work help: What a high turn-over help.com… is for the people who work - Help.com

I think people burn out, leave because they have done too much and feel a little battered by it all.
It is hard not to take abit of emotion fromeach post your respond too, I mean you see some really bad lives here, you can’t read it and leave the post and not ever think about it again.
After a while it builds up and you do have to just take time out for yourself and build up again.

I help because I feel I can with many things here and I want to.

Perhaps they need some time to themselves. On this site you will see the ones who help more than asking to be helped. I am sure if those people have issues circling their mind, it can become frustrating and maybe even depressing to find yourself so unable to sometimes take the advice you give and some just need a break to help themselves. Lazydaze is right, it can be pretty exhausting to respond to some posts (mentally and emotionally) and can take some time as well.

I try to help because there are not many things I am that good at, but i think I have some decent experience under my belt and and pretty good at connecting with people. Random act of kindness??? sometimes it feels like that, I assume I would give the same advice to someone on the street if they asked me. But if anything it goes both ways, helps someone deal with their thoughts or problems and in return you see how as a whole, the basic human emotions, desires, fears, joys, etc etc are pretty much shared by most and helps me keep the humanist faith.

And a belated Welcome to you. :)

I agree with Daze, people burn out, it can be very emotionally draining. I think that’s why social work is such a hard job, I know this site isn’t on the same scale, but it is very similar.

I’ve only been here a short time as well OK2BU, but for me I don’t expect anything in return. I help people because it makes something good out of the mistakes I’ve made in my life.
I use to be an deeply involved in advising parents of children that were violently and repetitively bullied in schools. After a couple of years I completely burned out. I had to hear about the victim’s suicides and emotional destruction. I never stopped worrying about all of them. It took a giant emotional toll on me, and all the other advocates too.
This place is so much easier to bear. Plus you often get to hear about the happy endings here.
But, again, I’ve only been here a very short time. I suppose after a couple of years this place could take a great toll on a person as well.

For me it was someone who took advantage of me by playing games, hence repeatedly lying to me. I can’t say that it wasn’t worth my time and effort because Im sure it helps just for someone to have another to talk to.But It hurt deeply just the same. Maybe the key to not falling into this trap is to stay at a emotional distance which I tried, but we are only human and naturally become connected to each other. also some, myself included get ‘Burned out’, especially if all they do is help. I try to make time for some of the fun posts to balance it out. Its worked wonders.

I think there are a few reasons why people leave. The first two, burn-out and personal issues, have already been mentioned. It could also have nothing at all to do with help.com - they could have changed work so they don’t have much time, get a child that needs constant attention et cetera.
But another reason I like to think people leave, is that they have really been helped. That doesn’t only go for those that come here for help, also for those that like to help. For me, I come here when there is little in my own life I can really use my intelligence on for the good of others, or when I really need to remember that others have bigger problems than mine, or I simply need the reassurance that I really am a very capable person. I imagine that other people have their reasons for coming here to help as well, besides the obvious need to make a difference for someone. Social contact can be such a reason, for example. So I think many helpers that aren’t around as much as they used to have found something in their own life that fills the gap, so they are using their skills in the real world now. Those that felt lonely have found friends, or a partner. Those with low self-esteem used the confidence they gained helping here to improve their own life and now have less time to spare. Those that need to feel they make a difference have found a place they can make even more of a difference. I like to think they have progressed, gone to a better place…

But of course there are also those that are frustrated because they have put so much in this place that they feel shocked to find out people here don’t know them well enough, hurt them, wound them, attack them, out of ignorance. Politics happens wherever people convene, and it’s ugly everywhere. For those that leave because of this, I always hope there is a quieter place for them somewhere, or they will find the courage to return.

OK2BU wrote:
I like being helped out here and I like [doing my small part] of helping others… emotionally this is as much as I can handle at the moment…this is my balance… thanks Chameleon!

I hear you! This is as much as I can handle too :)

OK2BU wrote:
I can never do as much as you [Mamabear] you have touched and helped [healed] countless others… hibernating is recommended every so often… just remember you just need to save only one at a time…starting with yourself… you have helped me more than you will ever know…

Thank you luv, that’s always nice to hear :) and the reminder to take care of myself. I don’t know how but I’m learning its for the best.