’t want to be condescending.

try again.

I think i’m failing.

Not letting people in and not being able to accept what I get back.

because I get treated that way.