Love help: I have a big secret that I’m holding in and I have to let it out. - Help.com

he’s probably not all he says he is either. how far do you live from him? do you plan on meeting in person?

He is. I have seen him on web cam and I practically know his whole family already. He lives about an hour from me. I want to meet him but i cant because he doesnt know how i really look.

u never know he might like the real u better!

What do you look like outta curiosity. Do you think you’re pretty? If so, he might too And man, I don’t know what to say about that one. I know that I’ve hated when people had fake pics up of themselves and I always post mine. I don’t know how to get you out of that one. Ask him what would he do if you don’t like like you said you did. Good luck.

Update your pic. and that should say something to him. Besides that he shouldn’t think of you any differently.

Just repost your pic. tell him that you did not have the intention to hurt him, but that you want to take away all the big secrets. tell him that you love him.

HEY!

lol think you should do what we just said

Sorry, didn’t mean to copy you(I’m a slow typer)

its alright hey great minds think alike

Tell him you didn’t want to have any stalkers online and you don’t like posting your pic on the internet. And do like they said. Re post your pic, and see what he says about it. Cause he’s gonna have to know eventually.

Just tell him the truth. It’ll be hard, but it has to be done. Get it over with. Maybe he’ll run, maybe not, but you can’t string him along forever.

dadaism wrote:
Just tell him the truth. It’ll be hard, but it has to be done. Get it over with. Maybe he’ll run, maybe not, but you can’t string him along forever.

If he does run, he’s not worth you.

You made a mistake. Now be you.

if he likes you, for you. (which is very precarious on-line) then repost it.
In General, no sweat. No relationship you build up on-line will be any guarantee for even a click in real life. even if the two of you did look amazing, and were. You will need to meet up anyhow.

(picture wise, next time, get yourself on your best looks, NEVER post fake pictures…)

Anon, did you post about this before? I remember another post that was exactly like this one, and the poster said she was writing him a story and in it revealed the truth. She said she’d give it to him after she finished it (in 1 week).
Was that you?

if he doesn’t like you for who you are, then it wasn’t meant to be anything more than a learning experience.

I agree with the others that say post up your pic.

Just re-post your pic and don’t say anything.
If he brings it up… just say, “OH, I didn’t have a pic to post up and now I do. But that doesn’t change anything does it?”

Then just don’t make an issue out of it.

Like you didn’t think looks really mattered….

if he says it does… just say,”Well, I have obviously over looked yours!”

I know that sounds mean.. but that is the only advice I can come up with.

Keep us posted… btw… how would you describe yourself versus the pic you already have displayed??

Kima wrote:
I agree with the others that say post up your pic.

Just re-post your pic and don’t say anything.
If he brings it up… just say, “OH, I didn’t have a pic to post up and now I do. But that doesn’t change anything does it?”

Then just don’t make an issue out of it.

Like you didn’t think looks really mattered….

if he says it does… just say,”Well, I have obviously over looked yours!”

I know that sounds mean.. but that is the only advice I can come up with.

Keep us posted… btw… how would you describe yourself versus the pic you already have displayed??

That’s a great idea.
=]
You should do that.

Psh, I photo shop all of my pictures.
=/
Ehh.
Don’t feel bad.

I’m sure that during the 4 months they’ve been communicating he has commented on her looks and she didn’t say it’s not her. He probably even asked her in the beginning, “Is that you in the pic?” so she can’t really say, “Oh I just didn’t have a pic of me to put up but I do now”. It’s far too late for that.

Chameleon wrote:
I’m sure that during the 4 months they’ve been communicating he has commented on her looks and she didn’t say it’s not her. He probably even asked her in the beginning, “Is that you in the pic?” so she can’t really say, “Oh I just didn’t have a pic of me to put up but I do now”. It’s far too late for that.

its never to late. you just have to go for it. if this is the case, tell him you were afaid of how you looked. if he is as good as you think, he will get it. and if that doesn’t work, well he’s not worth it.

arts4life2 wrote:

Chameleon wrote:
I’m sure that during the 4 months they’ve been communicating he has commented on her looks and she didn’t say it’s not her. He probably even asked her in the beginning, “Is that you in the pic?” so she can’t really say, “Oh I just didn’t have a pic of me to put up but I do now”. It’s far too late for that.

its never to late. you just have to go for it. if this is the case, tell him you were afaid of how you looked. if he is as good as you think, he will get it. and if that doesn’t work, well he’s not worth it.

I said it’s too late to use that as an excuse. lol

no, you said

Chameleon wrote:
so she can’t really say, “Oh I just didn’t have a pic of me to put up but I do now”.

I said

[quote arts4life2]
tell him you were afaid of how you looked. quote]

I was talking about THIS reply -

Kima wrote:
I agree with the others that say post up your pic.

Just re-post your pic and don’t say anything.
If he brings it up… just say, “OH, I didn’t have a pic to post up and now I do. But that doesn’t change anything does it?”

Then just don’t make an issue out of it.

Like you didn’t think looks really mattered….

if he says it does… just say,”Well, I have obviously over looked yours!”

I know that sounds mean.. but that is the only advice I can come up with.

Keep us posted… btw… how would you describe yourself versus the pic you already have displayed??

