Love help: I have a problem, i’m married, but not happily. - Help.com

how old is your son? is your ex husband his dad?

It’s better to come from a broken home than to live in one

As the author of the book, Divorce Busting, and someone who has a keen interest in the impact of divorce on families, I am eager to respond to your question, “Do you think a couple should stay in an unhappy marriage if they have children?”

First of all, the question implies that once a marriage is unhappy, it will stay that way. This is an unfortunate assumption. We have come a very long way in the last few years in deciphering the formula for making marriages successful and happy. Couples can now take valuable relationship skill-building classes where they can learn how to transform an empty, unhappy marriage into a more loving one. It isn’t magic. When you have children, you owe it to them to leave absolutely no stone unturned if you are considering dissolving your marriage. Once a marriage dissolves, so too, does the family… forever.

Research tells us that children benefit from divorce only in those situations where there is extreme abuse. It is estimated that only one third of the divorces in our country fit this criteria. In all other cases, children lose out on many different dimensions when their parents split. Even when the adults feel happier as a result of divorce, research shows that there is no “trickle down effect” in terms of how the children fare.

With only minor exception, anyone in an unhappy marriage can do something about it. You don’t have to and shouldn’t live in misery. Once you choose to bring children into the world, divorce isn’t a solution to an unhappy marriage. Fixing it is.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_stay_…

I’m with Da-11; you owe it to your child to give it a try. Not only can you WORK on your marriage, but at some point you have to come to the realization that maybe life is NEVER going to be a bed of roses no matter HOW many marriages you abandon. Even if it’s not fairy-tale-happy, can’t you find some pleasure in daily life with your husband and child? Passion does not last forever, but contentment can. Why not try to find ways to be content?

That is, in the long run, all that most of us can hope to achieve.

lanita197 wrote:
I understand what you’re saying to me, but i feel i owe it to my son to stay with my husband. He’s been his father / dad to my son & my son really does love him alot. But then again i feel confused about the situation, so actually i’m still in the same boat i was before.

Check out the sight I linked to, it has a lot of useful information. Of course they are trying to see something (a book) but for the sake of your son and even the man who has been taking care of him and you all this time, its worth spending a little more time trying to get things right before running off. You can still run off later if things still don’t work. Check out the sight and even consider getting the book, its cheep and worth at least reading.