Love help: Hi I’ve just told my boyfriend of almost two years that - Help.com

Sounds like you’ve got an awful lot of stuff to go over.
I think for your sake, perhaps you need to reflect a little on what it is you need from your partner.

A conversationalist he isn’t, but one on one he’s great (that means he can speak to you). He wants a better job (just unsure) has nothing to do with his personality (one on one he’s great)..Sounds like the problem is you and not him. Best you let him go so he can find someone to love HIM back. If you fall for others suggestions, your life is not yours but theirs. You will not find happiness this way.

BTW, when you love some one it is “unconditional”. Setting conditions means to change someone. SUGGESTIONS: write a list of the good and a list of the bad..if the good outweigh the bad the you have an answer!

I understand how he feels. I have felt that way to some time ago.
Do you know what he needs? He needs someone to love him, he’s lost and can’t find a way back. If you really love him you have to hold his hand and bring him back….
If you don’t love him, set him free, he will find someone who realy loves him.
Talk to him about what he wants to do.. what are his interests? everyone has interests. Let him choose a job that is in his interest. And in a relationship you don’t need to justify problems. You need to SOLVE them… If there is something that you don’t like, talk about it. How will someone see there mistake if nobody tells them that they made a mistake.
And Iam sure there are enough things that you can be proud of in your partner. Nobody is perfect. ok he doesn’t have the perfect job, so what the hell? Is he faithful to you? So yes than be proud of that. Is he spending enough time with you? So yes, be proud of that. Is he giving you enough love? so yes, be proud of that.
Does he have good looks? Be proud of that….
Even if he has nothing to be proud of…. He said he is trying to change his job. be proud of that, at least he is trying. its not his fault that he doesn’t have any ideas…It can happen. That’s why he needs support…
you said he is a great guy and he would do anything for you…. Be proud of that. Thare are other guys in the world who only care about therself. He cares about you. So you should care about him…
And most important of all: Let him know that you are proud. There is nothing better for a guy than when his girlfriend tells heim that she loves him and is proud of him….

I think you are very unsure about your relationship. you have to be sure of yourself before you can help him. you have to be happy before you can make him happy. And please, please call him, it breaks my heart to know that you don’t have contact with him. he must be missing you….If you have problems in your relationship don’t walk away, don’t take a break, solve it instantly. you know, most people don’t realize it, but life is short, so spend as most time as possible with your loved ones. i don’t want anyone to come to a point that he/she sais: “I wish I had spend more time with that person.” Its the most painful feeling you can have. i have somethin with my girlfriend about problems: If we have problems we solve them before we go to sleep. if we wake up the next morning, everything should be cool. if we don’t wake up the next morning, things will be uncompleted and you will regret it your whole life. Also a thing you could do in times of stress and problems: cuddle each other. cuddle him as long as you don’t feel good. Maybe you don’t know, but cuddling changes your negative energy to positive energy and you will feel good again. (Ok iam not gonna write a whole explanaition of energy for you lol)

I know that if I don’t stop right now, I will write a whole book for you. i hope that you read this and that it will be helpful and not to boring…
Please send me your feedback…

Regards,

If you even have to ask that question I think you already know the answer.

Only you know this, do you really want to be with this guy who you feel has no passion or ‘get up and go’ about him.

Obviously this is not a flaw, and this isn’t his fault. It doesn’t make you shallow to want to have something more meaningful-it just means that unfortunately you two aren’t a good match. It happens-every day! its life. You need to be adult about this and let him know your feelings and that you want to end it asap so that your not giving him false hope.

this could be a fase…or the spark is gone but only time can tell…if you can get thru that part where you cant stand each other then that means the love is strong this could be that stage or yor just not interested…but give it time, love is about taking a chans

It sounds as if you were right to take a break. Most of the things you are thinking of will become clear for you when you don’t see him for a while. As for the moral dilemma you seem to have, am I allowed to judge him for things that are part of the way he is, I think you know the answer there.. Don’t judge him for it, don’t try to change him, but take his whole character into account when you decide whether or not you two are a good match. And remeber, if you do like this guy and want to hang out with him, but turn out not to love him as a boyfriend and potential spouse, it’s only honest to tell him that. You could still be good friends, I’ve seen it many times, as long as you are honest.

The fact that you had to ask, is your answer? You KNOW when you love someone and if you doubt that you do, then you don’t. I’ve missed hanging around people to that I didn’t love. So that’s possible. But him having flaws is no a reason to want to leave someone.

I think taking a break is a good thing for you to do. I have recently gone through a similar thing myself. It is important that you respect him for what he is and if that is not for you, you have to be honest with yourself and him. It can be hard to forget about the pressures of society but at the end of the day it is your choice who you are with but you have got to be able to stand by that choice. It does not matter what he does or who he is as long as there is respect and love. Everyone has flaws.He sounds like a good guy and there are not that many of them about. Have a good think and good luck.