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hmm. doesn’t seem like the most solid relationship you have there. good communication should be right up there. is he moving to be with you specificially, or for other reasons?
don’t be depressed. to be fair, you (both) should have planned this out BEFORE he decided to move. but don’t worry. don’t change your stance on this. tell him you are quite looking forward to living with him, but you need to sort out your cheques first, right? if he continues to give you the silent treatment he is being a bit of a baby. communication about such a big issue is key.
to be honest, i do kinda understand his situation too (with the little i know about him). if i was moving somewhere to be with my girl, i’d wanna bit of lee-way in return, y’know? but - like i said, it should have been discussed before the decision was made. so don’t change your position. yet.
and if he doesn’t listen to what you have to say, don’t make any extra effort. wait for him to do it. it sounds like the problem is with him, not you. imo :)
lol sorry. OR - ask him what he wants/expects. that will be a good starting point.
i’m done now :p
BlindOptimism wrote:
lol sorry. OR - ask him what he wants/expects. that will be a good starting point.
i’m done now :p
Thanks for the detailed writing about my situation.He hasn’t moved here yet, not until December. He wants to move mainly because of me.You are right , there should be good communication. I think he is crying right now. He is the type that is not ashamed to cry. Maybe a baby. I will ask him what he expects.That sounds good to me. Thank for your help!
it’s ok for him to be upset. but he shouldn’t be unreasonable either. make sure you communicate with him well, and be understanding as to his sitation, because he is moving for you. but only, make him understand your situation too.
then im sure you will be able to come up with a positive solution together :) good luck :)
Ok. Well…don’t put him on the lease. And how would that affect your social security? Is that what they told you? I know people who have people live with them that get social security. Can’t really have the man moving to another country to be with you and he can’t stay with you. That’s wierd.
tyonnn wrote:
Ok. Well…don’t put him on the lease. And how would that affect your social security? Is that what they told you? I know people who have people live with them that get social security. Can’t really have the man moving to another country to be with you and he can’t stay with you. That’s wierd.
My mom told me if I put his name on the lease they will deduct money from my social security checks. I don’t know if this is true or not because we are not married or anything. I told him he can stay here for a little while until the office finds out about him living in my apt. He still isn’t talking to me.****!I’m not sure about SSD though.
i was kinda think ‘why don’t you just not put him on the lease’, but i don’t know whether that would be illegal or not. then it would just be a question of morality.
how long until a ‘guest’ becomes an ‘inhabitant’. how would they find out?
Yeah…mama’s aren’t always right, like they want to be. This is not welfare. your disability has nothing to do with someone living with you. That’s not gonna change your status. you might be happy as hell, but that’s about it. lol. The only reason they would have to deduct from your check is if you start working. Even then, you can make a certain amount of money or work a certain amount of hours before they deduct or stop it all together. Maybe she told you that because she didn’t want anyone moving in with you. But I’d call SSD. That doens’t really sound right. It makes no sense. What reason would they have for that, you know? How old are you?
I think it is illegal to not put his name on the lease, but I figured I could let him stay with me until the office finds out. I can always tell the office he is staying here temporarily.
tyonnn wrote:
Yeah…mama’s aren’t always right, like they want to be. This is not welfare. your disability has nothing to do with someone living with you. That’s not gonna change your status. you might be happy as hell, but that’s about it. lol. The only reason they would have to deduct from your check is if you start working. Even then, you can make a certain amount of money or work a certain amount of hours before they deduct or stop it all together. Maybe she told you that because she didn’t want anyone moving in with you. But I’d call SSD. That doens’t really sound right. It makes no sense. What reason would they have for that, you know? How old are you?
Yes..mamas aren’t always right. I will have to call them and ask them I guess.No, she doesn’t want him living with me either. I am 33yrs old.
BlindOptimism wrote:
i was kinda think ‘why don’t you just not put him on the lease’, but i don’t know whether that would be illegal or not. then it would just be a question of morality.how long until a ‘guest’ becomes an ‘inhabitant’. how would they find out?
Woohoo. Great minds think alike. They wouldn’t. Depends on how big are small your complex is. I’ve done it a few times. I think for most places a guest is a tenant after a couple of weeks. But right. How would they know. You can’t really have him come way out to wherever, then put him out. This is a strange country to him. Or wherever you are.
And it’s not really illegal. You won’t go to jail. Well…maybe it is. But all that would happen is they would say he has to leave. Are you a rule follower to the T? Don’t let us b a bad influence. But how will they know. Just call SSD and ask them.
Why does she not want him living with you? Have you guys ever met. Or how did you meet? does your mom not like him?
Well..I don’t follow all the rules. NO..I have to call SSD to find out if this is true or if my mom is just saying it so he won’t move in. No one is a bad influence here.lol don’t worry. yes..he is in Belgium..I’m in U.S.-so big difference.anyways thanks for your help. I will definatly call them.thanks for both your guys help.
i would feel uneasy about putting him on the tenancy in the first place. what if you break up immediately or something?
besides, i don’t know where you live, but isn’t there local issues that would need sorting as well? like, dont you need a green card to live/work in america, for example? (i don’t know how it works exactly, i’m from uk), but wouldnt he need to have a “home address” for that sorta thing?
tyonnn wrote:
Why does she not want him living with you? Have you guys ever met. Or how did you meet? does your mom not like him?
tyonnn wrote:
Why does she not want him living with you? Have you guys ever met. Or how did you meet? does your mom not like him?
Yes..we met for a few days here in the U.S..Hes great guy!She likes what he has done for me and who he is.She just doesn’t want anyone living with me.
BlindOptimism wrote:
i would feel uneasy about putting him on the tenancy in the first place. what if you break up immediately or something?besides, i don’t know where you live, but isn’t there local issues that would need sorting as well? like, dont you need a green card to live/work in america, for example? (i don’t know how it works exactly, i’m from uk), but wouldnt he need to have a “home address” for that sorta thing?
BlindOptimism wrote:
i would feel uneasy about putting him on the tenancy in the first place. what if you break up immediately or something?besides, i don’t know where you live, but isn’t there local issues that would need sorting as well? like, dont you need a green card to live/work in america, for example? (i don’t know how it works exactly, i’m from uk), but wouldnt he need to have a “home address” for that sorta thing?
well.he is getting his work visa which allows him to work here(U.S.) for months.then he has to re -apply again to continue to work here.In order to reside here permanently he needs something else. Anyways-hes got that all figured out all ready. Thanks
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