Chameleon wrote:
Anon, did you post about this before? I remember another post that was exactly like this one, and the poster said she was writing him a story and in it revealed the truth. She said she’d give it to him after she finished it (in 1 week).
Was that you?

no it wasnt me.

Chameleon wrote:
I’m sure that during the 4 months they’ve been communicating he has commented on her looks and she didn’t say it’s not her. He probably even asked her in the beginning, “Is that you in the pic?” so she can’t really say, “Oh I just didn’t have a pic of me to put up but I do now”. It’s far too late for that.

exactly…its too late for that..
i have an idea tho ..i think i’m going to link him to this page so he can read all this and maybe it wont be as bad =[ …i really love him and want to be with him and i want him to understand all this and i dont know if i have the guts to explain it to him. he also says that even if its not me in the picture even if i looked outrageously ugly in anyway he would still be with me. But i don’t know if i believe that.

Everyone I know tells me I’m not ugly, but I have self esteem issues.I think I’m very ugly and he makes me feel so good about myself. I was told my whole life by my father that I’m ugly. When you hear that everyday you start to believe it. I’m so ashamed of what I did =[

Well this isn’t just an issue of your looks. He said he’d still be with you if you’re ugly, but he never said he’d still be with you if you’re a liar.

I know. I messed up big time. I don’t want to lose him but I know I have to tell him the truth and I will probably lose him but i guess that’s the punishment i get for lying…
Do you think I should let him read this page?

Sure, that would work fine. As long as you tell him that you’re the Poster.

Thank you guys. I’m going to tell him either today or tomorrow. I have a knot in my stomach from this so I just have to gather up the courage to do it and get it over with.

Good luck. I hope it all works out in your favor. A relationship based on a lie has no hope, so at least by coming clean it has hope :)

we all make mistakes. and we definitely all want to be somebody else at times. it’s unfortunate that the time you branched out to be somebody else- it fell through, because you fell for this guy. but i believe everything happens for a reason. if he really loves you he’ll pull through. unless he pulls the whole “how could you lie to me?” … in which he should understand you were only being human.

goood luck to you. either way, good or bad, things will work out for you with time.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate everything everyone is saying.

by the way ..this is me..
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f15…

Anonymous wrote:
by the way ..this is me..
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f15…

:)
You’re pretty.

I don’t see why you have to worry.

:DD
What was the picture you showed him?

haha.
Don’t sweat it, girls like all the time
;D It’s like in our nature.
;DD Haha.

aww thank you…

If he’s in love with your looks, then he doesn’t love you at all, and you won’t lose anything.

If he’s in love with you as a person, he won’t care about the looks, and you won’t lose anything.

Either way, come clean. And be more honest with him from now on.

Anonymous wrote:
Everyone I know tells me I’m not ugly, but I have self esteem issues.I think I’m very ugly and he makes me feel so good about myself. I was told my whole life by my father that I’m ugly. When you hear that everyday you start to believe it. I’m so ashamed of what I did =[

You father is evil. You don’t your kids that, even if it’s true. lol. Kidding. I’m sure you’re not ugly. If his heart is that big to where he doesn’t really care what you look like, then it should be ok. And some people are really like that. So go for it. Has to happen either way, if it’s going to go further. And I doubt that you’re ugly. Most women have some kind of esteem issues one way or another. We are our worst critics. I’m sure you’re not ugly though.

And I just saw your pic. You are not an ugly chick. Just tell him. I wanna see the pic you posted though.

I told him last night and he is still talking to me. He said that he is hurt because I made him believe something that wasn’t true for so long and he feels like he doesn’t know who I am anymore. But he still tells me that he loves me! and he wants to start fresh from the beginning. I couldn’t believe it and I still have doubts about it, but he kept telling me that he loved me and kept calling me baby. He kept telling me that I was beautiful. =] Thank you all so much you really helped me so much!!

Yaaaaay!! See? I am soooooooo happy for you. Now just keep it real from now on. When do you guys plan on meeting?

=] Thank you. Next weekend hopefully. But the whole phone conversation that lasted about 5 hrs last night was very weird. I kept apologizing and I felt so stupid and ashamed of myself. I told him that I think I need some time to adjust because I didnt expect him to act the way he did. It’s weird for him too , so if we are ok with each other in the next 2 weeks then we are going to meet up and start over.

That’s good. It shouldn’t be a that big of an issue. And you shouldn’t feel shamed. Though you should have told him as soon as you started talking to him, you had that other pic up because you had no intentions with hooking up with anyone. 5 hours on the phone is a good sign. MEans that something is still there. So good luck. I hope you guys will be ok. But don’t dwell on it. Time to move forward. it’s done and neither of you can change it, so it is what it is or it is what it ain’t. lol

I bet you feel the weight of the world off your shoulders Anon :)
I’m glad your confession was met with such understanding. He sounds like a great guy!

awee well the right thing to do is obviously to tell him. i had a friend who lied about her age once in a similar situation, and she finally told the guy. he was mad about it for awhile, but he forgave her, and their relationship grew stronger. it really is easier said than done, but once you get it over with, you’ll feel a huge weight off of your shoulders.

if he doesnt love u for who u are then forget him